>I cannot replicate this.

I don't expect anyone to be able to replicate this behavior. The example shows 
an extraordinarily stripped-down sequence of statements that informs what 
should work, but do to some unknown agent, which, therefore, cannot be included 
in the example, produces unexpected output.

This conceptual example is not a 'sample' or 'excerpt' of the actual 
application. There is much, much more code. None of it is an apparent likely 
suspect in causing this behavior.

I am hoping for a, "Oh, yeah! I've seen that happen before. It's caused by..."

Let us focus on the central question:

Would there be a PHP function that would do [what the example describes] as a 

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