----------------------------------------------------------- New Message on Pituitary Chat
----------------------------------------------------------- From: Willard1H Message 12 in Discussion "You are an incredibly strong person, and I admire you." Hi, Tumor-Boy, Your comment puzzled me, wondering which message you were replying to, among all the terrific posts. I admire each of our strong people who face the issue of suicide in this discussion. But I hope you're not referring to me as 'strong.' I often feel like I'm in the evil hands of... this disease, the powerful medication, and now the throes of hormone replacement therapy. I don't feel 'strong' in resisting those suicidal urges. Earlier this week I felt 'strong' in my resolve to take the plunge and end in all. I stopped by and bought "the $20 Wal-Mart Suicide Kit." I 'strongly' wrote my last thoughts, putting wallet and key ring on the message. Then, lights out. But a hose in my apparatus slipped out, and there I was minutes later, alive and well. Yet, even still breathing and now facing the same overwhelming pressures, I won't admit I attempted suicide in a 'weak moment.' But I agree that it was a selfish episode, one in which I did not think of loved ones or even fellow Pitters on this message board. I apologize for that. My church knows about my failed attempt, and they've promised to give my some financial assistance. I hope they're not expecting me to erupt with "Hallelujahs" and pleas from forgiveness. I don't see suicide as The Unforgivable Sin. Christianity Today asks, "Will Jesus welcome home a believer who died at her own hands?" Their author answers, "I believe he will, tenderly and lovingly." The stigma seems to be subsiding in many religions, as in secular society. And no, I won't give the details on the mechanism I attempted to use. Amazon.com may be wondering why they sell so many of this toy kit, noting on its page, "Customers Who Bought Items Like This Also Bought" the suicide manual! My act wasn't a moment of depression or extreme emotion, but was coldly thought out. Oh, there was some emotion... I talked beforehand with a friend who will be taking me to my endocrinologist this Tuesday. He could tell I wasn't behaving like myself, when I said I was 'rescheduling' the appointment. I didn't plan to be alive for it. Believe me, my endo and I are going to have a serious talk about all the side effects (from cabergoline and the 'steroid' injections). It's scary, knowing we're so affected by our tumors and the treatments. Wish me luck on my upcoming appointment! Willard ----------------------------------------------------------- To stop getting this e-mail, or change how often it arrives, go to your E-mail Settings. http://groups.msn.com/PituitaryChat/_emailsettings.msnw Need help? If you've forgotten your password, please go to Passport Member Services. http://groups.msn.com/_passportredir.msnw?ppmprop=help For other questions or feedback, go to our Contact Us page. http://groups.msn.com/contact If you do not want to receive future e-mail from this MSN group, or if you received this message by mistake, please click the "Remove" link below. On the pre-addressed e-mail message that opens, simply click "Send". Your e-mail address will be deleted from this group's mailing list. mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
