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Stacy,
I'm very sorry this shit head f..cked with your head.
I really wish I had something to say that would help but I'm lost myself.
I'm almost 5 years post and things start looking up then down like a damn emotional roller coaster but don't give up on love it's one of our best assets.
Mark
-------Original Message-------
Date: Thursday, August 05, 2004 21:59:47
Subject: [QUAD-L] I was right, men suck
I am shocked after all the shit (honesty) that was flown around here when Mike and I were talking and during his visit. He decided to cop out of the relationship he wanted to start on Monday. His visit was supposed to happen Friday. He said at first it wasn't fair to me and when I told him that what was going on is what I expected he said that he can't be with me all the time and he can't handle that. I did my best to protect my heart this time and told him that if he thought for one second that he may not be able to handle it then do not come visit me. I reminded him of it. I have been a mess all week about it and now I am through shedding tears. I know I am sick of being alone but I am even more sick of my heart getting broken by men that think they can handle a relationship with me but really can't. I have been trying to figure out what I have been doing wrong to make all these men keep hurting me. I no sooner get over one and then another one comes along and does this to me. Thank God I find out in the beginning how they are but my God, stop fu..ing with my heart. I figure I am doing the right thing by taking my time before I open my heart to these people and then this. I guess I was right before and I am destined to be alone. I sure am ruined for sometime before I can trust another man. It's not even that I lost Mike, it's that I fu...ed up and trusted someone. I believed what he said when he said that he really liked me and wanted to see where it could go. He had the nerve to leave me a message when he got home that he was excited to see where it could go. I know that I am better than to trust someone and let them hurt me and will be careful who I open my heart and home for. I made sure that I told him that he lost what could have been the best thing that has ever happened to him and he sucks for not letting himself be happy. I know it's not the disability because he works in the field plus I was honest with him about what I think he should have known so he came into this with his eyes wide open.
I now retract my apology for saying that men suck because they do except for you men because you are my friends and my friends don’t suck. So I am not bashing you guys. Thanks for reading my rambling if you did not give up on reading this half way through.
Stacy
"People who hate you do not win unless you hate them. Then you destroy yourself"
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