Re: [QUAD-L] My theory

[Stacy Harim]

Dillon, I'm a para (T 7/8). I have been in the chair for 4 years and have only dated one guy for a very short time.  I think he couldn't handle the chair personally.  I don't know about your theory. Of course I can do more on my own.  I live alone, not quite driving yet, go to school and push myself around.  I don�t think that you theory is quite accurate. If a quad and a para are sitting next to each other then yes, the para would have the better chance, yet in a normal situation in general public you would probably see one or the other.  People can be very superficial and see the wheelchair. And at that point a chair is a chair.  I'm sure that a lot of people don�t look at a quad and think "well if they could move their arms more or they were a para then I would date them."  It�s a wheelchair and that's all they see.  I think that I am an attractive person.  I take care of myself and think that I am fairly OK to look at and haven't gotten near the attention that I used to.  Honestly I haven't been hit on since I got sick.   And River,  I feel exactly the same way as you. I know that para's can transfer themselves without the board.  They just hop right over.  I hear about it from people all the time.  They tell me how they know someone in a chair and what they do and I feel inferior sometimes. Like why can't I do any of those things?  Then I think I am not them.  I am me and this is what I can do.  I would only hope that you feel the same way about it. ----- Original Message ----- From: dillon awe To: quad-list Sent: Monday, February 07, 2005 8:58 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] My theory I have a theory about sexuality and spinal cord injuries.  I believe that the lower the injury level or higher the function is for SCI individuals the more attractive women or men  will be to that person.  Though I hold no grudge against paraplegics or low level quadriplegics, I think it is so much easier to introduce yourself to women and break the ice as well as develop a relationship when that person is not confronted with a bulky electric chair etc..  I might be wrong and I hope I am but does it not just seems paraplegics have it so much easier.  Not only from personal observation but in advice columns I read, magazines and even on the covers of disability magazines, all I see or read about his couples who are paraplegics or low level quadriplegics/higher functioning. I never read about quadriplegics with very little function either through their neck or upper arms getting the girl.   What do you think?  Please prove me wrong   Dillon