When I lived in New York State I actually had 3 male caregivers. The first one did not do my "hands-on care" but he worked in the capacity of 3 hours every weekday to have him do whatever I want. Ahem! That came out the wrong way. LOL. Although true. I would get home from college and he would transfer me from the wheelchair to my bed so I could rest anywhere from 90 minutes to 2 hours before getting back up in my chair for the rest of the day. While I was resting I would have him do miscellaneous things like wash my van to helping me move around my college materials. He also drove my van and took me anywhere I needed to go. And things like that. Ironically though, it was him that I met my Ex through! A relationship that went good for 12 years.
2) The second male aide did the same as the first (above) when I moved into my first apartment with my Ex. Then, after I began working I got in touch with him again to hire him for housework in the first home that I purchased. Then he was out of my life again for awhile until after I split up with my Ex and moved into an assisted living facility and the home health agency hired him to work for me for my personal care! So he was in and out of my life in three different ways. Ahhhh.... the things that smaller towns sometimes have happen. A much smaller world. 3) After I married my current husband a little over 12 years ago... I moved out of the assisted living facility into a home with my husband and the drive was too far for the 2nd male home health aide above to make. But I was still receiving agency help and one of the first home health aides they brought in was a tall, very thin, 63-year-old man that I thought "This will never work!" Never judge a book by its cover I have learned. He turned out to be one of the BEST home health-care aides that I have had. He was not gay but he was a perfectionist and not only did he take good care of me with everything from my bowel routines to doing my hair... he was excellent! The bad news happened when the home healthcare agency that I was with got a wild hair (well, one of their employees did) up their butt and fired him one day *on the spot.* He left my house one morning after doing my care and told me he would see me that night to put me back to bed. Later that morning I got a call from the home healthcare agency saying that they had a change in my schedule and I was completely boggled. Then I got a personal call from my home health aide telling me what happened. They accused him of writing down a little too much mileage between patients. *No warning, no anything... just out the door when he went into the office to turn in paperwork after leaving me that morning.* What they do not realize, and what I have experienced several times since with home health care agencies, is that they WILL, *even on a tiny whim*, fire a great home health aide. How do I know they *are* great home health aides? They have worked with me with my more intense needs for two years and often more, they have never lied to me, they have never stolen anything from me, etc. etc. etc. 4) Since moving to Tucson 8 1/2 years ago ... I have not had a male home health aide besides my husband. Except for a fill-in about six years ago. He was a black man that was 52 years old but looked about 38 years old and a real go getter. Unfortunately he is way on the other side of town and the home health agency that I was with 6 years ago is long gone, etc. etc. etc. So I guess that is 4 male home health aides that I have had since my injury 30 years ago. Now where was I? Yes... being female and having 3 male aides that were all very good aides! Lori On Sat, Jan 2, 2010 at 9:19 AM, Tod E. Santee <[email protected]> wrote: > Hi Joan... > > Don't be too jealous... from what I understand it never lasts and it rarely > ends well!! > > But then again, there was one person that helped me out with some > "emergency" PCA Care when I first arrived in Tucson after my parents pulled > out to start driving back east. All because my previously arranged and > hired aide got arrested and jailed on a DUI the night before I arrived!!! > The person that volunteered to help me had never done personal care before > that --and hasn't worked for anyone else since. I was invited to the > family's Thanksgiving Dinner. AND NOW, we've been married since just over a > year since that time 20 years ago! (I still get to Thanksgiving, I'm in the > family Christmas gift exchange, and she still helps me out with PCA work in > a pinch. --for a price!!! {lol}) > > So, to keep with the Subject Line... Recommendation: Choose your help > wisely, use your SOLID gut instinct, and then marry the best! (LOL... Ok... > I'll admit that track might not work for everyone. But it DOES make for a > nice, "beginning-of-the-year," holiday story, eh?) > > Happy Oh-10, my Friends! > --Tod > > ---- Joan Anglin <[email protected]> wrote: > > OK guys that's enough-I'm downright jealous. Somehow it doesn't seem > fair > > that you guys have all the fun. Course I never tried a male PCA, nor do > I > > think I want to. J > > > > Happy new year to everyone > > > > Joan and very sunny Reno > > > > > > > > From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] > > Sent: Friday, January 01, 2010 7:33 PM > > To: [email protected]; [email protected] > > Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] RECOMMENDATIONS > > > > > > > > gives a whole new meaning to 'personal care' huh? also 'physical > therapy' > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > In a message dated 1/1/2010 8:25:26 P.M. US Mountain Standard Time, > > [email protected] writes: > > > > Back in the day, one of my friends who was in rehab fooled around > > with the nurses. Alas, I never had such luck in either rehab or > > college. However, I have had some very fun PCA's. :-) > > > > Dan > > > > > > At 09:23 PM 1/1/2010, Tod E. Santee said something that elicited my > > response: > > > > >Yep... my first stint away at college for a couple summer classes > > >introduced me to a personal care aide who was "curious" like that > > >about every male quad on campus! I just happened to be at the main > > >campus the state's VR system chose to suggest to all/most of its > > >clients. So she certainly had many of her pickins' grinnin', so to > > >speak. Funny thing was, I found out she had a boyfriend... big, > > >hulkin' muscular AB guy!! > > > > > >--Tod > > > > > >---- [email protected] wrote: > > > > Now that you mention this - at 19 I had a 28 yr old female P.T. who > was > > > > curious just what all was broken along with my neck. An > > > overnighter to her > > > > place revealed ALL was not lost - worn out, she took me back to the > > rehab > > > > hosp - smiling. > > > > AZDAVE > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > In a message dated 1/1/2010 3:45:14 P.M. US Mountain Standard Time, > > > > [email protected] writes: > > > > > > > > Hmmm... It was over 20 years ago but there was that one > "quad-hopping" > > > > chick in college. Maybe I shouldn't have said, "No Thanks." LOL! > > > > > > > > You GUYS must know I'm talking about, RIGHT? > > > > > > > > But how about you ladies? Are there "quad-hoppin'" men out there, > too, > > > > just looking for a young chick in a chair? > > > > > > > > Happy New Year O'-10! > > > > --Tod > > > > > > > > ---- [email protected] wrote: > > > > > Hi Guys~ > > > > > This site has helped me in soooo many ways.??Your your input is > > > > valued~more than you could ever know. > > > > > I am only 3 years post injury and the longer I read the > > > more questions I > > > > have.? At this point the following is most important: > > > > > ? > > > > > For those of you with more living experience as quads, what > > > would be the > > > > one thing you would do different > > > > > or maybe wish?you would have done/or not done over the years?? > > > > > ? > > > > > Fortunately I quit smoking before my accident and I no longer > drink > > > > alcohol~? > > > > > ? > > > > > THANK YOU AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!! > > > > > MANY BLESSINGS! > > > > > ? > > > > > Shelly > > > > > 3 years post > > > > > C6-C7 incomplete > > > > > ??? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- Lori Age - 45 C4/5 complete quad, nearly 30 years post Tucson, AZ
