Hi Bobby, Is there anyway for you to find a support group in your area for spinal cord injury people? I have dealt with a wound that won't heal for over two years. I'm supposed to be on bed rest, but the doctor is now worried that the sore won't go away so I am on light activity which means that I can get out of bed and into my wheel chair on my good days. I'm not supposed to spend a lot of time on my feet. So I try not to. I did cheat and go Christmas shopping last winter. I do go on errands for groceries if my body is willing and I am going somewhere I can ride an electric cart. Otherwise, I'm in the home. You have gone through a great deal. Your burning out and showing signs of depression, but I'm sure you know that by your post. The best way to fight depression is to get something to motivate or interest you. That can be anything from a hobby, to a club, to a pet, to a good book. I do a lot of reading. We have five pets. I also sew and craft when I can. Socializing can help, but sometimes when I place my faith in people, they can let me down. I hate hearing how I'm such an "inspiration" by people who are able to fully function and have no idea what I go through. I also have people who like to use me because I care. I hate being manipulated by those type of people. I had to go to a social gathering where one of the biggest users of my life appeared. The topic of discussion was about our favorite characters in books, shows, and movies. I listed some evil and selfish characters. The user said how she was surprised that I would list those type of characters because I am so sweet. I was very blunt and said that I am trying to be more like them so that I wouldn't have bitchy selfish people treat me like crap. I explained how I would have had to deal with so much less stress and abuse if I had not been so nice. She knew I was talking about her, everyone in the room did. No one knew what to say. I kept my eyes on her a bit longer and then turned to one of the quieter ones in the room that often get overlooked. I smiled at her and asked who her favorites were and why. The conversation continued and everyone fell back into the conversation, but I got my message out and that made me feel better. So for me, socializing isn't a big one, but that is because I have no one who knows or has had to deal with an SCI in my off-line world so sometimes, the stress is less if I am by myself. Once my wound is better or the doctor gives me the okay. I'll go back to my sewing clubs, church groups, and volunteer opportunities (sewing for charities). They don't know about my SCI or what I have to deal with, but I feel a sense of accomplishments sewing for others. My favorite is sewing pet quilts and blankets for the animal shelter. Animals aren't gossipy and are very behavior oriented and I need that. WIth our pets, they are spoiled and have their own personalities, but they don't back stab. They love attention and love treats and I can deal with that one my worst days. It is nice having someone (I really personify my little ones) thrilled to see me or spend time with me. I hope that you can find a solution. If you have a crisis line in your area, maybe you can call them to vent to have a safe person to talk to. They might even know of services or how to contact other quads in your area. I used to work on a crisis line and often people would call because they didn't know who to talk to or they had no one. Sometimes, it was easier for them to talk to a stranger that they didn't know than to talk to a friend or relative that they would have to continuously see.
Candle "Scars remind of us where we’ve been, they don’t have to dictate where we are going." ~David Rossi of Criminal Minds *********************************************************************** ________________________________ From: Bobbie Humphreys <[email protected]> To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 10:09 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] I need a friend Everybody, I use to have a few friends how were quads, about 5 near me. We could talk to each other good or bad ~ we were there for each other. Today all have either moved away or died. Dose anybody have any ideas as to how I can find another quad friend? I REALLY need to talk to a fellow quad, and soon. I just can't stop crying. I've been stuck in bed since February and am now starting to get up, but as strange as it may sound, I find it easier to stay in bed … I get into a routine. But once I start getting up it's in drubs and drabs. When I'm up and the weather is nice, I see everyday normal people doing all the things I can't. Or hearing about where they've been or where there going to be doing. I can't make plans. Every time I make plans for the near future, the rug can be pulled out from under me at a movements notice because of a goddam sore on my butt that is super fiscal but enough to ground me. I can only ride in my van once a week because the bumps in the road cause irritation on my butt. I use to drive but now I can't … same reason as I just mentioned. Pete is doing more and I'm doing less. I'm just existing, not LIVING. I want to die! Bobbie Sent from my iPad
