All:
Tuesday evening as I was about to go to bed, I turned on
the 10:00 pm news and of course saw the tragedy in
Colorado. Each time this sort of thing happens it gives
many of us cold chills and a wakeup call as well.
I have read many of the posts on this list this week and
would like to share some of my thoughts.
I do believe with many of you that this is a sign of the times.
Evil is rampant. As I drove to pick up my 13 year old son
from school on Wednesday afternoon, I was filled with
compassion for the families of the children in Colorado.
I could barely see to drive for the tears that were falling
from my eyes. You wonder how this happened and where
were the warning signs. You also begin to hope, pray and
think about whether you have done what you can to
safeguard your own children.
A number of our friends are homeschooling their children
in an attempt to protect them from the "world". We spend
a lot of money each month to send our sons to Christian,
private schools. We attend church regularly and are involved.
Does this guarantee us safety for our children? Absolutely
not.
I have two sons, 10 and 13. For as many years as I have had
them, I have been accused of being the parent in the church
who is "overprotective". My children go to maybe three
movies a year at the theater and we monitor what they
watch on TV. Until about 2 months ago, we had only ONE
TV in our home and that guaranteed that everyone watched
in the family room and we could easily see what was being
watched. (We have a small 9 inch TV that we use in our
suburban when we travel but it has made its way into the
house-- I am seriously thinking about removing it)
My 13 year old came home last week and told me that his
friends (Christian school friends--church going families) said
that his parent were too strict. My response: Maybe, but
all your friends parents let them come to our house because
they know they will be safe.
Our sons are allowed to close their bedroom doors when they
are home (no friends in the house) but are not allowed to lock
them. Internet access is allowed only with express permission
and the door must be opened so that I can at anytime stop
in and see what is being viewed. (With an open door, there is
no time to hide your actions). Doors must remain open when
there are other children in the house.
Know what your children's hobbies are. There should be no room
in your house or garage that you do not have access to. I wonder
why the parents did not know what was going on in their basement
in Colorado. Involve yourself with your children's hobbies even
if they are of no interest to you.
Know your children's friends and have them over to your house
frequently. Really get to know them. Before the Flood of 1998,
our home was the neighborhood hangout--yes, 6-12 boys in a
house can drive a mother crazy. A spotless house is not an
option-- that will come again when my sons are grown and
gone. Our small little house that we are renting until God supplies
a new home is still a hangout for my sons and their Ranger friends.
As a matter of fact, we will have several extra boys at our house
tonight. Space is cramped and they will be sleeping on sleeping
bags on the floor but they will have a good time anyway.
As I said before, for several years, I have been teased by youth pastors
as being overprotective and my boys think that they are being
kept from really having fun. Some days you want to give up and
give in--you feel like Moses when he needed to have some one
hold his arms up in battle. That's what we need to be doing for
each other on this list. We need to encourage and hold
each other up. Even with all of the precautions a parent takes,
some kids go astray but let's pray for each other and for the
children that we minister to.
It seems that "self-esteem" is a major problem for many
children these days, build your children up when you can.
Know what happened each day at school. Support your
children when you can in dealing with school problems.
For example, one year at school, my youngest son was
being put in the trashcan at school during restroom break
time and my oldest son was having his clothing hidden while
he was in PE Class. I waited until about 8:30 (School starts
at 8:00 am.) I went to the principal and told him that no one
know I had come to see him except for the secretary and
no one knew why except for me and him. I told him that my
sons did not know I was there and I did not want them to
know but that I expected the problem to be solved or I would
be back everyday until it was. The problem was solved immediately
and my sons did not know I had taken care of it and they
were not ridiculed or otherwise punished as the principal never
told the kids who had told on them. I know that my sons were
not the only ones being treated this way so everyone benefited.
Yes, it was childish fun but it also hurts those being teased.
At the beginning of this school year, a friend of mine, was hired
to be my son's science and math teacher. She was on his case
everyday about something. Because he was exceptionally bright
she wanted to "bring him down to earth" so to speak. I talked
with her several times in an attempt to solve the problems that
we were incurring--nothing worked. She made the children (15 of
them) sign a contract that we as parents were never to know about
and the children were instructed not to go home and complain about
her classes and all of them signed that they had been lying to
their parents and a number of other untrue admissions.
15 children signed the papers (which were kep secret from the
administration) and only one child told their parents. I waited
about a week before asking another parent about the "contract".
She had not heard a word about it from her two sons. As
soon as she approached her youngest son about it, he broke
into tears and said that he was forced to sign it. I asked
my son (Ryan) why he signed it when it contained lies and
he confessed to things he did not do--simple PEER PRESSURE-
everyone else did and he did not want them to be mad at him.
This is a very long story but a third parent then found out about
the contract and demanded to see a copy. The teacher
stayed for two more months and life was miserable for
my son and his friends. Eventually, she was fired and I lost
a friend but I kept my son and he knows that we will do
what we can to help him when he is truly in a situation that
he is unable to handle. Simple point to the story is to
STAND UP WITH AND FOR YOUR CHILDREN even if it
costs you. My "friend" has not spoken to me in over four
months but my son loves me and he is the most important
person that I dealt with in this situation.
I am sorry that I am rambling on but I think we have a lot
to think about and we really need each other. We need to
encourage our children to make an effort to include as many
as possible in their "group". There should be no cliques
in Rangers either in leaders or boys. It destroys lives, souls,
outposts and even churches. It is time to really embrace and
demonstrate God's love even to those who are different
from us or "rub us the wrong way."
Not all of America's youth has gone astray. Following the flood
in October, we were blessed with Rangers and their Families
we helped us by helping clean our home and belongings and
by bring us food and money and loaning us furniture, clothing
and whatever we needed. The Texas Lutheran Football team
and Basketball team went out into the neighborhoods and
clean people's houses and belonging for them. When the
basketball team got through with my garage, I was amazed
at the excellent job that they had done. A group of students
from Southwestern Assemblies of God College spent
spring break in Cuero, Texas cleaning up from the flood. Over
50% of the people in Cuero lost property and homes. Many
were farmers who lost most of their livestock. A large
group of students from the University of Wisconsin spent
spring break in out city helping total strangers recover. Thanks
to them our city is a little cleaner and a little further on the
road to recover. Four churches in the city hosted and feed
these young people while they were here.
Go to go for now, God Bless You All,
Sandy Reneau
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