[JOKES] God More
- Ìàìî, à áîã êàêúâ å, ìúæ èëè æåíà? - Áîã å åäíîâðåìåííî è ìúæ è æåíà, òîé íå å ñ îïðåäåëåí ïîë. - Ìàìî, à òîé áÿë ëè å, èëè ÷åðåí? - Áîã, ñèíêî, å åäíîâðåìåííî è ÷åðåí è áÿë. - Ìàìî, à òîé ñ õîìî èëè ñ õåòåðîñåêñóàëíè íàêëîííîñòè å? - Òè ïúê! Òîé îáè÷à åäíàêâî è ìúæåòå è æåíèòå, è äåöàòà. - Àõà, ðàçáðàõ! Áîã - òîâà å Ìàéêúë Äæåêñúí *** Ïðèíåñ ÷óê÷à àíàëèçû â ïîëèêëèíèêó. Âûòàñêèâàåò 3-õ ëèòðîâóþ áàíêó ìî÷è. Åìó ìåäñåñòðà: - Òû áû åùå ÷åìîäàí ãîâíà ïðèíåñ ! ×óê÷à (äîñòàâàÿ èç-çà ñïèíû ÷åìîäàí): - Òàê è çíàë, ÷òî ïîíàäîáèòñÿ !
[JOKES] Natural Healthy
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Everytime we're in bed and my husband reaches a climax, he lets out an outrageous yell." "My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural and healthy, so what's the problem?" "The problem is, " she complained, "It wakes me up!"
[JOKES] Fw: Programmer
Programmer.zip
[JOKES] coffee
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his firstday, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me acoffee, quickly!"The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed thewrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?""No," replied the trainee."It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!"The trainee shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, youfool?""No." replied the Managing Director indignantly."Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.
[JOKES] past future secret :-)))
Enjoy... Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED][EMAIL PROTECTED]_ The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it. Colin Wilson msphone.jpg
[JOKES] Marriage
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be theunion of a deaf man to a blind woman. -Samuel Taylor Coleridge
[JOKES] See the photo :-)))
http://www.healthcentral.com/news/newsfulltext.cfm?id=35438StoryType=Reuter
[JOKES] music
Êîãàòî íà ãîòèí ÷îâåê ìó å êîôòè - òîâà å áëóñ...Êîãàòî íà êîôòè ÷îâåê ìó å ãîòèíî - òîâà å ÷àëãà... Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED][EMAIL PROTECTED]_ The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it. Colin Wilson
[JOKES] similarity
Q: What do sex in a canoe and Heineken beer have in common? A: "Too close to water!"
[JOKES] Starost
Dvama starci si govoryat: - Da ti se oplacha, moyta pishka ot 5 godini ne mi stava! Drugiyat: - Iii, da chukna da darvo, moyta samo ot 2! Boyan Konstantinov [EMAIL PROTECTED] _ Don't confuse madness with loss of control. Paolo Coelho =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] CV
Izvadka ot edno istinsko CV: --- "Computer and Internet skills:Design and publishing of single user oriented web sites" - :-)) ==Boyan KonstantinovSoftware engineerSofia IT Lab[EMAIL PROTECTED]==
[JOKES] Fw: ot mim
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00. A policeman, saw the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. About that time another car passed with a sign on top of it saying, JESUS SAVES. They asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, Well, that's a little different, it pertains to religion. So the two ladies took their sign down and took off. The following day found the cop was in the same area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them. That's when he noticed the new sign which read : TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER -- $50.00. -- Things Only A Mom Can Teach You: ** My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION -- Just wait until your father gets home. ** My Mother taught me about RECEIVING -- You are going to get it when we get home! ** My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE -- What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you ... Don't talk back to me! ** My Mother taught me AGRICULTURE -- If you don't stop swallowing those seeds you're going to have watermelons growing out your nose. ** My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD -- If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job. ** My Mother taught me ESP -- Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold? ** My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT -- If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up. ** My Mother taught me about SEX -- How do you think you got here? ** My Mother taught me about GENETICS -- You're just like your father. ** My Mother taught me about my ROOTS -- Do you think you were born in a barn? ** My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE -- When you get to be my age, you will understand. ** My Mother taught me about JUSTICE -- One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you... Then you'll see what it's like. ** My Mother taught me LOGIC -- If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me. ** My Mother taught me HUMOR -- When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it. When did you use this awful language? asks the Mother Superior. Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards. But it struck a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight to the ground after going only about 100 yards. Is that when you swore? No, Mother, says the nun. After that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away. Is THAT when you swore? asks the Mother Superior again. Well, no, says the nun. You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away! Is THAT when you swore? asks the amazed Mother Superior. No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball. Did you swear THEN? asks the Mother Superior, becoming impatient. No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green and stopped about six inches from the hole. The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then the Mother Superior sighed and said, You missed the *** putt, didn't you? What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A priest rolling down the stairs. Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Lady 1: What's that? Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Lady 1: Where did you get it? Lady 2: You can get one at any drugstore. The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself down to the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 yearsof age), but politely asks what brand she prefers. Lady 1: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Italians
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one last time. You foul-mouthed swine!! retorted the lady indignantly. In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!! Hey, coola down lady, said the man. who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Club Vtori S#prug
Íà åäíî ïàðòè ñå ñðåùàò áèâøèÿò è íàñòîÿùèÿò ñúïðóçè íà åäíà äàìà. Ñëåä íÿêîëêî ïèòèåòà áèâøèÿò ðåøèë äà ñå çàÿäå è ïîïèòàë íîâèÿ: - Å, êàê ñå ÷óâñòâàòå ïðè óïîòðåáàòà íà ñòîêà âòîðà ðúêà? Íà êîåòî íîâèÿò îòãîâîðèë: - Å, ñëåä êàòî ìèíåø ïúðâèòå 6 ñì âñè÷êî å êàòî ÷èñòî íîâî! [EMAIL PROTECTED]_"Don't confuse madness with loss of control." Paulo Coelho
[JOKES] Crime
Ñòóäåíò ñå ÿâÿâà íà èçïèò ïî ñîöèîëîãèÿ. Ïðåïîäàâàòåëÿò ãî ïèòà: - Êàæåòå ìè, ñïîðåä âàñ, â íàøè äíè ïðåñòúïíîñòòà ïàäà ëè èëè ñå óâåëè÷àâà? Ñòóäåíòúò ñëåä êðàòúê ðàçìèñúë îòãîâàðÿ: - Ïàäà, ðàçáèðà ñå! Ïî âðåìåòî íà Êàéí è Àâåë å áèëà 50%... Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]_ Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays.Clutch it, and it darts away. Dorothy Parker
[JOKES] Airport
attachment: airport.jpg
[JOKES] Mesmerism
Znamenit amerikanski hipnotizator izliza pred dvehilqdna publika. Toi zastava v sredata na stsenata, gleda vtrencheno v publikata i kazva: - Dance! Vsichki stavat i zapochvat da tantsuvat. - Cry!! Vsichki spirat da tantsuvat i zapochvat da plachat. - Laugh!Vsichki zapochvat da se smeqt. V tova vreme edna ot stoikite za mikrofoni s gr#m i trqs#k pada na stsenata. Hipnotizator#t se sepva i kazva: - Shit! ... Posle dve sedmitsi ne mogli da izmiqt zalata.
[JOKES] deadlines
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. -- Douglas Adams
[JOKES] Bulgarian sayings in English
http://web.dir.bg/miroslav/lafove.html Bulgarian Lafs in English.url
[JOKES] Fw: Sysadmin's Diary
Åäíà ñåäìèöà íà sysadmin-a MONDAY 8:05 Îáàäè ñå ïîòðåáèòåë ÷å ñè å çàáðàâèë ïàðîëàòà. Êaçàõ ìó äà èçïîëçâà ïðîãðàìàòà çà âúçñòàíîâàâÿâàíå íà ïàðîëàòà íàðå÷åíà FDISK. Áëàæåííî íåâåæ, òîé ìè áëàãîäàðè è çàòâîðè. Áîæå è òåçè õîðà ãëàñóâàò è øîôèðàò? 8:12 Ñ÷åòîâîäèòåëêàòà ñå îáàäè äà ìè êàæå ÷å íå âèæäà áàçàòà äàííè ñ ðàçõîäèòå. Äàâàì è ñòàíäàðòíèÿ îòãîâîð íà Ñóïåðâàéçîðà No 112 Äîáðå, íî òîâà ðàáîòè ïðè ìåí?. Íåêà ñå ïåíè è áóéñòâà äîêàòî èçêëþ÷à êàôåìàøèíàòà îò UPS-à è âêëþ÷à îáðàòíî ñúðâúðà. Ñúâåòâàì ÿ äà îïèòà îòíîâî. Îùå åäèí äîâîëåí ïîòðåáèòåë. 8:14 Ïîòðåáèòåëÿ îò 8:05 ñå îáàäè è êàçà ÷å èìà ñúîáùåíèå Error accessing Drive 0. Êàçàõ ìó ÷å òîâà å ïðîáëåì íà îïåðàöèîííàòà ñèñòåìà. Ïðåõâúðëèõ ãî íà ïîäðúæêàòà íà Microsoft. 11:00 Îòíîñèòåëíî ñïîêîéñòâèå çà ïîñëåäíèòå íÿêîëêî ÷àñà. Ðåøàâàì äà âêëþ÷à òåëåôîíà , çà äà ñå îáàäÿ íà ïðèÿòåëêàòà ñè. Êàçâàì è ÷å ðîäèòåëèòå ìè ùå äîéäàò â ãðàäà çà óèêåíäà.. Êàçàõ è äà ïî÷àêà è ÿ ïðåõâúðëèõ íà ïîðòèåðñêèÿ êèëåð â ñóòåðåíà. Êàêâî ñè ìèñëè? Íàöèîíàëíèòå èãðè ïî Myst è Doom ñà òóê òîçè óèêåíä. 11:34 Äðóã ïîòðåáèòåë çâúíè (íå ñå ëè íàó÷èõà âå÷å). Êàçâà ÷å èñêà ACL íà HR äà ñå ñìåíè çàùîòî íèêîé îñâåí HR ìîæå äà äîñòúïâà áàçàòà. Êàçàõ ìó ÷å íÿìà ïðîáëåì. Çàòâîðèõ. Ñìåíèõ ACL. Äîáàâèõ @MailSend òàêà ÷å äà ñå èçïðàùà äo */US. 12:00 Îáÿä 3:30 Âðúùàíå îò îáÿä 3:55 Ñúáóæäàíå îò äðÿìêàòà. Ëîøèÿ ñúí ìå ïðàâè ðàçäðàçíèòåëåí. Ðèòíàõ ñúðâúðèòå áåç ïðè÷èíà. Ïàê çàäðÿìàõ. 4:23 Îùå åäèí ïîòðåáèòåë çâúíè. Èñêà äà çíàå êàê äà ñè ñìåíè øðèôòà íà ôîðìàòà. Ïèòàõ ãî êàêúâ ×èïñåò èçïîëçâà. Äà ñå îáàäè êàòî ãî íàìåðè. 4:55 pm Ðåøàâàì äà èçïúëíÿ Create Save/Replication Conflicts ìàêðîñà ÷å ñëåäâàùàòà ñìÿíà äà èìà êàêâî äà ïðàâè TUESDAY 8:30 Çàâúðøèõ ÷åòåíåòî íà ëîãà îò ïîñëåäíàòà íîù. Óæàñíî ìíîãî âðåìå ìè îòíå çà Save/Replication êîíôëèêòè. 9:00 am Øåôà íà ïîääðúæêà ïðèñòèãíà. Èñêà äà äèñêóòèðàìå ìîåòî îòíîøåíèå êúì õîðàòà. Êëèêíè âúðõó PhoneNotes SmartIcon. Çà íèùî íà ñâåòà, ìíîãî ñúì çàåò. Ñëîæè ãî â êàëåíäàðà?. Èçêðåùÿâàì àç âçåìàì íÿêîëêî îò÷åòà , êîèòî (ìèñòåðèîçíî) èç÷åçâàò.. Òðúãâà ñè ìúðìîðåéêè. 9:35 am Øåôåêèï-à îò RD èñêà ñúçäàâàíåòî íà íîâ ïîòðåáèòåë. Êàçàõ ìó ÷å ñå íóæäàå îò îò ôîðìà J-19R=9C9\\DARR\K1. Êàçâà ÷å íèêîãà íå áèë ÷óâàë çà òàêàâà ôîðìà.. Îòãîâîðèõ ìó ÷å òÿ å â áàçàòà äàííè SPECIAL FORMS. Ðàçïðàâÿ, ÷å íèêîãà íå å ÷óâàë çà òàêàâà áàçà. Ïðåõâúðëèõ ãî íà ïîðòèåðñêèÿ êèëåð â ñóòåðåíà. 10:00 am Íàïåðåí æåíñêè ãëàñ îò RD èñêà íîâ ïîòðåáèòåë. Êàçàõ è ÷å ñå íóæäàÿ îò íîìåðà é, äåïàðòàìåíòà, èìåòî íà øåôà é, ñåìåéíîòî ïîëîæåíèå. Ñòàðòèðàõ @DbLookup â ïàðîëèòå, áàçàòà íà Öåíòúðà ïî êîíòðîë íà çàðàçèòå, è ìîÿòà ëè÷íà áàçà. Íÿìà ïîïàäåíèÿ. Êàçàõ è ÷å îïîòðåáèòåëÿ ùå è áúäå ãîòîâ äî äîâå÷åðà. Ïðèïîìíÿéêè ñè óðîêà îò ïîñëåäíàòà ñåäìèöà Âçàèìîîòíîøåíèÿ ñ êëèåíòè, àç è ïðåäëîæèõ ïåðñîíàëíî äà è äîñòàâÿ ïîòðåáèòåëÿ äî àïàðòàìåíòà é. 10:07 am Ïîðòèåðà ìå ñïðÿ è ìè êàçà ÷å âîäè ñòðàííè ðàçãîâîðè â êèëåðà â ñóòåðåíà. Ïðåäëîæèõ ìó äà òðåíèðà ñ Notes. Çàïî÷âà âåäíàãà. Íåêà ãëåäà êîíçîëàòà äîêàòî èçïóøà öèãàðà. 1:00 pm Âúðíàõ ñå îò ïî÷èâêàòà çà öèãàðà. Ïîðòèåðà êàçà ÷å òåëåôîíà ïðîäúëæèòåëíî çâúíÿë , íî òîé ãè ïðåõâúðëÿë íà ìîìè÷åòî îò êàôåòî. Îáè÷àì ãî òîâà ìîì÷å. 1:05 pm Ãîëÿìî âúëíåíèå! Ñúïîðò ìåíàäæåðà ïàäíàë â äóïêàòà êîÿòî ñå ïîëó÷è ñëåä êàòî èçâàäèõ ïëî÷êèòå ïðåä âðàòàòà íà îôèñà. Íàáëåãíàõ êîëêî å âàæíî äà íå áÿãàø â êîìïþòúðíàòà çàëà äîðè è àêî âèêàì Î ãîñïîäè - ïîæàð 1:15 pm Development Standards Committee ñå îáàäèõà è ñå îïëàêàõà çà íÿêàêâî ïðåèìåíóâàíå íà èìåíàòà íà ôîðìèòå. Èñêàéêè èçâèíåíèå çà íåóäîáñòâîòî èì êàçàõ ÷å ùå ãè îïðàâÿ. Çàòâîðèõ è ñòàðòèðàõ ãëîáàëíî search/replace using *. 1:20 pm Ìåðè Õàðíåò îò êàôåòî ñå îáàäè. Êàçà ÷å ïðîäúëæàâà äà âîäè ðàçãîâîðè çà Notice Loads èëè NoLoad Goats, íå áèëà ñèãóðíà, íå ìîæåëà äà ÷óâà ïîðàäè èíäóñòðèëíèÿ øóì. Êàçàõ è ÷å ìîæå áè ñòàâà âúïðîñ çà Lettuce Nodes. Ìîæå áè äèñòðèáóòîðà íà õðàíèòåëíè ïðîäóêòè èìà íîâ àðòèêóë? Áëàãîäàðè è çàòâîðè. 2:00 pm Þðèñòêàòà ñå îáàäè äà êàæå ÷å ñè çàãóáèëà ïàðîëàòà. Êàçàõ è äà ïðîâåðè â ïîðòìîíåòî ñè, íà ïîäà íà êîëàòà, è â áàíÿòà. Êàçàõ è çà ðàäèîàêòèâíî èçëú÷âàíå îòçàä íà êîìïþòúðà. Ïðåäëîæèõ è äà ñëîæè òðúáè íà âñè÷êè îòâåðñòâèÿ, êîèòî íàìåðè íà êîìïþòúðà. Íåîõîòíî è íàïðàâèõ íîâ ïîòðåáèòåë âúïðåêè ÷å íå èñêàøå. 2:49 pm Ïîðòèåðà ïàê äîéäå.Èñêàøå îùå óðîöè. Èçìúêíàõ ñå çà îñòàòúêà îò äåíÿ. WEDNESDAY 8:30 am Ñúðäèò ïîòðåáèòåë ñå äà êàæå ÷å ÷èïñåòà íÿìà íèùî îáùî ñ øðèôòà íà ôîðìàòà. Êàçàõ ìó åñòåñòâåíî ÷å å òðÿáâàëî äà ïðîâåðè Bitset, íå chipset. Ãëóïàâèÿ ïîòðåáèòåë ñå èçâèíè è çàòâîðè. 9:10am Support ìåíàäæåðà, ñ ãèïñèðàí êðàê, ñå âúðíà â îôèñà. Íàñðî÷è çà 10:00am ñðåùà ñ ìåí. Ïîòðåáèòåë ñå îáàäè è èñêà äà ãîâîðè çà ñ íåãî çà óæàñíèÿ ñúïîðò. Êàçàõ ìó, ÷å ìåíàäæåðà èìà ñðåùà. Ïîíÿêîãà æèâîòà òè äàâà ìàòåðèàë íàïðàâî â ðúöåòå... 10:00 am Èçâèêàõ Ëóè îò ñóòåðåíà äà ìå ïîêðèå. Îòèâàì â
[JOKES] ad
adv468x60.gif
[JOKES] izkazvane na Delphi-iskiq orakul :-)
delphierr.bmp Description: Windows bitmap
[JOKES] cinema
Äâàìà ãåéìúðè îòèâàò íà êèíî. Ôèëìúò å "Ïðèøúëåöúò". Â íàé-íàïðåãíàòèÿìîìåíò, êîãàòî ãåðîèíÿòà îùå ìàëêî è ùå áúäå èçÿäåíà îò Ïðèøúëåöà åäèíèÿò ñåïðîâèêâà:- ÑÅÉÂÍÈ ÑÀ ÌÀ, ÑÅÉÂÍÈ ÑÀ!
[JOKES] Joke it is
Ñ èçíàìèðàíåòî íà ÷åêîâèòå ñóìè, íà ïðîãðàìèòå çà êîðåêöèÿ è àðõèâèðàíå EE Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]_ The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it. Colin Wilson
[JOKES] Thrill of the hunt
Ñêèíàð ñåäè íà ïîêðèâà íà âèñîêà ñãðàäà. Äî íåãî ïóøêà òèï "ïîìïà" ñ îïòè÷åñêè ìåðíèê è òîðáà òðåâà. Ñêèíàðÿò ïîäïèðà ïîìïàòà íà ðàìîòî ñè, ïðèöåëâà ñå, áúðêà â òîðáàòà ñ òðåâàòà, õâàùà åäíà ñòèñêà, ïðîòÿãà ðúêà íàä òðîòîàðà è ñòðèâà òðåâàòà: - Õèïè-õèïè-õèïè-õèïè
[JOKES] Pregnancy
Pet#rcho razkazva na Ivancho: - Samo da znaesh, mama beshe bremenna izv#nmatochno i izvadiha bebeto prez korema. Ivancho: - A maika mi p#k beshe zabremenqla izv#ntatochno i tate i go izkara prez nosa. Boyan Konstantinov [EMAIL PROTECTED] _ Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. Dorothy Parker =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] what does SIRMA mean? :-)
http://www.brunching.com/cgi/toy-cyborger.cgi?acronym=sirma
[JOKES] Oh, those Americans :-)
http://www.coolspyproducts.com/cyberdetective/ ==Boyan KonstantinovSoftware engineerSofia IT Lab[EMAIL PROTECTED]==
[JOKES] Ecology
"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs." -- Rodney Lee ==Boyan KonstantinovSoftware engineerSofia IT Lab[EMAIL PROTECTED]==
[JOKES] Simpatqga
http://bg.metavisia.com/projects/roadrunner/roadrunner.html Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]_Much Madness is divinest SenseTo a discerning EyeMuch Sense--the starkest Madness. -Emily Dickinson
[JOKES] Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 19:52:47 +0200
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Konstantinov;Boyan FN:Boyan Konstantinov ORG:Sofia IT Lab TITLE:Software engineer TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407 ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia 1116=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL: URL:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ BDAY:19760306 KEY;X509;ENCODING=BASE64: MIICIDCCAYmgAwIBAgILAQAA6k8Uq9cwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQAwXTELMAkGA1UEBhMC QkUxGTAXBgNVBAoTEEdsb2JhbFNpZ24gbnYtc2ExEzARBgNVBAsTCkNsYXNzIDEgQ0ExHjAc BgNVBAMTFUdsb2JhbFNpZ24gQ2xhc3MgMSBDQTAeFw0wMTExMjExMzI1MDFaFw0wMTEyMjEx MzI1MDFaMEQxHTAbBgNVBAMUFGJveWFuQHNvZmlhaXRsYWIuY29tMSMwIQYJKoZIhvcNAQkB FhRib3lhbkBzb2ZpYWl0bGFiLmNvbTBcMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUAA0sAMEgCQQC87kuoJXYp +xUaDoGSvMlVKqALCOhl0vSiOWZ2HUml2K7qQh3EyuJU0sTU4Lin5+GYFDxDbOMiUXXe+qBv OaovAgMBAAGjQzBBMBEGCWCGSAGG+EIBAQQEAwIFoDALBgNVHQ8EBAMCBPAwHwYDVR0jBBgw FoAUDtzwuxI83fpgp48nCpunLn5zaZowDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAN3V3KOUeHb8kE+6i ihKq0QyhMyP+3+lWzFDT5Ru/oP6qbeBH1xtxr/sInDjG6AVeHKFCNtZaUP8vTtpiWH3qE4Zm wwGK/in9zXJzpRZ7yAOD1DxAstySgf71U9cficdOlLHkfc3ffFs9qEZoB15+JDvLDgzSZ0ZS 2/MTJG5gdKM= EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011228T175247Z END:VCARD attachment: cuteone.jpg
[JOKES] AI?
http://free.bol.bg/simeonsk/
[JOKES] Block Clock
http://yugop.com/ver3/stuff/29/bclock.html
[JOKES] Re: 330 Java Programming tips
The 331st tip : Watch out for such things on a production environment :-) attachment: jadcentral.JPG
Re: [JOKES] Re: 330 Java Programming tips
333: znam, vidqh go sled tova, i vse pak e dobre da ne gr#mne chak taka ;-) - Original Message - From: borislav popov [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: Boyan Konstantinov [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Wednesday, January 16, 2002 9:40 AM Subject: Re: [JOKES] Re: 330 Java Programming tips 332nd tip : url-a prosto e na dva reda :lipsva D=146 The 331st tip : Watch out for such things on a production environment :-) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Vremeto dnes :-))
za spravka: http://www.post.bg i http://www.post.bg/weather/ attachment: weather.jpg
[JOKES] email detector na l#jata :-))
http://news.dir.bg/index.php?url=feature.php%3Fid%3D15005 Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]-- Oh, the wind, it is a song that harbours through the winterOh, the sail, it is a door that bids the song to enterAnd let us sail the sea, good friend, and let us sing togetherThe singer lasts a season long, while the song it lasts forever
[JOKES] FW: Joke
Чайник - начинаещ потребител, ненастъпил още мотиката и затова уверен, че мотики не съществуват. Леймър - потребител, редовно настъпващ мотиките, но продължаващ да вярва, че мотики не съществуват. Тесен специалист - потребител, овладял до съвършенство настъпването на едни и същи мотики. Широк специалист - потребител, имащ на челото си две или повече цицини. Програмист - този, за когото при настъпването на мотиките е най-важен резултата. Понеже му е омръзнало да настъпва чуждите мотики, прави свои собствени. Напреднал програмист - програмист, настъпващ дадена мотика не повече от два пъти. Копирайт - концепция, ограничаваща броя на достъпните за настъпване мотики според финансовите възможности на потребителя. Геймър- този, за когото при настъпването на мотиките най-важен е самия процес. Обикновено не може да произвежда собствени мотики. Чийтър - разновидност на геймъра, настъпва само мотики с дунапренови калъфки на дръжката и обикновено само по веднъж. Хакер - този, който е способен да настъпи мотиката даже ако е затворена в барака и заключена с катинар. Хакер-идеалист - благороден борец за правото всеки да може да настъпи неограничен брой мотики. Microsoft - корпорация, световен лидер в производството на мотики. Бил Гейтс - митично същество от програмисткия фолклор; зъл дух, покровител на мотиките. Ъпгрейд - процес на непрекъснато харчене на пари за нови мотики, всяка от които удря още по-силно от предишната. Бета-версия - версия, в която мотиките се виждат с невъоръжено око. Релийз - версия, в която мотиките са покрити със шума. Съвместимост на версиите - принцип, позволяващ новите мотики да ви нацелват точно по цицината от предишните. Асемблер - език за програмиране, позволяващ да настъпваш мотиката няколко милиона пъти в секунда. Локална мрежа - технология, позволяваща да бъдеш праснат по челото даже когато мотиката е настъпил някой друг. Интернет - технология, позволяваща да настъпваш мотики на другата страна на земното кълбо. Мрежова конференция - технология, позволяваща на всеки да настъпва не само своите, а и чуждите мотики. Кирилишки кодировки - подаръчен комплект мотики за потребителите на интернет. Приятелски интерфейс - гумена облицовка на дръжката на мотиката. Гъвкав (настройваем) интерфейс - облицовка на дръжката на мотиката, която можеш да нагодиш по височината на челото си. Графичен интерфейс - мотика с регулировка на цвета и силата на искрите, които ще видиш след като те прасне по челото. Ненадеждна система - мотика, които ви бие по челото даже и тогава, когато не сте я настъпили. Надеждна система - мотика, които ви бие точно по челото даже и тогава, когато сте с гръб към нея. Многозадачност - концепция, позволяваща да настъпиш няколко мотики едновременно. Обектно-ориентирано програмиране - метод за производство на мотики на принципа на матрьошките. Мануал (ръководство) - книга, описваща различните начини за настъпване на мотиката. Никога не се ползва от ламерите и хакерите. Напредналите програмисти я използват сред като настъпят мотиката втори път. Техническа поддръжка - служба, която дава съвети какво да се прави след настъпване на мотиката. Обикновено първият и съвет е да настъпиш мотиката пак и да сравниш усещанията.
[JOKES] RTFM :-)
http://www.microsoft.com[EMAIL PROTECTED]/nyheter/feb01/Q209354%20-%20HOWTO.htm ==Boyan KonstantinovSoftware engineerSofia IT Lab[EMAIL PROTECTED]== BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Konstantinov;Boyan FN:Boyan Konstantinov NICKNAME:Phaethon ORG:Sofia IT Lab TITLE:Software engineer TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407 ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia 1116=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;HOME:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ URL;WORK:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ BDAY:19760306 KEY;X509;ENCODING=BASE64: MIICIDCCAYmgAwIBAgILAQAA6k8Uq9cwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQAwXTELMAkGA1UEBhMC QkUxGTAXBgNVBAoTEEdsb2JhbFNpZ24gbnYtc2ExEzARBgNVBAsTCkNsYXNzIDEgQ0ExHjAc BgNVBAMTFUdsb2JhbFNpZ24gQ2xhc3MgMSBDQTAeFw0wMTExMjExMzI1MDFaFw0wMTEyMjEx MzI1MDFaMEQxHTAbBgNVBAMUFGJveWFuQHNvZmlhaXRsYWIuY29tMSMwIQYJKoZIhvcNAQkB FhRib3lhbkBzb2ZpYWl0bGFiLmNvbTBcMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUAA0sAMEgCQQC87kuoJXYp +xUaDoGSvMlVKqALCOhl0vSiOWZ2HUml2K7qQh3EyuJU0sTU4Lin5+GYFDxDbOMiUXXe+qBv OaovAgMBAAGjQzBBMBEGCWCGSAGG+EIBAQQEAwIFoDALBgNVHQ8EBAMCBPAwHwYDVR0jBBgw FoAUDtzwuxI83fpgp48nCpunLn5zaZowDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAN3V3KOUeHb8kE+6i ihKq0QyhMyP+3+lWzFDT5Ru/oP6qbeBH1xtxr/sInDjG6AVeHKFCNtZaUP8vTtpiWH3qE4Zm wwGK/in9zXJzpRZ7yAOD1DxAstySgf71U9cficdOlLHkfc3ffFs9qEZoB15+JDvLDgzSZ0ZS 2/MTJG5gdKM= EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020129T113651Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Oda
http://www.crosswinds.net/~sfictionbg/autors/raznibozi/Oda_prog.htm Boyan Konstantinov [EMAIL PROTECTED] -- Wandering in the deep of the night A thousand birds take flight And our dreams are born On the wings of change We are weaving the world tonight BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Konstantinov;Boyan FN:Boyan Konstantinov NICKNAME:Phaethon ORG:Sofia IT Lab TITLE:Software engineer TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407 ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia 1116=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;HOME:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ URL;WORK:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ BDAY:19760306 KEY;X509;ENCODING=BASE64: MIICIDCCAYmgAwIBAgILAQAA6k8Uq9cwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQAwXTELMAkGA1UEBhMC QkUxGTAXBgNVBAoTEEdsb2JhbFNpZ24gbnYtc2ExEzARBgNVBAsTCkNsYXNzIDEgQ0ExHjAc BgNVBAMTFUdsb2JhbFNpZ24gQ2xhc3MgMSBDQTAeFw0wMTExMjExMzI1MDFaFw0wMTEyMjEx MzI1MDFaMEQxHTAbBgNVBAMUFGJveWFuQHNvZmlhaXRsYWIuY29tMSMwIQYJKoZIhvcNAQkB FhRib3lhbkBzb2ZpYWl0bGFiLmNvbTBcMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUAA0sAMEgCQQC87kuoJXYp +xUaDoGSvMlVKqALCOhl0vSiOWZ2HUml2K7qQh3EyuJU0sTU4Lin5+GYFDxDbOMiUXXe+qBv OaovAgMBAAGjQzBBMBEGCWCGSAGG+EIBAQQEAwIFoDALBgNVHQ8EBAMCBPAwHwYDVR0jBBgw FoAUDtzwuxI83fpgp48nCpunLn5zaZowDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAN3V3KOUeHb8kE+6i ihKq0QyhMyP+3+lWzFDT5Ru/oP6qbeBH1xtxr/sInDjG6AVeHKFCNtZaUP8vTtpiWH3qE4Zm wwGK/in9zXJzpRZ7yAOD1DxAstySgf71U9cficdOlLHkfc3ffFs9qEZoB15+JDvLDgzSZ0ZS 2/MTJG5gdKM= EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020222T114107Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] The value
http://www.funmunch.com/humor/enlarge/time.swf Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]-- Wandering in the deep of the nightA thousand birds take flightAnd our dreams are bornOn the wings of changeWe are weaving the world tonight BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Konstantinov;Boyan FN:Boyan Konstantinov NICKNAME:Phaethon ORG:Sofia IT Lab TITLE:Software engineer TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407 ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia 1116=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;HOME:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ URL;WORK:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ BDAY:19760306 KEY;X509;ENCODING=BASE64: MIICIDCCAYmgAwIBAgILAQAA6k8Uq9cwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQAwXTELMAkGA1UEBhMC QkUxGTAXBgNVBAoTEEdsb2JhbFNpZ24gbnYtc2ExEzARBgNVBAsTCkNsYXNzIDEgQ0ExHjAc BgNVBAMTFUdsb2JhbFNpZ24gQ2xhc3MgMSBDQTAeFw0wMTExMjExMzI1MDFaFw0wMTEyMjEx MzI1MDFaMEQxHTAbBgNVBAMUFGJveWFuQHNvZmlhaXRsYWIuY29tMSMwIQYJKoZIhvcNAQkB FhRib3lhbkBzb2ZpYWl0bGFiLmNvbTBcMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUAA0sAMEgCQQC87kuoJXYp +xUaDoGSvMlVKqALCOhl0vSiOWZ2HUml2K7qQh3EyuJU0sTU4Lin5+GYFDxDbOMiUXXe+qBv OaovAgMBAAGjQzBBMBEGCWCGSAGG+EIBAQQEAwIFoDALBgNVHQ8EBAMCBPAwHwYDVR0jBBgw FoAUDtzwuxI83fpgp48nCpunLn5zaZowDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAN3V3KOUeHb8kE+6i ihKq0QyhMyP+3+lWzFDT5Ru/oP6qbeBH1xtxr/sInDjG6AVeHKFCNtZaUP8vTtpiWH3qE4Zm wwGK/in9zXJzpRZ7yAOD1DxAstySgf71U9cficdOlLHkfc3ffFs9qEZoB15+JDvLDgzSZ0ZS 2/MTJG5gdKM= EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020308T143042Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] heart attack
A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine, and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Konstantinov;Boyan FN:Boyan Konstantinov NICKNAME:Phaethon ORG:Sofia IT Lab TITLE:Software engineer TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407 ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia 1116=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;HOME:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ URL;WORK:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ BDAY:19760306 KEY;X509;ENCODING=BASE64: MIICIDCCAYmgAwIBAgILAQAA6k8Uq9cwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQAwXTELMAkGA1UEBhMC QkUxGTAXBgNVBAoTEEdsb2JhbFNpZ24gbnYtc2ExEzARBgNVBAsTCkNsYXNzIDEgQ0ExHjAc BgNVBAMTFUdsb2JhbFNpZ24gQ2xhc3MgMSBDQTAeFw0wMTExMjExMzI1MDFaFw0wMTEyMjEx MzI1MDFaMEQxHTAbBgNVBAMUFGJveWFuQHNvZmlhaXRsYWIuY29tMSMwIQYJKoZIhvcNAQkB FhRib3lhbkBzb2ZpYWl0bGFiLmNvbTBcMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUAA0sAMEgCQQC87kuoJXYp +xUaDoGSvMlVKqALCOhl0vSiOWZ2HUml2K7qQh3EyuJU0sTU4Lin5+GYFDxDbOMiUXXe+qBv OaovAgMBAAGjQzBBMBEGCWCGSAGG+EIBAQQEAwIFoDALBgNVHQ8EBAMCBPAwHwYDVR0jBBgw FoAUDtzwuxI83fpgp48nCpunLn5zaZowDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAN3V3KOUeHb8kE+6i ihKq0QyhMyP+3+lWzFDT5Ru/oP6qbeBH1xtxr/sInDjG6AVeHKFCNtZaUP8vTtpiWH3qE4Zm wwGK/in9zXJzpRZ7yAOD1DxAstySgf71U9cficdOlLHkfc3ffFs9qEZoB15+JDvLDgzSZ0ZS 2/MTJG5gdKM= EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020327T100548Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] mda
http://www.cnsys.bg/files.html?prj=20465 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Konstantinov;Boyan FN:Boyan Konstantinov NICKNAME:Phaethon ORG:Sofia IT Lab TITLE:Software engineer TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407 ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia 1116=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;HOME:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ URL;WORK:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ BDAY:19760306 KEY;X509;ENCODING=BASE64: MIICIDCCAYmgAwIBAgILAQAA6k8Uq9cwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQAwXTELMAkGA1UEBhMC QkUxGTAXBgNVBAoTEEdsb2JhbFNpZ24gbnYtc2ExEzARBgNVBAsTCkNsYXNzIDEgQ0ExHjAc BgNVBAMTFUdsb2JhbFNpZ24gQ2xhc3MgMSBDQTAeFw0wMTExMjExMzI1MDFaFw0wMTEyMjEx MzI1MDFaMEQxHTAbBgNVBAMUFGJveWFuQHNvZmlhaXRsYWIuY29tMSMwIQYJKoZIhvcNAQkB FhRib3lhbkBzb2ZpYWl0bGFiLmNvbTBcMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUAA0sAMEgCQQC87kuoJXYp +xUaDoGSvMlVKqALCOhl0vSiOWZ2HUml2K7qQh3EyuJU0sTU4Lin5+GYFDxDbOMiUXXe+qBv OaovAgMBAAGjQzBBMBEGCWCGSAGG+EIBAQQEAwIFoDALBgNVHQ8EBAMCBPAwHwYDVR0jBBgw FoAUDtzwuxI83fpgp48nCpunLn5zaZowDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAN3V3KOUeHb8kE+6i ihKq0QyhMyP+3+lWzFDT5Ru/oP6qbeBH1xtxr/sInDjG6AVeHKFCNtZaUP8vTtpiWH3qE4Zm wwGK/in9zXJzpRZ7yAOD1DxAstySgf71U9cficdOlLHkfc3ffFs9qEZoB15+JDvLDgzSZ0ZS 2/MTJG5gdKM= EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020401T110509Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Sun sponsored?
Istinski citat ot poslednata pesen na George Michael - Freeek: You got yourself some actionSaid you got your sexy JavaYou got your speed connectionFree chat, that, get a little harder Moje bi noviq hymn na Java obshtestvoto :-) Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]-- Wandering in the deep of the nightA thousand birds take flightAnd our dreams are bornOn the wings of changeWe are weaving the world tonight BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Konstantinov;Boyan FN:Boyan Konstantinov NICKNAME:Phaethon ORG:Sofia IT Lab TITLE:Software engineer TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407 ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia 1116=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;HOME:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ URL;WORK:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ BDAY:19760306 KEY;X509;ENCODING=BASE64: MIICIDCCAYmgAwIBAgILAQAA6k8Uq9cwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQAwXTELMAkGA1UEBhMC QkUxGTAXBgNVBAoTEEdsb2JhbFNpZ24gbnYtc2ExEzARBgNVBAsTCkNsYXNzIDEgQ0ExHjAc BgNVBAMTFUdsb2JhbFNpZ24gQ2xhc3MgMSBDQTAeFw0wMTExMjExMzI1MDFaFw0wMTEyMjEx MzI1MDFaMEQxHTAbBgNVBAMUFGJveWFuQHNvZmlhaXRsYWIuY29tMSMwIQYJKoZIhvcNAQkB FhRib3lhbkBzb2ZpYWl0bGFiLmNvbTBcMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUAA0sAMEgCQQC87kuoJXYp +xUaDoGSvMlVKqALCOhl0vSiOWZ2HUml2K7qQh3EyuJU0sTU4Lin5+GYFDxDbOMiUXXe+qBv OaovAgMBAAGjQzBBMBEGCWCGSAGG+EIBAQQEAwIFoDALBgNVHQ8EBAMCBPAwHwYDVR0jBBgw FoAUDtzwuxI83fpgp48nCpunLn5zaZowDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAN3V3KOUeHb8kE+6i ihKq0QyhMyP+3+lWzFDT5Ru/oP6qbeBH1xtxr/sInDjG6AVeHKFCNtZaUP8vTtpiWH3qE4Zm wwGK/in9zXJzpRZ7yAOD1DxAstySgf71U9cficdOlLHkfc3ffFs9qEZoB15+JDvLDgzSZ0ZS 2/MTJG5gdKM= EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020401T132047Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Bill again
http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/2002/LAW/1/4/gates.murder.01/index.html BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Konstantinov;Boyan FN:Boyan Konstantinov NICKNAME:Phaethon ORG:Sofia IT Lab TITLE:Software engineer TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407 ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia 1116=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;HOME:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ URL;WORK:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ BDAY:19760306 KEY;X509;ENCODING=BASE64: MIICIDCCAYmgAwIBAgILAQAA6k8Uq9cwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQAwXTELMAkGA1UEBhMC QkUxGTAXBgNVBAoTEEdsb2JhbFNpZ24gbnYtc2ExEzARBgNVBAsTCkNsYXNzIDEgQ0ExHjAc BgNVBAMTFUdsb2JhbFNpZ24gQ2xhc3MgMSBDQTAeFw0wMTExMjExMzI1MDFaFw0wMTEyMjEx MzI1MDFaMEQxHTAbBgNVBAMUFGJveWFuQHNvZmlhaXRsYWIuY29tMSMwIQYJKoZIhvcNAQkB FhRib3lhbkBzb2ZpYWl0bGFiLmNvbTBcMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUAA0sAMEgCQQC87kuoJXYp +xUaDoGSvMlVKqALCOhl0vSiOWZ2HUml2K7qQh3EyuJU0sTU4Lin5+GYFDxDbOMiUXXe+qBv OaovAgMBAAGjQzBBMBEGCWCGSAGG+EIBAQQEAwIFoDALBgNVHQ8EBAMCBPAwHwYDVR0jBBgw FoAUDtzwuxI83fpgp48nCpunLn5zaZowDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAN3V3KOUeHb8kE+6i ihKq0QyhMyP+3+lWzFDT5Ru/oP6qbeBH1xtxr/sInDjG6AVeHKFCNtZaUP8vTtpiWH3qE4Zm wwGK/in9zXJzpRZ7yAOD1DxAstySgf71U9cficdOlLHkfc3ffFs9qEZoB15+JDvLDgzSZ0ZS 2/MTJG5gdKM= EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020402T102854Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Fw:Stella awards
Duh! Only in America! The Stella Awards - America at its very best! The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-oldStella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself. This case inspired an annual award - Thee "Stella" Award - for the most frivolouslawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are clear candidates. All these cases are verging on the outright ridiculous and yet (in the good old USA) with the rightattorney you could win anything! 1. January 2000:Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who wasrunning inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little ba$tard was Ms. Robertson's son. 2. June 1998:A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. 3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he hadjust finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get thegarage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the houseand garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation.Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. Hesubsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused himundue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars. 4. October 1999:Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 andmedical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour'sbeagle. The beagle was on a chain in it's owner's fenced-in yard. Theaward was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might havebeen just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shootingit repeatedly with a pellet gun. 5. May 2000:A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson ofLancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink andbroke hercoccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at herboyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. 6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of anight club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom windowto the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room toavoidpaying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dentalexpenses. And the winner is: Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In November 2000 Mr Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mphand calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself acup of coffee. Not surprisingly the Winnie left the freeway, crashed andoverturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in thehandbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000plus a new Winnie. (Winniebago actually changed their handbooks onthe back of this court case, just in case there are any other completemorons buying their vehicles. BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Konstantinov;Boyan FN:Boyan Konstantinov NICKNAME:Phaethon ORG:Sofia IT Lab TITLE:Software engineer TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407 ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia 1116=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;HOME:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ URL;WORK:http://www.sofiaitlab.com/ BDAY:19760306 KEY;X509;ENCODING=BASE64: MIICIDCCAYmgAwIBAgILAQAA6k8Uq9cwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQAwXTELMAkGA1UEBhMC QkUxGTAXBgNVBAoTEEdsb2JhbFNpZ24gbnYtc2ExEzARBgNVBAsTCkNsYXNzIDEgQ0ExHjAc BgNVBAMTFUdsb2JhbFNpZ24gQ2xhc3MgMSBDQTAeFw0wMTExMjExMzI1MDFaFw0wMTEyMjEx MzI1MDFaMEQxHTAbBgNVBAMUFGJveWFuQHNvZmlhaXRsYWIuY29tMSMwIQYJKoZIhvcNAQkB FhRib3lhbkBzb2ZpYWl0bGFiLmNvbTBcMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUAA0sAMEgCQQC87kuoJXYp +xUaDoGSvMlVKqALCOhl0vSiOWZ2HUml2K7qQh3EyuJU0sTU4Lin5+GYFDxDbOMiUXXe+qBv OaovAgMBAAGjQzBBMBEGCWCGSAGG+EIBAQQEAwIFoDALBgNVHQ8EBAMCBPAwHwYDVR0jBBgw
[JOKES] Short English Course for Engineers
ëÒÁÔËÉÊ ËÕÒÓ ÁÎÇÌÉÊÓËÏÇÏ ÑÚÙËÁ ÄÌÑ ÉÎÖÅÎÅÒÏ×. óÁn YÏu hÅÁr mÅ - ôÙ ÍÏÖÅÛØ ÍÅÎÑ ÚÄÅÓØ. UndrÅssÅd ÓustÏm mÏdÅl - çÏÌÁÑ ÔÁÍÏÖÅÎÎÁÑ ÍÏÄÅÌØ. íÁniÓurÅ - äÅÎØÇÉ ÌÅÞÁÔ. I'm just Ásking - ñ ×ÓÅÇÏ ÌÉÛØ ËÏÒÏÌØ ÖÏÐ. I hÁvÅ bÅÅn thÅrÅ - õ ÍÅÎÑ ÔÁÍ ÆÁÓÏÌØ. GÏd ÏnlÕ knÏws - åÄÉÎÓÔ×ÅÎÎÙÊ ÎÏÓ ÂÏÇÁ. WÅ ÁrÅ thÅ ÓhÁmÒiÏns - íÙ ÛÁÍÐÉÎØÏÎÙ. DÏ YÏu fÅÅl Álright? - ôÙ ÓÐÒÁ×Á ×ÓÅÈ ÚÎÁÅÛØ? ÷ÕÅ bÕÅ bÁbÕ, bÁbÕ gÏÏd bÕÅ - ëÕÐÉ-ËÕÐÉ ÒÅÂÅÎËÁ, ÒÅ£ÎÏË - ÈÏÒÏÛÁÑ ÐÏËÕÐËÁ. ôÏ bÅ Ïr nÏt tÏ bÅ? - ðÞÅÌÁ ÉÌÉ ÎÅ ÐÞÅÌÁ?. I fÅll in lÏvÅ - ñ Ó×ÁÌÉÌÓÑ × ÌÀÂÏ×Ø. Just in ÓÁsÅ - ôÏÌØËÏ × ÐÏÒÔÆÅÌÅ. I will nÅvÅr givÅ uÒ - íÅÎÑ ÎÉËÏÇÄÁ ÎÅ ÔÏÛÎÉÔ. ïh dÅÁr - áÈ ÏÌÅÎØ. I sÁw mÕ îÏnÅÕ tÏdÁÕ - ñ ÐÉÌÉÌ ÍÏÊ Í£Ä ÓÅÇÏÄÎÑ. I'm gÏing tÏ mÁkÅ ÕÏu minÅ - ñ ÉÄÕ ËÏÐÁÔØ ÔÅÂÅ ÛÁÈÔÕ. íÁÕ GÏd bÅ with ÕÏu - íÁÊÓËÁÑ ÈÏÒÏÛÁÑ ÐÞ£ÌËÁ Ó ÔÏÂÏÊ. Finnish ÒÅÏÒlÅ - ëÏÎÞÅÎÙÅ ÌÀÄÉ. ÷Ád influÅnÓÅ - ðÌÏÈÁÑ ÐÒÏÓÔÕÄÁ. òhÏnÅ sÅllÅr - ðÏÚ×ÏÎÉ ÐÒÏÄÁ×ÃÕ. GÏÏd ÒrÏduÓts - âÏÇ ÎÁ ÓÔÏÒÏÎÅ ÕÔÏË. LÅt's hÁvÅ Á ÒÁrtÕ - äÁ×ÁÊÔÅ ÏÒÇÁÎÉÚÕÅÍ ÐÁÒÔÉÀ. WÁtÓh Ïut! - ðÏÓÍÏÔÒÉ ÓÎÁÒÕÖÉ! I knÏw his stÏrÕ wÅll - ñ ÚÎÁÀ Ô×ÏÊ ÉÓÔÏÒÉÞÅÓËÉÊ ËÏÌÏÄÅÃ. òrÅss sÒÁÓÅ bÁr tÏ ÓÏntinuÅ - ëÏÓÍÉÞÅÓËÉÊ ÂÁÒ ÐÒÅÓÓÙ ÐÒÏÄÏÌÖÁÅÔ. I lÏvÅ ÕÏu bÁbÕ - ñ ÌÀÂÌÀ ×ÁÓ, ÂÁÂÙ!
[JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$
Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ :)Message box na Internet Exploder pri p#len sriv:
Re: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$
ne :)) - Original Message - From: Hursev To: Boyan Konstantinov Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002 18:39 Subject: Re: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ abe si da ne pishesh mail client i da go testwash w momenta - Original Message - From: Boyan Konstantinov To: Jokes@Sirma Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002 5:01 PM Subject: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ :)Message box na Internet Exploder pri p#len sriv:
[JOKES] Job interview
Three men, an Italian, a French and a Spanish went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow. The Italian was first: I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day. The French was next: I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV. Last was the Spanish: I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone green... green..., I pink up the phone and I say Yellow?... Boyan Konstantinov Software Engineer Sofia IT Lab www.sofiaitlab.com [EMAIL PROTECTED] ICQ#:8853846 (+3592) 971 89 10 (+3592) 971 89 11 (+3592) 971 89 12 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] It was cold last night :))
attachment: It was a cold night.jpg
[JOKES] Medicine
British doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we cantake a brain out of one man, put it in another and have him looking forwork in six weeks." A German doctor says, "That`s nothing, we can take abrain out of one person, put it in another and have him preparing forwar in four weeks. The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind,we just took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the WhiteHouse, and now half the country is looking for work, and the other halfpreparing forwar."
[JOKES] Outlook Express
attachment: 37.gif
[JOKES] Neshto neredno?
vermeer.jpg
[JOKES] Fw:Women
Womencan't understand them attachment: womencomplicated.jpg
Re: [JOKES] Fw: Brian Keller's view of the world
Title: Message Ne che zashtitavam "smeshni presidenti" no ti kak razbra che e narek#l indiicite indianci? Oshte ot Columbovo vreme i poradi Columbovi greshki dumata e s#shtata - Original Message - From: Minko Blyantov To: JOKES Sent: Tuesday, June 10, 2003 4:46 PM Subject: [JOKES] Fw: Brian Keller's view of the world Wsichki nie si spomnqme kak wyw win 95, 98 I 2k ni bqha obyrkali povolenieto w sweta:Sofija beshe na GMT+1.W xp fix-naha imeto, makar I da si stoim w edna chasowa zona s germany (pak gmt+1).No - 50% napredyk e po-dobre ot nishto. No n, towa sywsem ne e wsichko ! Sega razbirame che ili encartata na M$ e sbyrkana, ili w naj-dobriq sluchaj batko brianpak neshto ne e dogledal (weche stana nawik na amerikancite da prenachertawat granici, sprawka - poslednite rechi na smeshniq im prezident s IQ 127 (naj-gotino beshe kato nareche indijcite indianci ;Eto izwadka I ot sajta na brian keller:I don't know much about Bulgaria. I'm not ashamed to tell you that I had to zoom out twice on the Encarta map to figure out where it was in relation to other countries! It borders Turkey and Hungary, which would make it two hops from Iraq. No towa ne e wsichko: okazwa se, che propadaneto na brega na cherno more w sledstwie na korozoq i swlachishta se w po-naprednal stadij otkolkoto si mislehme. weche ima pristanishte sofia! ...and they said that the port of Sofia (capital of Bulgaria, where I'm headed) is known for receiving small arms shipments ... W zakljuchenie: mislq che trqbwa mu prostim na choweka. wse pak kakwo ochakwate ot chowek, kojto iska da si obzawede ofisa kato Boeing 747 ... P.S. Brawo pichowe, pohwalno e che ste go wodili na stroeva studgard. Drugiq pyt da go zawedete i na kupon w chitalnq ;)) http://blogs.gotdotnet.com/briankel/
[JOKES] nice message
certmrg.jpg
[JOKES] Women
. , . . . , : -- . . . . , : -- . . =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Trance
sigurno vi e omr#znalo ot podobni, no tova si struva po skromnoto mi mnenie:) WebTrance ochevidno v LSD-trance :) , , Original: You with your music forgot the main thing is that in the chest of those out of tuneDeep within the chestbeating quietly That in the chest of those out of tunea heart also beats
