Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
LG baby - all that water that you have been selling to those suckers, I mean seekers - better be from that bowl of Ganga water that I spat in, otherwise I am going to wipe that fucking laugh off your face and your title. On Sat, Mar 23, 2013 at 8:05 PM, laughinggull108 no_re...@yahoogroups.comwrote: ** --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing Protector and manner of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now... Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: Yes indeedy...step right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I mean permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, thirst-quenching water is $2 per cup or I can let you have an entire quart for $10. So what will it be my most parched and sincere seekers? After a brief consultation among the three seeker companions from whom can be heard seeker Xeno ...the cups are cheaper and seeker Share in her most pouty voice ...but I want the quart!, seeker Xeno approaches and says: We'll take two quarts. And by the way, what's RR? The scene fades to black as the first strains of Amazing Grace play softly in the background. [to be continued...] Scene fades in as the final strains of the gospel Just As I Am fade out softly in the background. Laughing Jelly Bean, formerly known as LPHHR, with a blissful smile on his pudgy yet somewhat handsome
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ravi Chivukula chivukula.ravi@... wrote: LG baby - all that water that you have been selling to those suckers, I mean seekers - better be from that bowl of Ganga water that I spat in, otherwise I am going to wipe that fucking laugh off your face and your title. http://youtu.be/D88HMQF8W_4 On Sat, Mar 23, 2013 at 8:05 PM, laughinggull108 no_re...@yahoogroups.comwrote: ** --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing Protector and manner of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now... Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: Yes indeedy...step right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I mean permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, thirst-quenching water is $2 per cup or I can let you have an entire quart for $10. So what will it be my most parched and sincere seekers? After a brief consultation among the three seeker companions from whom can be heard seeker Xeno ...the cups are cheaper and seeker Share in her most pouty voice ...but I want the quart!, seeker Xeno approaches and says: We'll take two quarts. And by the way, what's RR? The scene fades to black as the first strains of Amazing Grace play softly in the background. [to be continued...] Scene
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
Stevie Wonderful, I know some people think you're bumbling, gullible, a knight errant, etc. but IMHO you're the best, especially at, and here I'm blushing a little, you're the best at yadda yadda yadda so let them eat their hearts out or eat cake or eat whatever. But dearest do we really have to have pooping birds and wart bestowing frogs sharing our love nest. Sorry for being so negative. It's just that our love is so pure and I hope we can keep it that way. Oh and one other little thing: we gotta stop meeting like this (-: PS That ole Laughing One may THINK he's got something special for me, but with our love, that's all the specialness in life I need and or want. Yet I am grateful to him for Songbird and plead with you, can it be our song? Here it is again and it always makes me think of you. Even if you still bring poopy birds and wart bestowing frogs into love nest, etc. My love for you is and always will be UNCONDITIONAL! Hmmm, I think I'll have my agent Wilbur Farnsworpy Tigglewud III contact Laughing One. Do you think I should? http://youtu.be/ees3PE7yNOg From: seventhray27 steve.sun...@yahoo.com To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Saturday, March 23, 2013 11:18 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@... wrote: snip As seeker Xeno's eyes begin to flutter open, seekers Share's and Steve's begin to close as the heavy and intoxicatingly sweet fragrance of lilac, along with the natural lullaby of the clear-flowing river, gently lulls them to sleep...not to mention the velvety cushion of soft green moss against which both are languidly reclined. (Happy now, Steve???) Birds. I want birds. Songbirds. The scene needs these to be complete. The lullaby of the river is good, but let's work in some song birds, and maybe a croaking frog. When he is once more able to focus, seeker Xeno's eyes fall on the vast assortment of objects that LJB has so artfully and tastefully arranged on the downturned tailgate of the pick-up truck. In the shadows under the wooden camper shell can be seen various beat up cardboard boxes in a state of disarray with their contents spilling out across the bed of the truck. Could I interest you seeker Xeno in various rare and sacred objects guaranteed to begin the cleansing and purifying process to the extent that His Worshipfulness will deign to bestow a brief moment of His coveted attention upon your sorry ass...uh, I mean unrealized small 's' self? croons LJB in his best Og Mandino impression. In a somewhat croaky yet quiet whisper so that seekers Share and Share can't hear, seeker Xeno asks May I please buy four cups of water to assuage my rabid thirst? Certainly, smiles LJB as he walks a mere two feet away and dips an empty quart bottle in the clear-flowing river and hands it to seeker Xeno. That will be $10 please. Now wait just a darn minute, O Laughing One protests seeker Xeno, who obviously came out of meditation a little too quickly. Earlier you said water was $2 a cup so by my calculation four cups would only be $8. Yes, dear seeker Xeno, that is true, croons LJB in his most soothing voice. But four cups is equal to a quart of water, and the price of a quart of water is $10. If you're running low on funds, I conveniently accept credit or debit cards for a very modest 5% surcharge over and above my very fair purchase prices. Slightly confused because he came out of meditation a little too quickly, and his rabid thirst getting the better of him, seeker Xeno hands over his gold Amex card to which LJB smiles gleefully as soon as he turns to go ring up the charge. Why don't I just hold on to this until all our purchases are complete, hmmm? he asks, to which seeker Xeno, in a daze and staring at a group of people further down the clear-flowing river dipping out cool water by the gallon, mutters, Huh? Whatever. Suddenly, and with utter finality, the veil lifts, and with a clarity of understanding experienced previously only for the very briefest of moments, no longer a seeker Xeno proclaims, O Laughing One, I am now the one who is laughing because the water is, and has always been, free. A momentary look of fear and panic clouds LJB's face as he realizes no longer a seeker Xeno has discovered the truth, but quickly turns to disappointment as he realizes he has just lost his best customer in weeks. What has been sought has been found. You have no need for these earthly objects nor the attention or presence of my Master Raviji, so go from here and find your own self-proclaimed door lackeys. As Xeno is seen disappearing into the setting sun whistling Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah further down the river, seekers Share and Steve can be seen stumbling towards the clearing in which sits the beat up
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Share Long sharelong60@... wrote: Stevie Wonderful, I know some people think you're bumbling, gullible, a knight errant, etc. but IMHO you're the best, especially at, and here I'm blushing a little, you're the best at yadda yadda yadda so let them eat their hearts out or eat cake or eat whatever. But dearest do we really have to have pooping birds and wart bestowing frogs sharing our love nest. Sorry for being so negative. It's just that our love is so pure and I hope we can keep it that way. Oh and one other little thing: we gotta stop meeting like this (-: PS That ole Laughing One may THINK he's got something special for me, but with our love, that's all the specialness in life I need and or want. Yet I am grateful to him for Songbird and plead with you, can it be our song? Here it is again and it always makes me think of you. Even if you still bring poopy birds and wart bestowing frogs into love nest, etc. My love for you is and always will be UNCONDITIONAL!  Hmmm, I think I'll have my agent Wilbur Farnsworpy Tigglewud III contact Laughing One. Do you think I should? I don't know. But I think you've said everything pefectly, and I don't think anything can be added to it, and if I feel as good the rest of the week as I do now, then I'm going to be in good shape. Hey, my spirits have just risen. Is that a week early? http://youtu.be/ees3PE7yNOg From: seventhray27 steve.sundur@... To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Saturday, March 23, 2013 11:18 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.  --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: snip As seeker Xeno's eyes begin to flutter open, seekers Share's and Steve's begin to close as the heavy and intoxicatingly sweet fragrance of lilac, along with the natural lullaby of the clear-flowing river, gently lulls them to sleep...not to mention the velvety cushion of soft green moss against which both are languidly reclined. (Happy now, Steve???)  Birds. I want birds.  Songbirds. The scene needs these to be complete. The lullaby of the river is good, but let's work in some song birds, and maybe a croaking frog.   When he is once more able to focus, seeker Xeno's eyes fall on the vast assortment of objects that LJB has so artfully and tastefully arranged on the downturned tailgate of the pick-up truck. In the shadows under the wooden camper shell can be seen various beat up cardboard boxes in a state of disarray with their contents spilling out across the bed of the truck. Could I interest you seeker Xeno in various rare and sacred objects guaranteed to begin the cleansing and purifying process to the extent that His Worshipfulness will deign to bestow a brief moment of His coveted attention upon your sorry ass...uh, I mean unrealized small 's' self? croons LJB in his best Og Mandino impression. In a somewhat croaky yet quiet whisper so that seekers Share and Share can't hear, seeker Xeno asks May I please buy four cups of water to assuage my rabid thirst? Certainly, smiles LJB as he walks a mere two feet away and dips an empty quart bottle in the clear-flowing river and hands it to seeker Xeno. That will be $10 please. Now wait just a darn minute, O Laughing One protests seeker Xeno, who obviously came out of meditation a little too quickly. Earlier you said water was $2 a cup so by my calculation four cups would only be $8. Yes, dear seeker Xeno, that is true, croons LJB in his most soothing voice. But four cups is equal to a quart of water, and the price of a quart of water is $10. If you're running low on funds, I conveniently accept credit or debit cards for a very modest 5% surcharge over and above my very fair purchase prices. Slightly confused because he came out of meditation a little too quickly, and his rabid thirst getting the better of him, seeker Xeno hands over his gold Amex card to which LJB smiles gleefully as soon as he turns to go ring up the charge. Why don't I just hold on to this until all our purchases are complete, hmmm? he asks, to which seeker Xeno, in a daze and staring at a group of people further down the clear-flowing river dipping out cool water by the gallon, mutters, Huh? Whatever. Suddenly, and with utter finality, the veil lifts, and with a clarity of understanding experienced previously only for the very briefest of moments, no longer a seeker Xeno proclaims, O Laughing One, I am now the one who is laughing because the water is, and has always been, free. A momentary look of fear and panic clouds LJB's face as he realizes no longer a seeker Xeno has discovered the truth, but quickly turns to disappointment as he realizes he has just lost his best customer in weeks. What has been sought has been found. You have no need for these earthly objects nor the attention or presence of my
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
To: Laughing One Jelly Bean Dear Mr. Bean, or may I call you Jelly? I am writing at the behest of my client Share F. Long to whose attention has come your illustrious writing. She especially liked the points you made to Doc this morning. Anyway, she has warned me that if I don't get off my tukas, which unfortunately I do have to sit on in order to write at my computer ha ha. Anyway, Missy Share has urged me to contact you saying that if I don't, some other agent will scoop you up, well, just like a scooper full of jelly beans! And many of these agents are not as attuned to their clients every need and wish as I am. Just ask my mother. So here I am offering to be your agent as you navigate the slippery and treacherous byways and bylines of Hollywood, not to mention FFL. Perhaps we could meet for lunch and I promise you I'm not the foodie that Miss Share F is so we can go anywhere you'd like. My treat! One last slightly delicate issue: I realize that coming from a Border State as I do, I really can't appreciate the depth of loyalty in a True Southerner such as yourself. However I am hoping you won't hold that accident of birth agin me and find it in your heart to consider my request to be your hard working and ever proud yet humble agent. Sincerely wishing you all the best, Wilbur Farnsworpy Tigglewud III PS Once you become my adored client, if you ever give me monogrammed mugs or ties or pet rocks, please refrain from using the traditional form of monogramming wherein the initial of the last name is placed in the middle. Someday when we have become much closer, I will share with you the tragic events that render me so vulnerable in this area of life. Sniff sniff... From: laughinggull108 no_re...@yahoogroups.com To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Saturday, March 23, 2013 10:05 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested. When we last left LJB and our three seekers, seekers Share and Steve were yadda yadda yadda in the lush vegetation just inches away from the clear-flowing river while seeker Xeno had spent an indeterminant length of time either deep in samadhi or sloughing off hopefully the final remnants of deep fatigue in his nervous system...judging from the wet spot on his shirt front, we can safely assume the latter. As the scene opens, Nellie J's Price Tag (http://youtu.be/qMxX-QOV9tI) can be heard playing softly from the beat up Sony boom-box on the seat in the cab of the beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck. As in the last scene, LJB is leaning in close to seeker Xeno, and in a louder and slightly more impatient voice says: Take one or two minutes and slowly open the eyes. As seeker Xeno's eyes begin to flutter open, seekers Share's and Steve's begin to close as the heavy and intoxicatingly sweet fragrance of lilac, along with the natural lullaby of the clear-flowing river, gently lulls them to sleep...not to mention the velvety cushion of soft green moss against which both are languidly reclined. (Happy now, Steve???) When he is once more able to focus, seeker Xeno's eyes fall on the vast assortment of objects that LJB has so artfully and tastefully arranged on the downturned tailgate of the pick-up truck. In the shadows under the wooden camper shell can be seen various beat up cardboard boxes in a state of disarray with their contents spilling out across the bed of the truck. Could I interest you seeker Xeno in various rare and sacred objects guaranteed to begin the cleansing and purifying process to the extent that His Worshipfulness will deign to bestow a brief moment of His coveted attention upon your sorry ass...uh, I mean unrealized small 's' self? croons LJB in his best Og Mandino impression. In a somewhat croaky yet quiet whisper so that seekers Share and Share can't hear, seeker Xeno asks May I please buy four cups of water to assuage my rabid thirst? Certainly, smiles LJB as he walks a mere two feet away and dips an empty quart bottle in the clear-flowing river and hands it to seeker Xeno. That will be $10 please. Now wait just a darn minute, O Laughing One protests seeker Xeno, who obviously came out of meditation a little too quickly. Earlier you said water was $2 a cup so by my calculation four cups would only be $8. Yes, dear seeker Xeno, that is true, croons LJB in his most soothing voice. But four cups is equal to a quart of water, and the price of a quart of water is $10. If you're running low on funds, I conveniently accept credit or debit cards for a very modest 5% surcharge over and above my very fair purchase prices. Slightly confused because he came out of meditation a little too quickly, and his rabid thirst getting the better of him, seeker Xeno hands over his gold Amex card to which LJB smiles gleefully as soon as he turns to go ring up the charge. Why don't I just hold on to this until
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Share Long sharelong60@... wrote: To: Laughing One Jelly Bean Dear Mr. Bean, or may I call you Jelly? I am writing at the behest of my client Share F. Long to whose attention has come your illustrious writing. She especially liked the points you made to Doc this morning. Anyway, she has warned me that if I don't get off my tukas, which unfortunately I do have to sit on in order to write at my computer ha ha. Anyway, Missy Share has urged me to contact you saying that if I don't, some other agent will scoop you up, well, just like a scooper full of jelly beans! And many of these agents are not as attuned to their clients every need and wish as I am. Just ask my mother. So here I am offering to be your agent as you navigate the slippery and treacherous byways and bylines of Hollywood, not to mention FFL. Perhaps we could meet for lunch and I promise you I'm not the foodie that Miss Share F is so we can go anywhere you'd like. My treat! One last slightly delicate issue: I realize that coming from a Border State as I do, I really can't appreciate the depth of loyalty in a True Southerner such as yourself. However I am hoping you won't hold that accident of birth agin me and find it in your heart to consider my request to be your hard working and ever proud yet humble agent. Sincerely wishing you all the best, Wilbur Farnsworpy Tigglewud III PS Once you become my adored client, if you ever give me monogrammed mugs or ties or pet rocks, please refrain from using the traditional form of monogramming wherein the initial of the last name is placed in the middle. Someday when we have become much closer, I will share with you the tragic events that render me so vulnerable in this area of life. Sniff sniff... Wilbur, you old scoundrel you! Long time, no hear! My ma was your pa's pen pal throughout our younger years. She saved every last letter he wrote her and tied pretty ribbons around them, and hid 'em in her cedar chest at the foot of her and my pa's bed...or so she thought. Anyway, she told me she met your pa when her 11th grade class went on an early spring field trip to our nation's capital at the exact same time that your pa's senior class was there, and they stayed at the very same hotel. Well, she never did finish high school because she had me less than a year later...I'm a Christmas baby. Don't you remember when you and your pa came to visit the farm here in Carolina and stayed almost a whole week! I was seven and you were five and we had such fun milkin' the cows and sloppin' the hogs with grandpa. Remember when we jumped out of the hayloft and you got your foot caught in the boards? You fell plumb smack on your back and knocked the breath clean out ya'. Ma whooped both of us real good with that willow branch for scaring the daylights outta her, then felt bad, so had grandpa churn us a gallon of homemade peach ice cream and we ate about a quart each and had stomach aches afterwards. Anyway, a few years later, ma married my pa and the letters from your pa quit coming, and we lost touch with each other. Who'd have thought that we'd both end up involved in some way with TM...you do meditate, don't you Wilbur? Silly me, but of course you do, you're Share's agent, aren't you??? I'm excited about reconnecting as, of course, I'd be pleased as punch to have you as my agent. I'll have my people's people line something up with your people to work out the details of the contract. My current team has just finalized a movie deal with Spielberg's outfit Dreamworks (do you think you can handle that???) and we're in the middle of casting. So far, we have Steve Carell lined up as seeker Steve, and Alan Rickman is seriously considering the part of seeker Xeno. Since finishing up the Harry Potter series, Rickman is sort of strapped for cash so I think we'll get him. Oh, and Alicia Keyes is onboard with her version of Songbird as the movie's love theme. We should have moved more quickly on Jennifer Lawrence as seeker Share but then she had to go and win the Best Actress Oscar so it's highly doubtful that she'll sign with us now...a couple of heads rolled for dragging their feet on that one! We might have to settle for Dolly Parton, unless you know someone we could approach who is within our ten mil budget. And who are we going to get to play me? I've been so busy writing the screenplay that I haven't given it another thought. I guess if push comes to shove, I could always play myself. And of course, His Holiness Raviji will want to play himself when He makes a brief cameo to zap seekers Share and Steve with His Holy and Benign Darshan near the end of the movie. Let's move slowly on this as I don't want to unduly alarm Him as He has grown to depend on me as His self-appointed door lackey, and I've grown to depend on the substantial take at the door for the
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing Protector and manner of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now... Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: Yes indeedy...step right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I mean permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, thirst-quenching water is $2 per cup or I can let you have an entire quart for $10. So what will it be my most parched and sincere seekers? After a brief consultation among the three seeker companions from whom can be heard seeker Xeno ...the cups are cheaper and seeker Share in her most pouty voice ...but I want the quart!, seeker Xeno approaches and says: We'll take two quarts. And by the way, what's RR? The scene fades to black as the first strains of Amazing Grace play softly in the background. [to be continued...] Scene fades in as the final strains of the gospel Just As I Am fade out softly in the background. Laughing Jelly Bean, formerly known as LPHHR, with a blissful smile on his pudgy yet somewhat handsome face, slips a slightly fatter wallet into the folds of his patched dhoti while the three seeker companions, seated on heavily worn straw mats for a very, very reasonable $1 per mat per half hour,
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing Protector and manner of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now... Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: Yes indeedy...step right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I mean permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, thirst-quenching water is $2 per cup or I can let you have an entire quart for $10. So what will it be my most parched and sincere seekers? After a brief consultation among the three seeker companions from whom can be heard seeker Xeno ...the cups are cheaper and seeker Share in her most pouty voice ...but I want the quart!, seeker Xeno approaches and says: We'll take two quarts. And by the way, what's RR? The scene fades to black as the first strains of Amazing Grace play softly in the background. [to be continued...] Scene fades in as the final strains of the gospel Just As I Am fade out softly in the background. Laughing Jelly Bean, formerly known as LPHHR, with a blissful smile on his pudgy yet somewhat handsome face, slips a slightly fatter wallet into the folds of his patched dhoti while the three seeker companions, seated on heavily worn straw mats for a very, very reasonable $1 per mat per half hour, have
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@... wrote: snip As seeker Xeno's eyes begin to flutter open, seekers Share's and Steve's begin to close as the heavy and intoxicatingly sweet fragrance of lilac, along with the natural lullaby of the clear-flowing river, gently lulls them to sleep...not to mention the velvety cushion of soft green moss against which both are languidly reclined. (Happy now, Steve???) Birds. I want birds. Songbirds. The scene needs these to be complete. The lullaby of the river is good, but let's work in some song birds, and maybe a croaking frog. When he is once more able to focus, seeker Xeno's eyes fall on the vast assortment of objects that LJB has so artfully and tastefully arranged on the downturned tailgate of the pick-up truck. In the shadows under the wooden camper shell can be seen various beat up cardboard boxes in a state of disarray with their contents spilling out across the bed of the truck. Could I interest you seeker Xeno in various rare and sacred objects guaranteed to begin the cleansing and purifying process to the extent that His Worshipfulness will deign to bestow a brief moment of His coveted attention upon your sorry ass...uh, I mean unrealized small 's' self? croons LJB in his best Og Mandino impression. In a somewhat croaky yet quiet whisper so that seekers Share and Share can't hear, seeker Xeno asks May I please buy four cups of water to assuage my rabid thirst? Certainly, smiles LJB as he walks a mere two feet away and dips an empty quart bottle in the clear-flowing river and hands it to seeker Xeno. That will be $10 please. Now wait just a darn minute, O Laughing One protests seeker Xeno, who obviously came out of meditation a little too quickly. Earlier you said water was $2 a cup so by my calculation four cups would only be $8. Yes, dear seeker Xeno, that is true, croons LJB in his most soothing voice. But four cups is equal to a quart of water, and the price of a quart of water is $10. If you're running low on funds, I conveniently accept credit or debit cards for a very modest 5% surcharge over and above my very fair purchase prices. Slightly confused because he came out of meditation a little too quickly, and his rabid thirst getting the better of him, seeker Xeno hands over his gold Amex card to which LJB smiles gleefully as soon as he turns to go ring up the charge. Why don't I just hold on to this until all our purchases are complete, hmmm? he asks, to which seeker Xeno, in a daze and staring at a group of people further down the clear-flowing river dipping out cool water by the gallon, mutters, Huh? Whatever. Suddenly, and with utter finality, the veil lifts, and with a clarity of understanding experienced previously only for the very briefest of moments, no longer a seeker Xeno proclaims, O Laughing One, I am now the one who is laughing because the water is, and has always been, free. A momentary look of fear and panic clouds LJB's face as he realizes no longer a seeker Xeno has discovered the truth, but quickly turns to disappointment as he realizes he has just lost his best customer in weeks. What has been sought has been found. You have no need for these earthly objects nor the attention or presence of my Master Raviji, so go from here and find your own self-proclaimed door lackeys. As Xeno is seen disappearing into the setting sun whistling Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah further down the river, seekers Share and Steve can be seen stumbling towards the clearing in which sits the beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck. As the scene slowly fades to black, seeker Share can be heard excitedly saying, Oh look Stevie at all these wonderful things. I must have one of these and, and three of those and, and...Stevie, would you be a dear and buy us another quart of water...and what are those things in that box back there... as LJB's face turns from sadness and disappointment to absolute and utter joy, and he croons, Right this way, seeker Share, right this way. Have I got something special just for you... [to be continued for a substantial yet very modest fee]
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
Not that I'm an expert on the soaps (other than All My Children during the early 70s when everyone would gather in the Student Union at UNC to watch the next episode to see what Erica Kane was up to) but I think that might be As the World Turns. Maybe we could call this As the Wheel of Karma Turns. Anyway, thanks Steve and Share for being such good sports on being included in the cast of characters (just to let you know, I haven't written you out as yet...flood indeed...you bad Steve but you're not gonna get off that easy). And thanks Ann for cheering the series on...there probably will a final episode to wrap everything up...wouldn't want to leave anyone, especially Xeno, hanging now, would we??? Xeno, you are taking this as a joke, right??? --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, seventhray27 steve.sundur@... wrote: I think I saw something similiar to this this in How the World Turns --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, doctordumbass@ no_reply@ wrote: We appreciate His Holiness's glee at His humble seekers' efforts to amuse. A further scene awaits: Much to Share and Steve's chagrin, Xeno attempts to buy at any price, LJB's much dog-eared and stained copy of the Kama Sutra, until Xeno's keen eye spots several of his favorite pages missing...In the awkward pause that follows, Share and Steve are relieved, Xeno is frustrated, his silence quickly evaporating, and LJB, feeling the fresh twenty in his pocket, is hoping for more cash. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ravi Chivukula chivukula.ravi@ wrote: OMG you guys are cracking me up :-), thank you LG - I didn't know you had such talents, pure Bhakti rasa I say. I'm too distracted having been targeted by Kamadeva's arrow. On Sun, Mar 17, 2013 at 5:50 PM, doctordumbass@ no_re...@yahoogroups.com wrote: ** --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ann awoelflebater@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
Well I used to watch The Young and the Restless with my Granny so I know a bit about soaps. OTOH, I wonder if those posts about Bible study perhaps infiltrated this thread. First we had the Garden of Eden with Xeno as God, Gull as Serpent, etc. Now we have the Great Deluge. And my guess is Gull won't forgive me for my original remark to Ravi until the Second Coming. But I'm apologizing for it anyway (-: From: laughinggull108 no_re...@yahoogroups.com To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Monday, March 18, 2013 5:59 AM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested. Not that I'm an expert on the soaps (other than All My Children during the early 70s when everyone would gather in the Student Union at UNC to watch the next episode to see what Erica Kane was up to) but I think that might be As the World Turns. Maybe we could call this As the Wheel of Karma Turns. Anyway, thanks Steve and Share for being such good sports on being included in the cast of characters (just to let you know, I haven't written you out as yet...flood indeed...you bad Steve but you're not gonna get off that easy). And thanks Ann for cheering the series on...there probably will a final episode to wrap everything up...wouldn't want to leave anyone, especially Xeno, hanging now, would we??? Xeno, you are taking this as a joke, right??? --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, seventhray27 steve.sundur@... wrote: I think I saw something similiar to this this in How the World Turns --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, doctordumbass@ no_reply@ wrote: We appreciate His Holiness's glee at His humble seekers' efforts to amuse. A further scene awaits: Much to Share and Steve's chagrin, Xeno attempts to buy at any price, LJB's much dog-eared and stained copy of the Kama Sutra, until Xeno's keen eye spots several of his favorite pages missing...In the awkward pause that follows, Share and Steve are relieved, Xeno is frustrated, his silence quickly evaporating, and LJB, feeling the fresh twenty in his pocket, is hoping for more cash. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ravi Chivukula chivukula.ravi@ wrote: OMG you guys are cracking me up :-), thank you LG - I didn't know you had such talents, pure Bhakti rasa I say. I'm too distracted having been targeted by Kamadeva's arrow. On Sun, Mar 17, 2013 at 5:50 PM, doctordumbass@ no_re...@yahoogroups.com wrote: ** --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ann awoelflebater@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@... wrote: Xeno, you are taking this as a joke, right??? Yes indeed. I just am unable to be on FFL continuously. I had a doctor's appointment today, and a family member is ill to boot. Damn, I misplaced my rudraksha mala that I had made out of garlic and onion croûtons and tennis string. What will his Implacability think of this grievous inattentiveness? Maybe it is all for the best. It had only 104 croûtons as I had to save a few for a salad. Perhaps his Infiniteness will be placated when I garland him with a wreath of pitcher plants and Venus flytraps (especially fine in insect plagued slum areas of Indian cities).
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@... wrote: snip Several hours have passed and seeker Xeno appears to be in deep samadhi with his head dropped against his chest, and there is no sign of seekers Share and Steve. The back of the rickety camper shell on the saffron-colored beat up Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck has been opened, and LJB can be seen putting the final touches on various and sundry items displayed temptingly yet tastefully on the tailgate. the soft moss by the side of the river can do that to you. and the bushes were lilac by the way. very intoxicating!
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing Protector and manner of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now... Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: Yes indeedy...step right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I mean permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, thirst-quenching water is $2 per cup or I can let you have an entire quart for $10. So what will it be my most parched and sincere seekers? After a brief consultation among the three seeker companions from whom can be heard seeker Xeno ...the cups are cheaper and seeker Share in her most pouty voice ...but I want the quart!, seeker Xeno approaches and says: We'll take two quarts. And by the way, what's RR? The scene fades to black as the first strains of Amazing Grace play softly in the background. [to be continued...] Scene fades in as the final strains of the gospel Just As I Am fade out softly in the background. Laughing Jelly Bean, formerly known as LPHHR, with a blissful smile on his pudgy yet somewhat handsome face, slips a slightly fatter wallet into the folds of his patched dhoti while the three seeker companions, seated on heavily worn straw mats for a very, very reasonable $1 per mat per half hour,
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ann awoelflebater@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing Protector and manner of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now... Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: Yes indeedy...step right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I mean permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, thirst-quenching water is $2 per cup or I can let you have an entire quart for $10. So what will it be my most parched and sincere seekers? After a brief consultation among the three seeker companions from whom can be heard seeker Xeno ...the cups are cheaper and seeker Share in her most pouty voice ...but I want the quart!, seeker Xeno approaches and says: We'll take two quarts. And by the way, what's RR? The scene fades to black as the first strains of Amazing Grace play softly in the background. [to be continued...] Scene fades in as the final strains of the gospel Just As I Am fade out softly in the background. Laughing Jelly Bean, formerly known as LPHHR, with a blissful smile on his pudgy yet somewhat handsome face, slips a slightly fatter wallet into
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
OMG you guys are cracking me up :-), thank you LG - I didn't know you had such talents, pure Bhakti rasa I say. I'm too distracted having been targeted by Kamadeva's arrow. On Sun, Mar 17, 2013 at 5:50 PM, doctordumb...@rocketmail.com no_re...@yahoogroups.com wrote: ** --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ann awoelflebater@... wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing Protector and manner of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now... Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: Yes indeedy...step right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I mean permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, thirst-quenching water is $2 per cup or I can let you have an entire quart for $10. So what will it be my most parched and sincere seekers? After a brief consultation among the three seeker companions from whom can be heard seeker Xeno ...the cups are cheaper and seeker Share in her most pouty voice ...but I want the quart!, seeker Xeno approaches and says: We'll take two quarts. And by the way, what's RR? The scene fades to black as the first strains of Amazing Grace play softly in the background. [to be continued...] Scene fades in as the final strains of the gospel Just As I Am fade out softly in the background. Laughing Jelly Bean, formerly
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, doctordumbass@... no_reply@... wrote: A few minutes later, Xeno's eyelids flutter, and his eyes begin to open, downcast. He is still deep within. LJB, sensing his pending mercantile triumph, makes a few nervous adjustments to his display, and stands back. Xeno, having emerged from a deeply golden and glorious place, now looks upon the raft of LJB's Divine treasures, arranged like baby's candy on the tailgate. As he awakes to the world around him, Xeno's eyes first settle on a necklace of mystical beads, among the tantalizing offerings. Each bead perfectly formed, the exact shape and color of the previous one. A flush of Bliss runs up Xeno's spine, a sign that he must have the strand. He points a dignified finger and silently inquires, How much? LJB can barely contain himself. Right off, Xeno has gone for the cash cow! Plastic rudraksha beads, bought in bulk off the web, from a joint in Delhi, for 15 rupees a pop (about 29 cents, US), and sold to the seekers for 20 bucks each! Jai Guru Dev! [...to be continued...maybe] Okay, I've had it! If your going write Steve and Share out of the script, I want it to be dramatic. Unbeknowst to all the parties assembled at this auspicious spot, a violent storm had moved in some forty miles North, resulting in a sudden and unpredictable rise of river. The two individuals covorting there were caught totally unawares until a wall of water came crashing down and took the two, uh, friends, yes friends, head over heals down to a watery end. Now feel free to amend this. Maybe the two, uh, friends, yes friends, don't die off. But come up with something!!
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
We appreciate His Holiness's glee at His humble seekers' efforts to amuse. A further scene awaits: Much to Share and Steve's chagrin, Xeno attempts to buy at any price, LJB's much dog-eared and stained copy of the Kama Sutra, until Xeno's keen eye spots several of his favorite pages missing...In the awkward pause that follows, Share and Steve are relieved, Xeno is frustrated, his silence quickly evaporating, and LJB, feeling the fresh twenty in his pocket, is hoping for more cash. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ravi Chivukula chivukula.ravi@... wrote: OMG you guys are cracking me up :-), thank you LG - I didn't know you had such talents, pure Bhakti rasa I say. I'm too distracted having been targeted by Kamadeva's arrow. On Sun, Mar 17, 2013 at 5:50 PM, doctordumbass@... no_re...@yahoogroups.com wrote: ** --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ann awoelflebater@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing Protector and manner of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now... Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: Yes indeedy...step right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I mean permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, thirst-quenching water is $2 per cup or I can let
[FairfieldLife] Re: Blessed are platitude puking Gurus !!! To all interested.
I think I saw something similiar to this this in How the World Turns --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, doctordumbass@... no_reply@... wrote: We appreciate His Holiness's glee at His humble seekers' efforts to amuse. A further scene awaits: Much to Share and Steve's chagrin, Xeno attempts to buy at any price, LJB's much dog-eared and stained copy of the Kama Sutra, until Xeno's keen eye spots several of his favorite pages missing...In the awkward pause that follows, Share and Steve are relieved, Xeno is frustrated, his silence quickly evaporating, and LJB, feeling the fresh twenty in his pocket, is hoping for more cash. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ravi Chivukula chivukula.ravi@ wrote: OMG you guys are cracking me up :-), thank you LG - I didn't know you had such talents, pure Bhakti rasa I say. I'm too distracted having been targeted by Kamadeva's arrow. On Sun, Mar 17, 2013 at 5:50 PM, doctordumbass@ no_re...@yahoogroups.com wrote: ** --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ann awoelflebater@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartaxius@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 no_reply@ wrote: So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please try to remember... I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their Divine and most Humble power. Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads Water for Sale. Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start muttering ...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm... as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: Oh Laughing Protector and manner of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now... Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he has some shills...uh...potential
