--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 <no_reply@...> wrote: snip > As seeker Xeno's eyes begin to flutter open, seekers Share's and Steve's begin to close as the heavy and intoxicatingly sweet fragrance of lilac, along with the natural lullaby of the clear-flowing river, gently lulls them to sleep...not to mention the velvety cushion of soft green moss against which both are languidly reclined. (Happy now, Steve???)
Birds. I want birds. Songbirds. The scene needs these to be complete. The lullaby of the river is good, but let's work in some song birds, and maybe a croaking frog. > When he is once more able to focus, seeker Xeno's eyes fall on the vast assortment of objects that LJB has so artfully and tastefully arranged on the downturned tailgate of the pick-up truck. In the shadows under the wooden camper shell can be seen various beat up cardboard boxes in a state of disarray with their contents spilling out across the bed of the truck. > > "Could I interest you seeker Xeno in various rare and sacred objects guaranteed to begin the cleansing and purifying process to the extent that His Worshipfulness will deign to bestow a brief moment of His coveted attention upon your sorry ass...uh, I mean unrealized small 's' self?" croons LJB in his best Og Mandino impression. > > In a somewhat croaky yet quiet whisper so that seekers Share and Share can't hear, seeker Xeno asks "May I please buy four cups of water to assuage my rabid thirst?" > > "Certainly," smiles LJB as he walks a mere two feet away and dips an empty quart bottle in the clear-flowing river and hands it to seeker Xeno. "That will be $10 please." > > "Now wait just a darn minute, O Laughing One" protests seeker Xeno, who obviously came out of meditation a little too quickly. "Earlier you said water was $2 a cup so by my calculation four cups would only be $8." > > "Yes, dear seeker Xeno, that is true," croons LJB in his most soothing voice. "But four cups is equal to a quart of water, and the price of a quart of water is $10. If you're running low on funds, I conveniently accept credit or debit cards for a very modest 5% surcharge over and above my very fair purchase prices." > > Slightly confused because he came out of meditation a little too quickly, and his rabid thirst getting the better of him, seeker Xeno hands over his gold Amex card to which LJB smiles gleefully as soon as he turns to go ring up the charge. "Why don't I just hold on to this until all our purchases are complete, hmmm?" he asks, to which seeker Xeno, in a daze and staring at a group of people further down the clear-flowing river dipping out cool water by the gallon, mutters, "Huh? Whatever." > > Suddenly, and with utter finality, the veil lifts, and with a clarity of understanding experienced previously only for the very briefest of moments, no longer a seeker Xeno proclaims, "O Laughing One, I am now the one who is laughing because the water is, and has always been, free." > > A momentary look of fear and panic clouds LJB's face as he realizes no longer a seeker Xeno has discovered the truth, but quickly turns to disappointment as he realizes he has just lost his best customer in weeks. "What has been sought has been found. You have no need for these earthly objects nor the attention or presence of my Master Raviji, so go from here and find your own self-proclaimed door lackeys." > > As Xeno is seen disappearing into the setting sun whistling "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" further down the river, seekers Share and Steve can be seen stumbling towards the clearing in which sits the beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck. As the scene slowly fades to black, seeker Share can be heard excitedly saying, "Oh look Stevie at all these wonderful things. I must have one of these and, and three of those and, and...Stevie, would you be a dear and buy us another quart of water...and what are those things in that box back there..." as LJB's face turns from sadness and disappointment to absolute and utter joy, and he croons, "Right this way, seeker Share, right this way. Have I got something special just for you..." > > [to be continued for a substantial yet very modest fee] >
