--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ravi Chivukula <chivukula.ravi@...> wrote: > > LG baby - all that water that you have been selling to those suckers, I > mean seekers - better be from that bowl of Ganga water that I spat in, > otherwise I am going to wipe that fucking laugh off your face and your > title.
http://youtu.be/D88HMQF8W_4 > On Sat, Mar 23, 2013 at 8:05 PM, laughinggull108 > <no_re...@yahoogroups.com>wrote: > > > ** > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 <no_reply@> > > wrote: > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Xenophaneros Anartaxius" > > <anartaxius@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 <no_reply@> > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have > > to go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you wish > > to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with Him in due > > time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of discussion. If He > > chooses not to, then no reason to even post your comments in the first > > place. A very efficient and effective use of His precious time. And please > > try to remember... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket > > counter access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi > > Chivukula Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His > > Toe Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might > > deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my unworthy > > direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention He would feel > > it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High Wisdom through you to > > us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic worshipers of His Greatness. > > > > > > > > > > Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His > > Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate their > > Divine and most Humble power. > > > > > > > > > > > > Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with > > a rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a > > flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads "Water for > > Sale". Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too > > tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His > > Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The > > latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops suddenly > > then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno warily > > approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively safe > > distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing along > > the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft cooing > > sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an occasional > > glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a moment's notice > > should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig snaps loudly under > > seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR awakens with a start > > muttering "...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm..." as if caught between an > > erotic dream and waking reality. > > > > > > > > Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: "Oh Laughing Protector and manner > > of the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in > > the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and > > are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my two > > seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a > > groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered far > > and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a few > > crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His Most > > High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers Share > > and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here now..." > > > > > > > > Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on > > their glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. > > > > > > > > Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that > > he has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: "Yes indeedy...step > > right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I mean > > permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, thirst-quenching > > water is $2 per cup or I can let you have an entire quart for $10. So what > > will it be my most parched and sincere seekers?" > > > > > > > > After a brief consultation among the three seeker companions from whom > > can be heard seeker Xeno "...the cups are cheaper" and seeker Share in her > > most pouty voice "...but I want the quart!", seeker Xeno approaches and > > says: "We'll take two quarts. And by the way, what's RR?" > > > > > > > > The scene fades to black as the first strains of "Amazing Grace" play > > softly in the background. > > > > > > > > [to be continued...] > > > > > > > > > > Scene fades in as the final strains of the gospel "Just As I Am" fade > > out softly in the background. > > > > > > Laughing Jelly Bean, formerly known as LPHHR, with a blissful smile on > > his pudgy yet somewhat handsome face, slips a slightly fatter wallet into > > the folds of his patched dhoti while the three seeker companions, seated on > > heavily worn straw mats for a very, very reasonable $1 per mat per half > > hour, have contented expressions on their faces as seeker Xeno drains the > > last few drops from his quart of water and seeker Share finishes the quart > > that she and seeker Steve decided to share...seeker Steve only drank half a > > cup before handing it to seeker Share, and she never gave it back but that > > doesn't matter to seeker Steve although he licks his still-parched lips as > > he watches the final drops disappear into seeker Share's mouth. > > > > > > Seeker Xeno, with a puzzled yet serene look on his face, keeps glancing > > from the clear-flowing waters of the river just a few feet away to his > > slightly lighter wallet, while seekers Share and Steve stare at each other > > as seeker Share coos softly, "My jelly bean Steve, you bad...but good, if > > you know what I mean..." and seeker Steve, longingly looking towards the > > bushes thirty yards or so away, murmurs "I really need that...". > > > > > > Seeker Xeno, in a calm, confident yet slightly impatient voice, is the > > first to break the silence: "Our physical thirsts have been quenched, oh > > Ticket Counter Keeper, however, our spiritual thirsts within our parched > > beings remain sharp and acute. With all due respect, I feel that we three > > are now ready for some darshan and wisdom from His Holiness, the Big R." > > > > > > LJB, sensing a slightly disrespectful tone in seeker Xeno's referral to > > his Master as the "Big R", responds sharply yet calmly: "Patience, my good > > man, patience...all in good time, all in good time. First, you must prove > > yourselves worthy of even the slightest and briefest of His Most Precious > > Attention, afterwhich we'll determine whether you have advanced enough > > along the path to be admitted to His Most Holy and Exalted Presence. To put > > us in the proper frame of mind, we will now meditate for some time, > > afterwhich you are to awaken me when you feel you are ready to begin your > > journey." > > > > > > Seekers Share and Steve, urgently heading for the bushes, call back in > > one voice like identical twins: "Xeno, back in a few...you can start > > without us." > > > > > > As seeker Xeno is seen positioning himself into full lotus, a proper > > Ghandarvaved raga conducive to deep meditation begins to play softly as the > > scene fades to black. > > > > > > The next scene slowly fades up to the gospel "Shall We Gather at the > > River" intermittant with the Beatles' "Fool on the Hill". > > > > > > Several hours have passed and seeker Xeno appears to be in deep samadhi > > with his head dropped against his chest, and there is no sign of seekers > > Share and Steve. The back of the rickety camper shell on the > > saffron-colored beat up Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck has been opened, and > > LJB can be seen putting the final touches on various and sundry items > > displayed temptingly yet tastefully on the tailgate. > > > > > > When satisfied with his arrangement, LJB nods self-satisfyingly to > > himself, and laughing quietly with a slight air of sinisterness, approaches > > seeker Xeno like a spider approaches his captured prey, bends towards his > > ear and softly whispers: "Now, slowly open the eyes." > > > > > > [...to be continued...maybe] > > > > > > > When we last left LJB and our three seekers, seekers Share and Steve were > > yadda yadda yadda in the lush vegetation just inches away from the > > clear-flowing river while seeker Xeno had spent an indeterminant length of > > time either deep in samadhi or sloughing off hopefully the final remnants > > of deep fatigue in his nervous system...judging from the wet spot on his > > shirt front, we can safely assume the latter. As the scene opens, Nellie > > J's "Price Tag" (http://youtu.be/qMxX-QOV9tI) can be heard playing softly > > from the beat up Sony boom-box on the seat in the cab of the beat up > > saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck. As in the last scene, LJB is > > leaning in close to seeker Xeno, and in a louder and slightly more > > impatient voice says: "Take one or two minutes and slowly open the eyes." > > > > As seeker Xeno's eyes begin to flutter open, seekers Share's and Steve's > > begin to close as the heavy and intoxicatingly sweet fragrance of lilac, > > along with the natural lullaby of the clear-flowing river, gently lulls > > them to sleep...not to mention the velvety cushion of soft green moss > > against which both are languidly reclined. (Happy now, Steve???) > > > > When he is once more able to focus, seeker Xeno's eyes fall on the vast > > assortment of objects that LJB has so artfully and tastefully arranged on > > the downturned tailgate of the pick-up truck. In the shadows under the > > wooden camper shell can be seen various beat up cardboard boxes in a state > > of disarray with their contents spilling out across the bed of the truck. > > > > "Could I interest you seeker Xeno in various rare and sacred objects > > guaranteed to begin the cleansing and purifying process to the extent that > > His Worshipfulness will deign to bestow a brief moment of His coveted > > attention upon your sorry ass...uh, I mean unrealized small 's' self?" > > croons LJB in his best Og Mandino impression. > > > > In a somewhat croaky yet quiet whisper so that seekers Share and Share > > can't hear, seeker Xeno asks "May I please buy four cups of water to > > assuage my rabid thirst?" > > > > "Certainly," smiles LJB as he walks a mere two feet away and dips an empty > > quart bottle in the clear-flowing river and hands it to seeker Xeno. "That > > will be $10 please." > > > > "Now wait just a darn minute, O Laughing One" protests seeker Xeno, who > > obviously came out of meditation a little too quickly. "Earlier you said > > water was $2 a cup so by my calculation four cups would only be $8." > > > > "Yes, dear seeker Xeno, that is true," croons LJB in his most soothing > > voice. "But four cups is equal to a quart of water, and the price of a > > quart of water is $10. If you're running low on funds, I conveniently > > accept credit or debit cards for a very modest 5% surcharge over and above > > my very fair purchase prices." > > > > Slightly confused because he came out of meditation a little too quickly, > > and his rabid thirst getting the better of him, seeker Xeno hands over his > > gold Amex card to which LJB smiles gleefully as soon as he turns to go ring > > up the charge. "Why don't I just hold on to this until all our purchases > > are complete, hmmm?" he asks, to which seeker Xeno, in a daze and staring > > at a group of people further down the clear-flowing river dipping out cool > > water by the gallon, mutters, "Huh? Whatever." > > > > Suddenly, and with utter finality, the veil lifts, and with a clarity of > > understanding experienced previously only for the very briefest of moments, > > no longer a seeker Xeno proclaims, "O Laughing One, I am now the one who is > > laughing because the water is, and has always been, free." > > > > A momentary look of fear and panic clouds LJB's face as he realizes no > > longer a seeker Xeno has discovered the truth, but quickly turns to > > disappointment as he realizes he has just lost his best customer in weeks. > > "What has been sought has been found. You have no need for these earthly > > objects nor the attention or presence of my Master Raviji, so go from here > > and find your own self-proclaimed door lackeys." > > > > As Xeno is seen disappearing into the setting sun whistling > > "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" further down the river, seekers Share and Steve can be > > seen stumbling towards the clearing in which sits the beat up > > saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck. As the scene slowly fades to > > black, seeker Share can be heard excitedly saying, "Oh look Stevie at all > > these wonderful things. I must have one of these and, and three of those > > and, and...Stevie, would you be a dear and buy us another quart of > > water...and what are those things in that box back there..." as LJB's face > > turns from sadness and disappointment to absolute and utter joy, and he > > croons, "Right this way, seeker Share, right this way. Have I got something > > special just for you..." > > > > [to be continued for a substantial yet very modest fee] > > > > > > >
