- Ìàìî, à áîã êàêúâ å, ìúæ èëè æåíà?
- Áîã å åäíîâðåìåííî è ìúæ è æåíà, òîé íå å ñ îïðåäåëåí ïîë.
- Ìàìî, à òîé áÿë ëè å, èëè ÷åðåí? - Áîã, ñèíêî, å
åäíîâðåìåííî è ÷åðåí è áÿë. - Ìàìî, à òîé ñ õîìî èëè ñ õåòåðîñåêñóàëíè
íàêëîííîñòè å? - Òè ïúê! Òîé îáè÷à åäíàêâî è ìúæåòå è æåíèòå, è
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've
got a big problem, doctor. Everytime we're in bed and my husband reaches a
climax, he lets out an outrageous yell." "My dear," the doctor said, "that's
completely natural and healthy, so what's the problem?" "The problem is,
" she
Programmer.zip
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a
trainee. On his firstday, he dialed the pantry and shouted into
the phone, "Get me acoffee, quickly!"The voice from the other
side responded, "You fool you've dialed thewrong extension! Do you know who
you're talking to, dumbo?""No," replied
Enjoy...
Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED][EMAIL PROTECTED]_
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands;
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
Colin Wilson
msphone.jpg
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to
myself would be theunion of a deaf man to a blind woman. -Samuel Taylor
Coleridge
http://www.healthcentral.com/news/newsfulltext.cfm?id=35438StoryType=Reuter
Êîãàòî íà ãîòèí ÷îâåê ìó å êîôòè - òîâà å
áëóñ...Êîãàòî íà êîôòè ÷îâåê ìó å ãîòèíî - òîâà å ÷àëãà...
Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED][EMAIL PROTECTED]_
The mind has exactly the same power as the
hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
Colin Wilson
Q: What do sex in a canoe and Heineken beer have in
common?
A: "Too close to water!"
Dvama starci si govoryat:
- Da ti se oplacha, moyta pishka ot 5 godini ne mi stava!
Drugiyat:
- Iii, da chukna da darvo, moyta samo ot 2!
Boyan Konstantinov
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
_
Don't confuse madness with loss of control.
Paolo Coelho
Izvadka ot edno istinsko CV:
---
"Computer and Internet skills:Design and publishing
of single user oriented web sites"
-
:-))
==Boyan
KonstantinovSoftware engineerSofia IT Lab[EMAIL PROTECTED]==
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car
which said, TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00. A policeman, saw the sign,
stopped
them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
About that time another car passed with a sign on top of it saying, JESUS
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first,
but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the
following:
Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
Íà åäíî ïàðòè ñå ñðåùàò áèâøèÿò è íàñòîÿùèÿò ñúïðóçè íà
åäíà äàìà. Ñëåä íÿêîëêî ïèòèåòà áèâøèÿò ðåøèë äà ñå çàÿäå è ïîïèòàë íîâèÿ: -
Å, êàê ñå ÷óâñòâàòå ïðè óïîòðåáàòà íà ñòîêà âòîðà ðúêà? Íà êîåòî íîâèÿò
îòãîâîðèë: - Å, ñëåä êàòî ìèíåø ïúðâèòå 6 ñì âñè÷êî å êàòî ÷èñòî
íîâî!
[EMAIL
Ñòóäåíò ñå ÿâÿâà íà èçïèò ïî ñîöèîëîãèÿ. Ïðåïîäàâàòåëÿò ãî ïèòà: -
Êàæåòå ìè, ñïîðåä âàñ, â íàøè äíè ïðåñòúïíîñòòà ïàäà ëè èëè ñå óâåëè÷àâà?
Ñòóäåíòúò ñëåä êðàòúê ðàçìèñúë îòãîâàðÿ: - Ïàäà, ðàçáèðà ñå! Ïî âðåìåòî
íà Êàéí è Àâåë å áèëà 50%...
Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED
attachment: airport.jpg
Znamenit amerikanski hipnotizator izliza pred
dvehilqdna publika. Toi zastava v sredata na stsenata, gleda vtrencheno v
publikata i kazva: - Dance! Vsichki stavat i zapochvat da tantsuvat.
- Cry!! Vsichki spirat da tantsuvat i zapochvat da plachat. -
Laugh!Vsichki zapochvat da se smeqt. V
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly
by.
-- Douglas Adams
http://web.dir.bg/miroslav/lafove.html
Bulgarian Lafs in English.url
Åäíà ñåäìèöà íà sysadmin-a
MONDAY
8:05
Îáàäè ñå ïîòðåáèòåë ÷å ñè å çàáðàâèë ïàðîëàòà. Êaçàõ ìó äà èçïîëçâà
ïðîãðàìàòà çà âúçñòàíîâàâÿâàíå íà ïàðîëàòà íàðå÷åíà FDISK. Áëàæåííî íåâåæ,
òîé ìè áëàãîäàðè è çàòâîðè. Áîæå è òåçè õîðà ãëàñóâàò è øîôèðàò?
8:12
Ñ÷åòîâîäèòåëêàòà ñå
adv468x60.gif
delphierr.bmp
Description: Windows bitmap
Äâàìà ãåéìúðè îòèâàò íà êèíî. Ôèëìúò å "Ïðèøúëåöúò". Â
íàé-íàïðåãíàòèÿìîìåíò, êîãàòî ãåðîèíÿòà îùå ìàëêî è ùå áúäå èçÿäåíà îò
Ïðèøúëåöà åäèíèÿò ñåïðîâèêâà:- ÑÅÉÂÍÈ ÑÀ ÌÀ, ÑÅÉÂÍÈ ÑÀ!
Ñ èçíàìèðàíåòî íà ÷åêîâèòå ñóìè, íà ïðîãðàìèòå çà êîðåêöèÿ è
àðõèâèðàíå
EE
Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]_
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not
merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
Colin Wilson
Ñêèíàð ñåäè íà ïîêðèâà
íà âèñîêà ñãðàäà. Äî íåãî
ïóøêà òèï "ïîìïà" ñ
îïòè÷åñêè ìåðíèê è òîðáà
òðåâà. Ñêèíàðÿò ïîäïèðà ïîìïàòà
íà ðàìîòî ñè, ïðèöåëâà ñå,
áúðêà â òîðáàòà ñ
òðåâàòà, õâàùà åäíà ñòèñêà,
ïðîòÿãà ðúêà íàä òðîòîàðà
è ñòðèâà òðåâàòà:
- Õèïè-õèïè-õèïè-õèïè
Pet#rcho razkazva na Ivancho:
- Samo da znaesh, mama beshe bremenna izv#nmatochno i izvadiha bebeto prez
korema.
Ivancho:
- A maika mi p#k beshe zabremenqla izv#ntatochno i tate i go izkara prez
nosa.
Boyan Konstantinov
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
_
Love is like quicksilver in the hand
http://www.brunching.com/cgi/toy-cyborger.cgi?acronym=sirma
http://www.coolspyproducts.com/cyberdetective/
==Boyan
KonstantinovSoftware engineerSofia IT Lab[EMAIL PROTECTED]==
"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because
it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs."
-- Rodney Lee
==Boyan
KonstantinovSoftware engineerSofia IT Lab[EMAIL PROTECTED]==
http://bg.metavisia.com/projects/roadrunner/roadrunner.html
Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]_Much
Madness is divinest SenseTo a discerning EyeMuch Sense--the starkest
Madness.
-Emily Dickinson
BEGIN:VCARD
VERSION:2.1
N:Konstantinov;Boyan
FN:Boyan Konstantinov
ORG:Sofia IT Lab
TITLE:Software engineer
TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912
TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407
ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria
LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:IZOT Business Center=0D=0ASofia
http://free.bol.bg/simeonsk/
http://yugop.com/ver3/stuff/29/bclock.html
The 331st tip : Watch out for such things on a production environment :-)
attachment: jadcentral.JPG
333: znam, vidqh go sled tova, i vse pak e dobre da ne gr#mne chak taka ;-)
- Original Message -
From: borislav popov [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: Boyan Konstantinov [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Wednesday, January 16, 2002 9:40 AM
Subject: Re: [JOKES] Re: 330 Java Programming tips
332nd tip : url
za spravka: http://www.post.bg
i http://www.post.bg/weather/
attachment: weather.jpg
http://news.dir.bg/index.php?url=feature.php%3Fid%3D15005
Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]--
Oh, the wind, it is a song that harbours through
the winterOh, the sail, it is a door that bids the song to enterAnd let
us sail
Чайник - начинаещ потребител, ненастъпил още мотиката и затова уверен, че
мотики не съществуват.
Леймър - потребител, редовно настъпващ мотиките, но продължаващ да вярва,
че мотики не съществуват.
Тесен специалист - потребител, овладял до съвършенство настъпването на
едни и
http://www.microsoft.com[EMAIL PROTECTED]/nyheter/feb01/Q209354%20-%20HOWTO.htm
==Boyan
KonstantinovSoftware engineerSofia IT Lab[EMAIL PROTECTED]==
BEGIN:VCARD
VERSION:2.1
N:Konstantinov;Boyan
FN:Boyan Konstantinov
NICKNAME:Phaethon
http://www.crosswinds.net/~sfictionbg/autors/raznibozi/Oda_prog.htm
Boyan Konstantinov
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
--
Wandering in the deep of the night
A thousand birds take flight
And our dreams are born
On the wings of change
We are weaving
http://www.funmunch.com/humor/enlarge/time.swf
Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED]--
Wandering in the deep of the nightA thousand birds take flightAnd
our dreams are bornOn the wings of changeWe are weaving the world
tonight
A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.
B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also
suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than
http://www.cnsys.bg/files.html?prj=20465
BEGIN:VCARD
VERSION:2.1
N:Konstantinov;Boyan
FN:Boyan Konstantinov
NICKNAME:Phaethon
ORG:Sofia IT Lab
TITLE:Software engineer
TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912
TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407
ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business Center;Sofia;;1116;Bulgaria
Istinski citat ot poslednata pesen na George
Michael - Freeek:
You got yourself some actionSaid you got your sexy JavaYou
got your speed connectionFree chat, that, get a little harder
Moje bi noviq hymn na Java obshtestvoto :-)
Boyan Konstantinov[EMAIL PROTECTED
http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/2002/LAW/1/4/gates.murder.01/index.html
BEGIN:VCARD
VERSION:2.1
N:Konstantinov;Boyan
FN:Boyan Konstantinov
NICKNAME:Phaethon
ORG:Sofia IT Lab
TITLE:Software engineer
TEL;WORK;VOICE:+359 2 9718912
TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 88 346407
ADR;WORK:;;IZOT Business
Duh! Only in America!
The Stella Awards - America at its very best!
The "Stella" awards rank
up there with the Darwin awards. In 1994, a
New Mexico jury awarded $ 2.9 million U.S. in damages to
81-year-oldStella Liebeck who
suffered third-degree burns to her
ëÒÁÔËÉÊ ËÕÒÓ ÁÎÇÌÉÊÓËÏÇÏ ÑÚÙËÁ ÄÌÑ ÉÎÖÅÎÅÒÏ×.
óÁn YÏu hÅÁr mÅ - ôÙ ÍÏÖÅÛØ ÍÅÎÑ ÚÄÅÓØ.
UndrÅssÅd ÓustÏm mÏdÅl - çÏÌÁÑ ÔÁÍÏÖÅÎÎÁÑ ÍÏÄÅÌØ.
íÁniÓurÅ - äÅÎØÇÉ ÌÅÞÁÔ.
I'm just Ásking - ñ ×ÓÅÇÏ ÌÉÛØ ËÏÒÏÌØ ÖÏÐ.
I hÁvÅ bÅÅn thÅrÅ - õ ÍÅÎÑ ÔÁÍ ÆÁÓÏÌØ.
GÏd ÏnlÕ knÏws - åÄÉÎÓÔ×ÅÎÎÙÊ ÎÏÓ ÂÏÇÁ.
WÅ ÁrÅ thÅ
Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ :)Message
box na Internet Exploder pri p#len sriv:
ne :))
- Original Message -
From:
Hursev
To: Boyan Konstantinov
Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002
18:39
Subject: Re: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error
dialogs v M$
abe si da ne pishesh mail client i da go testwash
w momenta
- Original Message
the phone and I say Yellow?...
Boyan Konstantinov
Software Engineer
Sofia IT Lab
www.sofiaitlab.com
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
ICQ#:8853846
(+3592) 971 89 10
(+3592) 971 89 11
(+3592) 971 89 12
attachment: It was a cold night.jpg
British doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we
cantake a brain out of one man, put it in another and have him looking
forwork in six weeks."
A German doctor says, "That`s nothing, we can take abrain out of one
person, put it in another and have him preparing forwar in
attachment: 37.gif
vermeer.jpg
Womencan't understand them
attachment: womencomplicated.jpg
Title: Message
Ne che zashtitavam "smeshni presidenti" no ti kak
razbra che e narek#l indiicite indianci?
Oshte ot Columbovo vreme i poradi Columbovi greshki
dumata e s#shtata
- Original Message -
From:
Minko Blyantov
To: JOKES
Sent: Tuesday, June 10, 2003 4:46
PM
certmrg.jpg
. ,
.
.
. , :
-- . .
. .
, :
-- . .
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
* send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
* PLEASE do not post offensive jokes
* message size limit is 150 KB
*
sigurno vi e omr#znalo ot podobni, no tova si
struva po skromnoto mi mnenie:)
WebTrance ochevidno v LSD-trance :)
,
,
Original:
You with your music forgot the main thing
is that in the chest of those out of tuneDeep within the
chestbeating quietly That in
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