[JOKES] IT consultant

>George W. Bush and Tony Blair are standing and talking together in a bar. >The bartender asks them what they are talking about. >"We are planning world war 3", answers Bush. >"Ooohh" says the bartender. "What are the plans"? >"We will kill 14 millions of Muslims and 1 IT consultant", Bush

[JOKES] Secret diaries

http://home.nyu.edu/~amw243/diaries/

[JOKES] ITALIAN CORPORATION

> > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION> > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.   After the lunch a subcontractor calls to figure out what has happen to the specs of the cow-milking device you've promissed to send him a week ago. You explain him the meeting with the f

[JOKES] Latin

http://www.tigress.com/emax/latin.html

[JOKES] caffeine substitute

Sleep is just a week substitute of caffeine, and they've found a stronger one.

[JOKES] Re: IsPowerOf2

IsPowerOf2(    IN  UINT    uPow2    ){     //     // Hem sme po-krasiwi, hem sme po dobri:     // (drug e wyprosa towa topli li ni poweche :)     //     return u != 0 && (u & (u - 1)) == 0; }   - Original Message - From: Manski Fransazov To: Jokes Sent: Wednesday,

[JOKES] Hotdogs

http://www.thismodernworld.com/weblog/images/hotdogs.jpg

Re: [JOKES] Pak M$ i BG ministar

âÅ ÞÏ×ÅËÁ ÓÉ ËÁÚ×Á (ÃÉÔÉÒÁÍ): "ÎÁÄ 50%" ÔÏ×Á ÆÏÒÍÁÌÎÏ ÐÏÇÌÅÄÎÁÔÏ ÏÚÎÁÞÁ×Á, ÞÅ ÔÏÞÎÉÑ ÐÒÏÃÅÎÔ Å ÐÒÏÉÚ×ÏÌÎÏ ÞÉÓÌÏ × ÉÎÔÅÒ×ÁÌÁ (50, 100], × ÞÁÓÔÎÏÓÔ ÍÏÖÅ É ÄÁ Å 95 ;-) - Original Message - From: "Angel Kirilov" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Jokes" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, June 07

[JOKES] Otherwise engaged

<>

[JOKES] mydrost ot wekowete

>  If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,>  if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.>  >>  I was born intelligent>  - education ruined me.>>  >>  A bus stati

[JOKES] Golden Thoughts

http://www.theochem.kth.se/~pawsa/mind.html

[JOKES] proekta "Genesis:

http://donangel.h1.ru/genesis.html

[JOKES] Death Star

http://www.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/books/velvetelvis_deathstar2.jpg

[JOKES] BEATALLICA

Pichowe (i Vie Dami), this thing REALLY ROCKS!   Local access (inside sirma.bg400.bg):   \\jerk0main\BEATALLICA\INDEX.HTM   WWW access: http://beatallica.rootthis.com/   Sirmaniaci, molq dyrpajte ot moq disk za da ne umira i-net-a, (ako i da umre workstation-a mi ;-)

[JOKES] http://pchela-maya.ru/skill_to_be_happy/

http://pchela-maya.ru/skill_to_be_happy/

[JOKES] Sep 11 divorce

http://tlf.cx/bilder/tn/Sep11-divorce.jpg.ths.html

[JOKES] don't fly me

http://tlf.cx/bilder/tn/areyougay.jpg.ths.html

[JOKES] Guess who's wearing the ring

<>

[JOKES] Dodge Viper (or at least its engine) forever !

Kojto ne se interesuwa ot koli, motocikleti i stranni hibridi mezhdu tqh nqma nuzhda da follow-wa sledniq link:   http://moto.zonebg.com/news/index.php?newsid=356

Re: [JOKES] UI :)

I az ne znam dali sa izpolzwali "Focus Groups" za da reshat che trqbwa da e sinq muha, no imam ideq zashto sa reshili da e "slightly to the left" - Mazhete znaqt zashto ;-) - Original Message - From: Stefan Dimov To: Jokes Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 5:00 PM

[JOKES] Re: staja pod naem

Ami ako wse taka prodylzhawa da mi e trudno da idwam na rabota do 10:00 am, mozhe bi shte trqbwa da q naema. - Original Message - From: "Tsvetan Alexiev" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 5:19 PM Subject: staja pod naem > Zdrawejte, > pak malk

[JOKES] Vylko Gyzurchev

Ñàìèÿò âèö Ñëåä óñòàíîâÿâàíå íà Íàðîäíàòà âëàñò íà 9-òè Ñåïòåìâðè ñå ïðàâÿò ïðîìåíè è â åæåäíåâíèÿ áèò íà õîðàòà. Íåãðàìîòíîñòòà ñå ëèêâèäèðà. Ïðåìàõâàò ñå áóðæîàçíè îñòàòúöè êàòî äâîéíèòå èìåíà íàïðèìåð. Íÿêúäå ïðåç 50-òå ñå ïîäåìà êàìïàíèÿ çà ïîäìÿíà íà íåáëàãîçâó÷íè è ãðîçíè èìåíà. Òà ïðå

[JOKES] Druga Obqwa

Âîæäå, ìîæåø ëè äà ìè êàæåø ñ êàêâî òàÿ îáÿâà å ïî-îôàíçèâíà îò ïðåäèøíàòà? - Original Message - From: "Ivan Terziev" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Jokes" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 3:54 PM Subject: [JOKES] Obqwa > > > <>

[JOKES] sukrashtawane na obiknoweni drobi

http://resursadefun.ro/gi9_Matematica_blonde.htm   Don't take life too seriously because you can't come out of it alive.-Warren Miller

[JOKES] all the equipment

A couple goes on a vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to tak

[JOKES] tickets

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes.When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him

[JOKES] only the trucks

Britain decided it was time to switch left lane traffic to right lane traffic, the same as everywhere else in Europe. So they gathered to plan the whole thing and nobody seemed to come up with any viable solution, so they sent out some help-me type faxes. A couple of days later, answ

[JOKES] ... cannot be displayed

http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/   NOTE: if at first glance the page seems not to be there take a closer look.  

[JOKES] creative usage of English

  - Original Message - From: Philip Tsvetkov To: Toma Tonchev Sent: Wednesday, February 26, 2003 5:27 PM The following signs have been found in various locations, using the Englishlanguage somewhat creatively...Cocktail lounge, Norway:LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN TH

[JOKES] what happened last night

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that i

[JOKES] Set that bug on fire

(Припява се в акомпанимента на 'Light my Fire')   Във кода броди страшен бъг,коварен лепкав и космат,и процедурите гърмят,във средновековен мрак.   Come on Крумчо light my fire,try to set the bugs on fire ...   Със unit test-ове тръгни,по дирите на този звяр,където бил е там бъди,и в кода но

Re: [JOKES] Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003 10:43:52 +0300

Тия типове шеги не са ми точно смешни, а предполагам и изпращателя няма да може да се посмее, защото не може да види реакцията на този, с когото се е пошегувал. Та предложението ми е: като се пращат такива неща да се обозначават с думата "Хипно-сеанс" и които иска ще си ги гледа. Знам че так

Re: [JOKES] Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003 10:43:52 +0300

sudden seizures което е точно това 'предупредително' за което се боря.   - Original Message - From: Boris Chervenkov To: 'Stanislav Jordanov' ; 'Jokes' Sent: Friday, June 27, 2003 11:25 AM Subject: RE: [JOKES] Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003 10:43:

[JOKES] JUST A QUESTION OF STANDARDS

  JUST A QUESTION OF STANDARDS Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells...? The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That is an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that is the way they built them in Englan

[JOKES] evolution

Komentar na priqtel, kojto naskoro se sdobi s dyshterq: ... ne mi e jasno kak sa oceleli kolikite ewoljucionno. bih predpolozhil che dosega wsichki shte sme naslednici na bebetata, koito ne sa aktiwno okurazhawali roditelite si da gi udushat/zakoljat/hwyrljat otwisoko.

[JOKES] Predskazanie - C# will fail!

http://www.slackware.ru/article.ghtml?ID=544

[JOKES] knock-out

Myzh - fanatik na tema boks. Mach za titlata "swetowen shampion". Edin chas predi macha - trygwa si ot rabota i po pytja kupuwa 5 biri i 3 paketa chips. Polowin chas predi macha - pribira se w kyshti, slaga birata w kamerata i sipwa chipsa w kupi. 5 minuti predi nachaloto - premestwa biri

[JOKES] Come and visit Bulgaria - Your car is already here!

http://www.discover-bulgaria.com/Forum/showtopic.aspx?tid=41&p=1

[JOKES] test

http://www.hekkuli.org/~hekkuli/flash/gaytest.swf

[JOKES] minimals

ТРИ КЪСИ КРИМИНАЛНИ РАЗКАЗА Къс криминален разказ Bcичкo започна с един среднощен телефонен звън. Вдигнах телефона - беше грешка. Много къс криминален разказ Bcичкo започна с един среднощен телефонен звън. Изобщо не вдигнах телефона. Адски къс (съвършен) криминален разказ Аз нямам телефон.  

[JOKES] imenno-djambure

Aвmopa u Xудожника на книгата посвещават този забавен и безсмислен meкcm на вcички знайни и незнайни измислячи Преди да поканите момиче на вечеря измийте си главата с Шампоан дьо Сент Екзюпери и си cложeтe шапка тип Борсалино Вентура. Aкo ще ходите на излет, по-добре да си сложите Kacкeт Ст

[JOKES] ISOnational-a

На крак, о одитирани презрени, на крак, о роби на ISO*, потиснати и унизени рипайте срещу враго!   - * тук по-бързите словом могат да добавят "9001:2000"

[JOKES] Zhytwa

Запили се в някаква селска кръчма посред бял ден мъжете, докато жените жънели долу в нивите. Пили що пили, пели що пели, накрая, както му е редът, взели та се сбили. Такъв бой паднал, че излезли да се бият пред кръчмата. По едно време един от мелето се измъкнал, погледнал към жените и се про

[JOKES] Chen Lee

 A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later he received this report : MOST HONORABLE SIR : YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE. HE COME TO HOUSE, I WATCH. HE AND SHE LE

[JOKES] doggie style

The latest sex study has determined that the most often used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.

[JOKES] mutrobarok

do kakwo dostiga obiknowenija mutrobarok, kogato se polee s dostatychno neft: Zhilistni blokowe w Moscow: http://www.ixbt.com/multimedia/daisy/photoclip-dm3400/DMC_0002.JPG

[JOKES] The new Mercedes SLR

Това е статия от Jay Leno за тестдрайв-а му на новия Mercedes SLR; Generally it's not a joke (за което ше прощавате) но на някои от вас ще им бъде забавно да я прочетат. I remember a guy jumping on the brakes coming into the pits, and fire was coming out between the wheel wells. I looked in a

[JOKES] Black-jokes

http://news.bg/article.php?cid=31&pid=0&aid=133133

[JOKES] Motiki allaround

http://forums.unibg.org/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4076

[JOKES] Corporate policies

1. In the beginning was the Plan. 2. And then came the Assumptions. 3. And the Assumptions were without form. 4. And the Plan was without Substance. 5. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. 6. And the Workers spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks." 7. And the

[JOKES] VAZ vs. AZLK

Мисля, че това слага край на задочния спор сред доайените на бг-автомобилизмът: "ВАЗ или АЗЛК е по-яката марка?" http://tisho.triada-soft.bg/fun/attachments/419junior_1071800652_gipsy.jpg =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED]

[JOKES] Why new cars are bad for your eyesight

http://www.rawbw.com/~marka/cgi-bin/genpage.cgi/geek/uglycars.html

[JOKES] Creeping death

A *must-hear* for all former or current Metallica fans: http://free.data.bg/izakaron/_DATA/_MP3/DOKAKA_-_Creeping_Death.mp3

[JOKES] avtogol

Тана макаса рат кунде ропуч зенро орпат тапик нукс лашын... Вы только что прочитали древнее индийское заклинание, которое оградит Вас от половых контактов на многие десятилетия.

[JOKES] A TEST OF YOUR MORALITY AND ETHICS

With all your honour and dignity - what would you do? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. Please don't answer it without giving it some serious thinking... By giving an honest answer you will be able to test where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely,

[JOKES] are you getting enough?

http://www.sofiaitlab.com/fun/microsoft.jpg

[JOKES] auto-slalom

http://personal.sirma.bg/stenly/photos/gaz_do_dolu.jpg   Wyzmozhni comentari kym snimkata:   1. ... tate hubawo mi kaza - stoj w kolata i ne pipaj nishto ...   2. ... maj trqbwashe da otpusna gasta predi zawoq ...   3. Nokian HKPL2: ne wqrwajte ako wi razprawqt, che i wsesezonnite gumi wyrs

[JOKES] Fw: work?

> In prison, you spend most of your time in an 8 x 10 cell. > >>>At work, you spend most of your time in a 6 x 8 cubicle. > >>> > >>>In prison, you get three meals a day. > >>>At work, you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. > >>> > >>>In prison, you get time off for good be

[JOKES] Kip smiling!

Note: forwarded message attached. __ Do You Yahoo!? Send online invitations with Yahoo! Invites. http://invites.yahoo.com -Original Message- From: Scharloo, Rita Sent: Tuesday, April 18, 2000 9:45 AM To: Rachid, Nesrin; Janssen, Fenn

[JOKES] Attention C programmers !

http://www.ralentz.com/old/mac/humor/mpw-c-errors.html

[JOKES] Oh boy...

Title: Oh boy... www.sirma.bg/stenly/evolution.doc  

[JOKES] The Essential Guide to Women's English

- Original Message - From: "Teodora" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, November 17, 2000 9:06 PM Subject: FW: FW: The Essential Guide to Women's English > Pyrvija Zhensko-Myzhki rechnik. Za vsichki, koito govorjat na razlichni > ezici, kogato si obshtuvat s po-ne

[JOKES] za po-tyrpeliwite

"BLACK NOVEMBER"When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,And he told me there was something that I had to know;His look and his tone I will always remember,When he told me of the horrors of. "BLAC

[JOKES] Молитва на набожния програмист

... É ÎÅËÁ ÄÁ ÎÉ ÐÏÍÁÇÁ, ÄÁ ÎÉ ÐÁÚÉ, × ÉÍÅÔÏ ÎÁ - É Ó×ÅÔÁ ÇÏ .     .

[JOKES] ---

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.

[JOKES] rednecks

http://www.twistedhumor.com/redneck/easy.shtml

[JOKES] The f-word (case study)

http://www.sirma.bg/stenly/fword.wav

[JOKES] comunicado

Dwama owchari na dwa otdalecheni baira si comunikirat: Pesho: "Ehehehee, Gooosh, shte pribirame li owcteee ???" Gosho: "Tc!"

[JOKES] trick || treat

http://phd.stanford.edu/archive.cfm?comicid=6

[JOKES] ...

Title: FW: Fw: ed - jokes   too_tired_for_sex.jpg

[JOKES] Re: bud fixing

> Po zapoved na nachalnika ot tazi data se zabraniava vnasianeto na hranitelni produkti v ofisite. Tuj otkroweno kazano ne go wizhdam da se poluchi. Naj-mnogo da stane kato w kazarmata - oficialno e zabraneno wnasqneto i syhranqwaneto na hrana w spalnite pomeshteniq a pri wnimatelno pretyrswane m

[JOKES] Buhenwald

1999г. Евреите ветерани от 2-та Световна война решили да посетят лагера Бухенвалд . Сьбрали се в един рейс и трьгнали на пьт, но за беда рейса се развалил в последното село преди крайната точка .Шофьорьт разбрал, че не може сам да оправи рейса и трьгнал да тьрси помощ . Почукал на една кьща

[JOKES] Dirigent

Врачка спира диригент на улицата и почва да му гледа на ръка. Вижда, че той утре ще умре, но не знае как да му го каже. - Ъъ, батее, абе ти с тая ръка много хора ръководиш, командваш. - Да, вярно е, аз съм диригент. - А така, диригент, диригент, ма ти и на оня свят пак диригент ша бъдеш, неб

[JOKES] Management Lessons

> >Subject: FW: Management Lessons > >Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 14:01:01 +0200 > > > >This might be some advice in your future careers. > > > >Lesson Number One > > > >A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit > >saw the crow, and asked him, > >"Can I also sit like you and

[JOKES] Cryptographic Hash Functions

Ne bih opredelil sledniq text kato smeshen, no pasazha w cherveno opredeleno e zabawen: (an excerpt from: http://www.eskimo.com/~weidai/algorithms.html) Cryptographic Hash Functions MD5 (Message Digest Algorithm 5) is a secure hash algorithm developed at RSA Data Security, Inc. It can b

[JOKES] polet Q33NY

Polet Q33NY na America Airlines za New York zakrit zawinagi. Obqsnenie - 1. write `Q33NY' in a new WordPad document; 2. set font size to 72; 3. set font to Wingdings;

[JOKES] Shtrunci*

Ot awtora na "Ajliashko" (Po zhelanie na Naso) Ùðóíöè* Ùðóíöè* Êîé õëîïà â òîçè êúñåí ÷àñ? ** Àç õëîïàì – êàçà Ùðóíöè.

[JOKES] Intonacionnata

Posluchaj Dimitrovden!Intonacionnata Udacno prodylzhenie w toq duh: Gradskata 100 kila rakija Cherno more i t.n.

[JOKES] Loshadi

http://www.djangar.ru/prikol.php

[JOKES] 10 programista

http://clubs.dir.bg/showthreaded.php?Cat=17&Board=fantasy&Number=1936936618&page=1&view=collapsed&sb=5&part=

Re: [JOKES] what does SIRMA mean? :-)

http://www.brunching.com/cgi/toy-cyborger.cgi?acronym=Windows

[JOKES] kandidat

S napylno osyznata otgowornost za ewentualnite posledstwiq zaqwqwam gotownosta si da izpylnq rolqta na Snezhanka na detskoto koledno party. Zashtoto edin istinski patriot ne pita "Kakwo mozhe da naprawi Koleda za men?" Edin istinski patriot se pita "Kakwo moga da naprawq az za Koleda?" Nqkoi

[JOKES] excerpts from real-life C++ software:

char chPeopleReallyShouldStartUsingSTLStrings[1024]; TCPoint GetLocation(TDateTime dtToday); //where do you want to go today? ERROR("What a mess") ASSERT(!"Not implemented and not implementable!"); TErrCode CVXImage::IAmTooScaredToDeleteLoadVXImage(...)

[JOKES] radio Erevan

Ïîïèòàëè ðàäèî Åðåâàí:- Ïî êàêâî ÷îâåêà ïðèëè÷à íà êîìïþòúðà?- Ñúùî êàòî êîìïþòúðà íà ìëàäè ãîäèíè ÷îâåê èìà äîñòàòú÷íî õàðäóåð è ìàëêî ñîôòóåð, íà ñòàðèíè ñîôòóåðà å â èçîáèëèå, íî âñå íå äîñòèãà õàðäóåðà. Ïîïèòàëè Ðàäèî Åðåâàí:- Êàêâà å ðàçëèêàòà ìåæäó ÍÐÁ è ÐÁ?- Ñúùàòà, êàòî òàçè ìåæäó ÎÄ

[JOKES] Chapaj

×àïàåâ ñå ïîêàçà íà òåðàñàòà, âãëåäà ñå â çåçäíîòî íåáå è ñå ïðîâèêíà:- Êàêâà êðàñîòà!- Ìàéêàòà, ìàéêàòà, ìàéêàòà... - îòãîâîðè åõîòî ïî íàâèê.

[JOKES] YE's law of bandwidth

YE's law of bandwidth: the 5 KB "Skip Intro" GIF always loads AFTER the 500 KB intro Flash.

[JOKES] the Russion word for FAQ

×àÂÎ (FAQ) - îòâåòû íà ×àñòî Çàäàâàåìûå Âîïðîñû =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.b

[JOKES] The Army Officer's Aptitude Test

The Army Officer’s Aptitude Test You are a Lieutenant. You have a Sergeant, two Privates, two 9' poles, an 11' pole, three 6' lengths of rope, a post hole digger, and a U.S. flag. In 30 seconds or less, tell me how you will erect a 14 1/2' flagpole.     The correct answer is: “Sergeant, get