ShopTalk: Groan!

[tflan]

Since this appears to be a slow week, I thought I'd share this tale with y'all.   TFlan         >Two Catholic Boys > > > > > >There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and > > >Secola Antonio, whose lives paralleled each other in > > >amazing ways. In the same year that Timothy was born > > >in Ireland, Secola was born in Italy. Faithfully they > > >attended parochial school from kindergarten through > > >high school. They took their vows to enter the > > >priesthood early in college and, upon graduation, > > >became priests. > > > > > >Their rise through the ranks -- Monseigneur, bishop, > > >archbishop, cardinal -- was widely regarded as > > >astonishing. It was generally acknowledged, however, > > >that Secola was a cut above Timothy in all respects. > > >The Catholic world expected that when the present pope > > >died, probably Secola, but certainly one of the two, > > >would become the next pope. > > > > > >In time the pope did die, and the College of Cardinals > > >went to work. In less time than anyone expected, white > > >smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to > > >see whom they had chosen. The world, Catholic, > > >Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that > > >Timothy Murphy had been elected. Secola Antonio was > > >beyond surprise; he was devastated, because even with > > >all of Timothy's gifts, Secola knew he was the better > > >qualified. With gall that shocked the cardinals, > > >Secola asked for a private session with them in which > > >he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?" > > > > > >After a long silence, an old cardinal took pity on the > > >bewildered man and rose to reply. "We knew you were > > >the better of the two, but we just could not bear the > > >thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church > > >being called Pope Secola."