Hi everybody,
Thought this was funny. LOL
Might as well turn out as a very sad reality in the
not so distant future. Hope NOT, it's... unspeakable.
The Euro English
The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby
English
will be the official language of the European Union
rather than
German,
which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this
will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This
should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be
expekted
to reach the stage wher! e more komplikated changes
are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
"e" in the
languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords
kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted
in ze
forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
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