Submit! Why is submit such a bad thing? Is it just something that culturally, psychologically, tends to produce a reflexive reaction that says �No way I submit to anything or anyone.�
Granted we may differ in the extent, degree, and to whom we do this to, but certainly we don�t see submission as the beast itself? Do we? Isn�t submission putting your own agenda aside for someone else�s, whether for a moment, or for a certain amount of time? Isn�t that part of healthy relationships? Is there something psychologically terrible that some see in the act of submission??? We submit all the time, don�t we? When my government sends me a 1040, I submit to the law and complete it accurately. When the light turns red, I submit to the local authorities and stop. When my boss asks me for a report I submit to his leadership and do it. And don�t couples mutually submit to each other, in some sense? Haven�t you ever did something for your wife or husband, even if you didn�t want to, for the greater good of the family? Isn�t that part of the problem with marriages today � each person wants it his/her way, and wants a spouse that will bend and conform to his/her desires. I do a fair amount of marriage counseling, and see a lot of conflicted couples who refuse to submit to the greater good. Each wants the other one to grow up, to accede to their wishes, etc., but is often unwilling to respond in kind! Marriage is not just about finding the right person, it is being the right person. It is giving and loving and serving. Non-religious marriages may be more egalitarian, and therefore preferable, but isn't there mutual submission occurring there too? After all, the biggest change in my marriage was learning to submit to my wife�s needs and desires, and she to mine. When my wife asks me to take the kids to the grocery store because she�s had them all day I submit to her wishes for the greater good of the family. When my wife asks me to take the trash out every night because she simply doesn�t want to, I submit to her request. I submit to my wife all the time, esp when I see her needs as greater in that situation than mine. Any time she goes through a period of unhappiness it may be partly due to my inability, perhaps unwillingness, to ascertain how to fulfill some of her needs. Certainly we�re not haggling over submission itself, are we? I submit the world becomes a better place with more of this thang, not less. Jim ************************************************************************ Jim Guinee, Ph.D. Director of Training & Adjunct Professor President, Arkansas College Counselor Association University of Central Arkansas Counseling Center 313 Bernard Hall Conway, AR 72035 USA (501) 450-3138 (office) (501) 450-3248 (fax) "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -Eleanor Roosevelt ************************************************************************** --- You are currently subscribed to tips as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
