Rod Hetzel wrote:
> Jim:
>
> I agree with you that submission is important in marriage, although I
> would emphasize the idea of mutual submission. If one (or both) partner
> is not willing to submit to the other, then a power differential will
> exist and one partner will most likely end up being oppressed to some
> degree.
Mutual submission sounds cool. But a word of caution. Submission is often
accompanied by bowing. If two people do it at the same time, they bump heads
;)
But seriously, isn't this language silly? IF oppression is the opposite
of submission, and power is involved in (either as cause or reaction to)
submission, isn't this recommending mutual oppression? The model of marraiage
that emerges is two people alernating oppression on each other.
A modest proposal: All those tipsters who have successfully managed 10 or
more years of marriage (to the same person) and managed a few laughs (in
addition to the inevitable bumps) ought to compile their collective wisdom
into a book. I offer the first bit of anecdotal advice: Ditch the political
language. It gets in the way of seeing your spouse as they are - their needs,
their wants, their wishes, unadorned by politics.
Sorry, no peer-reviewed references on this one - not even Psych Reports!
;)
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John W. Kulig [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Department of Psychology http://oz.plymouth.edu/~kulig
Plymouth State College tel: (603) 535-2468
Plymouth NH USA 03264 fax: (603) 535-2412
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"What a man often sees he does not wonder at, although he knows
not why it happens; if something occurs which he has not seen before,
he thinks it is a marvel" - Cicero.
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