John: 

Excellent point about bumping heads.  I also respect your comment about
ditching political language.  So, for assistance in selecting a less
politically-charged word, I took a look at www.thesaurus.com.  The
results are below.  From now on, I personally am going to use the term
"eating dirt" instead of "submitting."  Please go back to all of my old
posts and substitute "mutual dirt eating" for "mutual submission." 

Eating dirt for you,

Rod


[Nouns] submission, yielding, nonresistance, obedience, surrender,
cession, capitulation, resignation, backdown, obeisance, homage,
kneeling, genuflexion, courtesy, curtsy, kowtow, prostration.

[Verbs] succumb, submit, yeild, bend, resign, defer to, lay down one's
arms, deliver up one's arms, lower colors, haul down colors, strike
one's flag, strike colors, surrender, surrender at discretion, cede,
capitulate, come to terms, retreat, beat a retreat, draw in one's horns,
give way, give round, give in, give up, cave in, suffer judgement by
default, bend, bend to one's yoke, bend before the storm, reel back;
bend down, knuckle down, knuckle to, knuckle under, knock under, eat
dirt, eat the leek, eat humble pie, bite the dust, lick the dust, be at
one's feet, fall at one's feet, craven, crouch before, throw oneself at
the feet of, swallow the leek, swallow the pill, kiss the rod, turn the
other cheek, avaler les couleuvres, gulp down, obey kneel to, bow to,
pay homage to, cringe to, truckle to, bend the neck, bend the knee,
kneel, fall on one's knees, bow submission, courtesy, curtsy, kowtow,
pocket the affront, make the best of, make a virtue of necessity, grin
and abide, grin and bear it, shrug the shoulders, resign oneself, submit
with a good grace, bear with.



______________________________________________
Roderick D. Hetzel, Ph.D.
Department of Psychology
LeTourneau University
Post Office Box 7001
2100 South Mobberly Avenue
Longview, Texas  75607-7001
 
Office:   Heath-Hardwick Hall 115
Phone:    903-233-3312
Fax:      903-233-3246
Email:    [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Homepage: http://www.letu.edu/people/rodhetzel


-----Original Message-----
From: John W. Kulig [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] 
Sent: Friday, October 26, 2001 10:39 AM
To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences
Subject: Re: the "s-word" in the classroom




Rod Hetzel wrote:

> Jim:
>
> I agree with you that submission is important in marriage, although I 
> would emphasize the idea of mutual submission.  If one (or both) 
> partner is not willing to submit to the other, then a power 
> differential will exist and one partner will most likely end up being 
> oppressed to some degree.

    Mutual submission sounds cool. But a word of caution. Submission is
often accompanied by bowing. If two people do it at the same time, they
bump heads
;)
    But seriously, isn't this language silly? IF oppression is the
opposite of submission, and power is involved in (either as cause or
reaction to) submission, isn't this recommending mutual oppression? The
model of marraiage that emerges is two people alernating oppression on
each other.
    A modest proposal: All those tipsters who have successfully managed
10 or more years of marriage (to the same person) and managed a few
laughs (in addition to the inevitable bumps) ought to compile their
collective wisdom into a book. I offer the first bit of anecdotal
advice: Ditch the political language. It gets in the way of seeing your
spouse as they are - their needs, their wants, their wishes, unadorned
by politics.
    Sorry, no peer-reviewed references on this one - not even Psych
Reports!
;)

--
---------------------------------------------------------------
John W. Kulig                        [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Department of Psychology             http://oz.plymouth.edu/~kulig
Plymouth State College               tel: (603) 535-2468
Plymouth NH USA 03264                fax: (603) 535-2412
---------------------------------------------------------------
"What a man often sees he does not wonder at, although he knows not why
it happens; if something occurs which he has not seen before, he thinks
it is a marvel" - Cicero.



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