Although Freudian Psychology is now mostly in disrepute, the phenomenon of "transference" is very real. I would suggest looking at the literature regarding dealing with idealizing transference.
Bill Scott >>> "Joan Warmbold" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 03/01/08 2:50 PM >>> Haven't we all had undue attention from a student from time to time? We each have to learn how to deal with such fairly quickly. I have an overly attentive male student this semester who ALWAYS has questions about the test that require an office appointment, wants to know what I'm going to be teaching in the Fall, etc. I see potential problems but am also able to be curt and a bit unresponsive when such seems called for. That ole' cliche about 'nipping it in the bud' seems appropriate for these circumstances. It's fairly easy to sense when a student is stepping over the instructor-student boundary and at that point, we step back immediately. The sooner, the better. Joan [EMAIL PROTECTED] > I had a student stalking me my first semester teaching, so I think I > understand part of Nancy's situation. Based on that experience, I think > Linda is absolutely correct. It could be that this student simply needs > to understand the student-faculty relationship is a professional one. > Yes, we are there to (sometimes) discuss personal issues the student is > facing, but we are never to be confused for a friend or, heaven forbid, a > possible romantic partner. Also, since the student is close to Nancy's > age, she may feel more comfortable with her (or other faculty) than with > her student peer group. Perhaps once the student understands what she's > done is inappropriate, she will go away voluntarily. > > If this doesn't work, then Tim is right. I spoke with both our Campus > Chief of Police and our Dean of Students and they were able to help stop > the harrassment. And, for your own protection, Nancy, please document, > document, document. Good luck. > > Julie > > > Julie A. Penley, Ph.D. > Associate Professor of Psychology > El Paso Community College > PO Box 20500 > El Paso, TX 79998-0500 > Office phone: (915) 831-3210 > Department fax: (915) 831-2324 > > _____ > > From: Tollefsrud, Linda [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Sat 3/1/2008 8:13 AM > To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) > Subject: RE: [tips] Unwanted student attention > > > > Hi, Nancy > > My advice would be a bit different from what I see so far. I would NOT > simply fail to respond, for two reasons. One, we are educators and this > is an individual who needs educating (in terms of social skills). I > think it would help if you would clarify for her what you meant by "keep > in touch" and the # of contacts you find desirable/acceptable. For > instance, one email per semester, would be perfectly appropriate, right? > Second, in the legal sense, since you clearly find this worrisome and it > might be construed as harassment/stalking, it is your responsibility to > clearly say "Stop. This is inappropriate." Hopefully, it will not > escalate to that point, but you need to take this action in case it > does. > > Linda Tollefsrud > Professor of Psychology > University of Wisconsin - Barron County > 1800 College Drive > Rice Lake, WI 54868 > (715) 234-8176 > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > -----Original Message----- > From: DeVolder Carol L [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Friday, February 29, 2008 10:34 PM > To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) > Subject: RE: [tips] Unwanted student attention > > Nancy, > I agree with Beth. I don't think you did anything wrong--if you did then > I'm guilty of similar behavior. It may take her a while to get the idea, > and she may never really get it, but if you don't respond (not even a > single word like "thanks"), she will eventually go away. > Carol > > > Carol L. DeVolder, Ph.D. > Professor of Psychology > Chair, Department of Psychology > St. Ambrose University > 518 West Locust Street > Davenport, Iowa 52803 > > Phone: 563-333-6482 > e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > web: http://web.sau.edu/psychology/psychfaculty/cdevolder.htm > > The contents of this message are confidential and may not be shared with > anyone without permission of the sender. > > > > -----Original Message----- > From: beth benoit [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Fri 2/29/2008 9:09 PM > To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) > Subject: RE: [tips] Unwanted student attention > > Nancy, > I'd suggest: Don't respond AT ALL about ANYTHING, EVER again. > Sometimes > these extra-needy students are just looking for ANY kind of response. > Beth Benoit > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Friday, February 29, 2008 9:46 PM > To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) > Subject: Re: [tips] Unwanted student attention > > > Hi - > > I think I need help. I don't want to do anything to make this worse. > Maybe > I'll join the bad day club if I manage to do that. > > I had a very enthusiastic and dedicated female student, close to my age, > in > my Fall 2007 Intro Psych class at Long Beach City. At the end of the > term > she thanked me (profuselly) and gave me book as a gift (from my > Amazon.com > wish list). As the book is not an atypical sort of gift from a student, > I > accepted it graciously. Told her it was a pleasure to work with her and > "stay in touch" (something I say to many students). > > Since then (late December) she has managed to email me at least 4 or 5 > times > a week about something (usually a book or show she thinks I should see). > I > respond politely - and tersely -to most of her emails. But it has > escalated > into her sending me an invitation to bet on the Oscars with her for a > cup of > coffee, and most recently an invitation to a concert on a Saturday night > and > also an invitation to be on her Amazon.com Friends list > > I am now REALLY uncomfortable. I don't want to do ANYTHING else to > respond > as I don't feel that I encouraged this and it is bordering on creepy - > please, please, give me a reality check if I am wrong about this. I > don't > want to hang out with her or even feel bullied into being involved in a > personal "friends" list at a commerical site. > > If anyone has ANY suggestions how I can discourage this in a polite and > professional way, I would welcome them. I know that perhaps nothing I do > that indicates reticience will stop her from being angry/hurt. Again, I > don't think did anything to indicate that I'd be her friend > > Thanks and if I did anything stupid here...I'll take that kind of > feedback > off list. > > Nancy Melucci > Long Beach City College > Long Beach CA > > -----Original Message----- > From: Shearon, Tim <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) > <[email protected]> > Sent: Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:52 am > Subject: RE: [tips] this world is getting crazy - update > > Bill- That's despicable!! I don't suppose they saved the envelope? If > there > wasn't one, that's worse! I think this kind of anonymous and cowardly > act on > a > college campus is worse than cheating. In such instances the dean/VP > should > immediately attempt to identify the cretin(s) and ask for explanation > (purely > hypothetically, with a large pointy stick; I'd never suggest such a > thing in > > reality). At any rate, I am very happy that you are back!! > Tim > (the parenthetical remarks above were not made for reasons other than > sarcasm > toward anyone lurking who might read them and not realize that you, > agency > or > otherwise, are also, purely hypothetically, engaging in a form of > harassment/terrorism- am I safe now?) > _______________________________ > Timothy O. Shearon, PhD > Professor and Chair Department of Psychology > The College of Idaho > Caldwell, ID 83605 > email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > teaching: intro to neuropsychology; psychopharmacology; general; history > and > > systems > > "What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done > for > others and the world remains and is immortal." - Albert Pike > > > > -----Original Message----- > From: William Scott [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > ] > Sent: Fri 2/29/2008 12:19 PM > To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) > Subject: RE: [tips] this world is getting crazy - update > > It was an anonymous letter from someone who signed it "a friend of > higher > education" and it sent a copy of my posting and accused me of "making > terrorist > threats". I saw the letter. > > > --- > To make changes to your subscription contact: > > Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) > _____ > > Supercharge your AIM. Get the AIM > <http://download.aim.com/client/aimtoolbar?NCID=aolcmp00300000002586> > toolbar for your browser. > --- > > > To make changes to your subscription contact: > > > > > > Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) > > --- > To make changes to your subscription contact: > > Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) > > > --- > To make changes to your subscription contact: > > Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) > > > > --- > To make changes to your subscription contact: > > Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) --- To make changes to your subscription contact: Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) --- To make changes to your subscription contact: Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED])
