Yes I am leaning toward a modified version of the response Linda suggested with some of the points you are making in mind.It's important for me to both weigh in my feelings AND not overreact - some stalking-like behaviors are stalking and some are more like over enthusiasm/social naivete. Thanks.
NJM -----Original Message----- From: Tollefsrud, Linda <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) <[email protected]> Sent: Sat, 1 Mar 2008 7:13 am Subject: RE: [tips] Unwanted student attention Hi, Nancy My advice would be a bit different from what I see so far. I would NOT simply fail to respond, for two reasons. One, we are educators and this is an individual who needs educating (in terms of social skills). I think it would help if you would clarify for her what you meant by "keep in touch" and the # of contacts you find desirable/acceptable. For instance, one email per semester, would be perfectly appropriate, right? Second, in the legal sense, since you clearly find this worrisome and it might be construed as harassment/stalking, it is your responsibility to clearly say "Stop. This is inappropriate." Hopefully, it will not escalate to that point, but you need to take this action in case it does. Linda Tollefsrud Professor of Psychology University of Wisconsin - Barron County 1800 College Drive Rice Lake, WI 54868 (715) 234-8176 [EMAIL PROTECTED] -----Original Message----- From: DeVolder Carol L [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Friday, February 29, 2008 10:34 PM To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) Subject: RE: [tips] Unwanted student attention Nancy, I agree with Beth. I don't think you did anything wrong--if you did then I'm guilty of similar behavior. It may take her a while to get the idea, and she may never really get it, but if you don't respond (not even a single word like "thanks"), she will eventually go away. Carol Carol L. DeVolder, Ph.D. Professor of Psychology Chair, Department of Psychology St. Ambrose University 518 West Locust Street Davenport, Iowa 52803 Phone: 563-333-6482 e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] web: http://web.sau.edu/psychology/psychfaculty/cdevolder.htm The contents of this message are confidential and may not be shared with anyone without permission of the sender. -----Original Message----- From: beth benoit [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Fri 2/29/2008 9:09 PM To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) Subject: RE: [tips] Unwanted student attention Nancy, I'd suggest: Don't respond AT ALL about ANYTHING, EVER again. Sometimes these extra-needy students are just looking for ANY kind of response. Beth Benoit From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Friday, February 29, 2008 9:46 PM To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) Subject: Re: [tips] Unwanted student attention Hi - I think I need help. I don't want to do anything to make this worse. Maybe I'll join the bad day club if I manage to do that. I had a very enthusiastic and dedicated female student, close to my age, in my Fall 2007 Intro Psych class at Long Beach City. At the end of the term she thanked me (profuselly) and gave me book as a gift (from my Amazon.com wish list). As the book is not an atypical sort of gift from a student, I accepted it graciously. Told her it was a pleasure to work with her and "stay in touch" (something I say to many students). Since then (late December) she has managed to email me at least 4 or 5 times a week about something (usually a book or show she thinks I should see). I respond politely - and tersely -to most of her emails. But it has escalated into her sending me an invitation to bet on the Oscars with her for a cup of coffee, and most recently an invitation to a concert on a Saturday night and also an invitation to be on her Amazon.com Friends list I am now REALLY uncomfortable. I don't want to do ANYTHING else to respond as I don't feel that I encouraged this and it is bordering on creepy - please, please, give me a reality check if I am wrong about this. I don't want to hang out with her or even feel bullied into being involved in a personal "friends" list at a commerical site. If anyone has ANY suggestions how I can discourage this in a polite and professional way, I would welcome them. I know that perhaps nothing I do that indicates reticience will stop her from being angry/hurt. Again, I don't think did anything to indicate that I'd be her friend Thanks and if I did anything stupid here...I'll take that kind of feedback off list. Nancy Melucci Long Beach City College Long Beach CA -----Original Message----- From: Shearon, Tim <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) <[email protected]> Sent: Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:52 am Subject: RE: [tips] this world is getting crazy - update Bill- That's despicable!! I don't suppose they saved the envelope? If there wasn't one, that's worse! I think this kind of anonymous and cowardly act on a college campus is worse than cheating. In such instances the dean/VP should immediately attempt to identify the cretin(s) and ask for explanation (purely hypothetically, with a large pointy stick; I'd never suggest such a thing in reality). At any rate, I am very happy that you are back!! Tim (the parenthetical remarks above were not made for reasons other than sarcasm toward anyone lurking who might read them and not realize that you, agency or otherwise, are also, purely hypothetically, engaging in a form of harassment/terrorism- am I safe now?) _______________________________ Timothy O. Shearon, PhD Professor and Chair Department of Psychology The College of Idaho Caldwell, ID 83605 email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] teaching: intro to neuropsychology; psychopharmacology; general; history and systems "What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." - Albert Pike -----Original Message----- From: William Scott [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> ] Sent: Fri 2/29/2008 12:19 PM To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) Subject: RE: [tips] this world is getting crazy - update It was an anonymous letter from someone who signed it "a friend of higher education" and it sent a copy of my posting and accused me of "making terrorist threats". I saw the letter. --- To make changes to your subscription contact: Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) _____ Supercharge your AIM. 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