As a battle scarred veteran of these sites (too many to count) I am sure they probably are better than singles bars but not much.
For women, the main problem (besides the escalation of mispresentation - certainly possible in "real world" dating; much more prevalent in online dating) is that it appears that a fairly large number of males on these sites are either married or living with someone. It appears that online dating gives the male style of cheating a real helping hand - men sign up as "single" and the pickings are fairly easy (women tend to cheat with familiar men, so it doesn't work so well for them, although I have no doubt that there are a few married or attached women on these sites also. For men, a lot of the women seem to be looking for "free meals". They date serially with no intention of being serious and reap those benefits. For both sexes, the number of people posting pictures from 10 years or 50 pounds ago is disheartening. And it's really disappointing to see what a sell out Fisher has become. I have very little respect for her, although she has a right to get rich any legitimate way she can. I've not given up but am rapidly concluding that if I find a suitable partner, it will most likely not be from an online dating or matchmaking site. Just my hard-won .02 Nancy Melucci Long Beach City College Long Beach CA -----Original Message----- From: Mike Palij <[email protected]> To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) <[email protected]> Cc: Mike Palij <[email protected]> Sent: Sun, Feb 7, 2010 5:36 am Subject: [tips] Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me A Match! There is an interesting little article in the NY Times about the "relationship" ebsites that have come into existence that try to match people on some riteria in the hopes that they form a long-lasting relationship. See: ttp://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/business/07stream.html?th&emc=th These websites are not geared toward personal ads for people seeking date, rather, as might be expected, some of these websites use sychological testing or even biological testing for match-making. onsider: (1) ScientificMatch.com matches people up on the basis of genetic nalysis, such as markers for the immune system as well as some efintively non-biological markers (e.g., criminal and bankruptcy heck, verificiation of age and marital status, etc.) (2) Chemistry.com (a subsidiary of Match.com) has biological nthropologist Helen Fisher create a questionnaire about a person's raits and temperament. A quote from Fisher provides some insight nto her views: |“If Helen Fisher can give you right off the bat individuals that your brain is more likely to be attracted to,” she says, “so much the better.” Apparently, in matters of romance, one should focus on the brain nd not the mind. Also, beware of people who refer to themselves n the third person. (3) eHarmony.com was developed by a psychologist (his name is ot given in the article but he has appeared and been identified on Harmony's TV commercials -- I don't remember it though) whose xperience is in marriage counseling and tries to match people on he basis of self-reproted values, family background, and social tyles. How successful are these services? That depends upon how one efines success. It is unclear how many "successful" long-term elationships have been created by these services but they do onstitute about a $976 million annual industry, which many might onsider to be quite successful. The article asks the question "are these two techniques at matching eople better than the old ones or are they essentially similar in unction?" Consider the following quote: |At the end of the day, however, it may be that the success of such sites is attributable not so much to their proprietary methods as to their choosy, self-selected members who don’t want to wink at and woo the first person whose profile they read online. The sites attract cohorts of people interested in slowing down the online dating and mating process, in finding out more information about potential partners — or in ruling out unlikely suitors — before they graduate to the meet-and-greet stage. THE more advanced the partner prediction sites, the more they may actually serve a more old-fashioned role. The sites provide background details on a person’s family, education, aspirations, character, genetic traits and general health of the type that was once public information in farming or immigrant communities or even in hunter-gatherer societies, Dr. Fisher says. Indeed, at least from the point of view of evolutionary science, you’d be better off spending $50 — and more likely to find a mate — by using a premium dating site than by dropping $50 on drinks in the uncertain waters of singles bars. -Mike Palij ew York University [email protected] -- ou are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected]. o unsubscribe click here: http://fsulist.frostburg.edu/u?id=12993.aba36cc3760e0b1c6a655f019a68b878&n=T&l=tips&o=382 r send a blank email to leave-382-12993.aba36cc3760e0b1c6a655f019a68b...@fsulist.frostburg.edu --- You are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected]. To unsubscribe click here: http://fsulist.frostburg.edu/u?id=13090.68da6e6e5325aa33287ff385b70df5d5&n=T&l=tips&o=383 or send a blank email to leave-383-13090.68da6e6e5325aa33287ff385b70df...@fsulist.frostburg.edu
