John, Nancy, you both share an interest in psychology, in critical thinking, as evidenced by your interest in tips.... maybe there is a match here?
;) Annette Annette Kujawski Taylor, Ph.D. Professor of Psychology University of San Diego 5998 Alcala Park San Diego, CA 92110 619-260-4006 [email protected] ---- Original message ---- >Date: Sun, 7 Feb 2010 13:11:42 -0500 (EST) >From: John Kulig <[email protected]> >Subject: Re: [tips] Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me A Match! >To: "Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS)" ><[email protected]> > > >Great topic! I did it too, and quit for reasons similar to Nancy's. I believe >there is some literature out there documenting that men and women lie, or, >"exaggerate" the same things we exaggerate in old-fashoned dating. I view the >on-line dating scene as a new outlet for million year old dating strategies. >New technology but same old, same old. But I agree with Nancy that it's easier >to exaggerate on-line. > >I did not use one of the more sophisticated "scientific" sites however, as I >decided "chemistry" is not predictable from their analyses of personality. I >may be wrong, but I noticed that, whether in bars or on-line, the best >predictor of chemistry was in the first hour of talking/emailing. If you have >to work hard to keep the conversation going, bad. If you talk, good. Maybe >that's the IQ factor coming out, as there is a correlation between couples >(I'd like to see data on the NEO "openness" trait, too, though that overlaps >with IQ). And I also noticed (consistent with the literature) that laughter >during conversations is very predictive. > >And yes, I have had many a laugh with women trading horror stories about the >faded 10 year old pictures of men on Harleys, and 10 year old glamour pics of >women. Living in the "boonies" presents a problem for these sites imo because >local searches brings up a small number of hits and people you already know >... SO much more mysterious to fantasize about strangers. But they are usually >100 miles away. Remember the song "Pina Colada" in which a couple both took >out personal ads and ended up face-to-face in a bar? And there is a great old >Jimmy Stewart/Frank Morgan movie "Shop Around the Corner"? set in Budapest or >Prague in which a man and women hate each other at work but are unknowingly >exchanging romantic letters. > >-------------------------- >John W. Kulig >Professor of Psychology >Plymouth State University >Plymouth NH 03264 >-------------------------- > > >----- Original Message ----- >From: [email protected] >To: "Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS)" ><[email protected]> >Sent: Sunday, February 7, 2010 9:59:32 AM >Subject: Re: [tips] Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me A Match! > > > > >As a battle scarred veteran of these sites (too many to count) I am sure they >probably are better than singles bars but not much. > >For women, the main problem (besides the escalation of mispresentation - >certainly possible in "real world" dating; much more prevalent in online >dating) is that it appears that a fairly large number of males on these sites >are either married or living with someone. It appears that online dating gives >the male style of cheating a real helping hand - men sign up as "single" and >the pickings are fairly easy (women tend to cheat with familiar men, so it >doesn't work so well for them, although I have no doubt that there are a few >married or attached women on these sites also. > >For men, a lot of the women seem to be looking for "free meals". They date >serially with no intention of being serious and reap those benefits. > >For both sexes, the number of people posting pictures from 10 years or 50 >pounds ago is disheartening. > >And it's really disappointing to see what a sell out Fisher has become. I have >very little respect for her, although she has a right to get rich any >legitimate way she can. > >I've not given up but am rapidly concluding that if I find a suitable partner, >it will most likely not be from an online dating or matchmaking site. > >Just my hard-won .02 > >Nancy Melucci >Long Beach City College >Long Beach CA > > > > >-----Original Message----- >From: Mike Palij <[email protected]> >To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) <[email protected]> >Cc: Mike Palij <[email protected]> >Sent: Sun, Feb 7, 2010 5:36 am >Subject: [tips] Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me A Match! > > >There is an interesting little article in the NY Times about the "relationship" >websites that have come into existence that try to match people on some >criteria in the hopes that they form a long-lasting relationship. See: >http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/business/07stream.html?th&emc=th These >websites are not geared toward personal ads for people seeking >a date, rather, as might be expected, some of these websites use >psychological testing or even biological testing for match-making. >Consider: > >(1) ScientificMatch.com matches people up on the basis of genetic >analysis, such as markers for the immune system as well as some >defintively non-biological markers (e.g., criminal and bankruptcy >check, verificiation of age and marital status, etc.) > >(2) Chemistry.com (a subsidiary of Match.com) has biological >anthropologist Helen Fisher create a questionnaire about a person's >traits and temperament. A quote from Fisher provides some insight >into her views: > >|“If Helen Fisher can give you right off the bat individuals that your >|brain is more likely to be attracted to,” she says, “so much the better.” > >Apparently, in matters of romance, one should focus on the brain >and not the mind. Also, beware of people who refer to themselves >in the third person. > >(3) eHarmony.com was developed by a psychologist (his name is >not given in the article but he has appeared and been identified on >eHarmony's TV commercials -- I don't remember it though) whose >experience is in marriage counseling and tries to match people on >the basis of self-reproted values, family background, and social >styles. > >How successful are these services? That depends upon how one >defines success. It is unclear how many "successful" long-term >relationships have been created by these services but they do >constitute about a $976 million annual industry, which many might >consider to be quite successful. > >The article asks the question "are these two techniques at matching >people better than the old ones or are they essentially similar in >function?" Consider the following quote: > >|At the end of the day, however, it may be that the success of such >|sites is attributable not so much to their proprietary methods as to >|their choosy, self-selected members who don’t want to wink at and >|woo the first person whose profile they read online. The sites attract >|cohorts of people interested in slowing down the online dating and >|mating process, in finding out more information about potential >|partners — or in ruling out unlikely suitors — before they graduate >|to the meet-and-greet stage. >| >|THE more advanced the partner prediction sites, the more they may >|actually serve a more old-fashioned role. The sites provide background >|details on a person’s family, education, aspirations, character, genetic >|traits and general health of the type that was once public information >|in farming or immigrant communities or even in hunter-gatherer societies, >|Dr. Fisher says. >| >|Indeed, at least from the point of view of evolutionary science, you’d be >|better off spending $50 — and more likely to find a mate — by using a >|premium dating site than by dropping $50 on drinks in the uncertain >|waters of singles bars. > >-Mike Palij >New York University [email protected] --- >You are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected] . >To unsubscribe click here: >http://fsulist.frostburg.edu/u?id=12993.aba36cc3760e0b1c6a655f019a68b878&n=T&l=tips&o=382 > or send a blank email to >leave-382-12993.aba36cc3760e0b1c6a655f019a68b...@fsulist.frostburg.edu > >--- > >You are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected] . > >To unsubscribe click here: >http://fsulist.frostburg.edu/u?id=13338.f659d005276678c0696b7f6beda66454&n=T&l=tips&o=383 > > >(It may be necessary to cut and paste the above URL if the line is broken) > >or send a blank email to >leave-383-13338.f659d005276678c0696b7f6beda66...@fsulist.frostburg.edu > >--- >You are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected]. >To unsubscribe click here: >http://fsulist.frostburg.edu/u?id=13534.4204dc3a11678c6b1d0be57cfe0a21b0&n=T&l=tips&o=392 >or send a blank email to >leave-392-13534.4204dc3a11678c6b1d0be57cfe0a2...@fsulist.frostburg.edu --- You are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected]. 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