Gunny:
Even though you sometimes may ramble on...I think you made many
really valid and important statements. This is a subject many of us
avoid mainly because it is a private issue and we may be embarrassed to
discuss. I as you can only speak for myself....I have basically zero
feeling from the waist down and therefore when it comes to sex I cannot
tell what I am doing without looking...and even with that being said
Viagra is a must.That being said I have tried and continue to try to
satisfy my wife as best I can....many times my wife is not interested
because she knows I am doing it only for her (which is probably
true)...therefore more times than not we end up doing nothing....we are
still together and have been married 39 years...to me this is just
another problem that TM has brought on...and perhaps neither one of us
will leave the other after so long...but it obviously puts a major
strain on our relationship...this probably sounds crazy but I would
understand if my wife had an affair....if the tables were turned I
probably would...many for religous reasons will not like this answer and
can choose to condemn it...but I cannot help the way I feel.
Rob in New Jersey
________________________________
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2009 10:03 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [TMIC] Sex
Some Interesting points have been brought up in this discussion, so I'm
gonna chime in. Understand, I'm only speaking for myself, but there may
be some points to ponder here. Ok, when I first got married again, and
she came to Ohio, things went well the first night we were together,
but, after I got to see her demeanor and attitude, things went quickly
down the tubes. It didn't take long for her to tell me she hated me, and
wished I was dead. I suppose part of that was because I forced her to go
to work. In any case, with me, not all men, physical attraction was the
main purpose to get involved. One needs to take time to find out what
kind of person lives inside the one you want to tie up with, and, is
that the same person that's projected to the world, or are they
different? Are they one person at home, and another to the outside
world. If so, then that's a phoney. Since this wonderful probelm of TM
has so graciously decided to rule my life, I've begun to see that looks
don't mean a helluva lot. Oh, not the physicality doesn't matter, but it
shouldn't be uppermost. In your youth, maybe, but as you age, you take
on a different outlook. I know for myself, attitude plays a big role. If
your a weasel of a person, nothings gonna happen, no matter how hard I
try, or what pill I take. If, and if, I feel the desire, and your
receptive, possibly. Also, age plays a role in this. I find the oder I
get, the less desire I have. As far as feelings go, meaning sensation,
if my partner has diminished sensation, I'll do what it takes to try and
get some back. It's like, if you don't use it, you lose it syndrome.
Maybe that'll work, maybe it wont, but, if you have feelings for you
partner, you'll at least try. Men have a way of thinking, well, I can't
feel anything or if you can't feel anything, what's the use. Oh yeah,
what about at least giving it a shot. Your mind may come into play here
in that, you remember what it was like, maybe it'll be that way again.
But, if you don't try. you'll never know. One thing I've found out
through my trek in life is, men need to know they're needed, and women
need to know they're loved. If those two needs are met, the rest should
fall into place. If you love each other, then damnit, show it. It's
never too late to experiment. Take those old tapes that are playing in
your mind, instilled by parents who say, certain sexual techniques if
you will, are taboo, and throw em in the shit can. There's nothing taboo
about loving someone, and showing them that you do. I gotta do more
thinking on this matter, but these are the thoughts that have been
running through my mind since this subject came up.
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