Wim, I realize that you being a man and me being a woman, we may be coming from different directions on this topic. But, I agree with you 100% that the love that is fostered before TM will carry you through the devastation of TM. That being said, there are some really self-centered people in this married world that seem perfectly happy until something like TM happens, and then the selfishness comes out. If those struck with TM don't push the partner away out of anger and bitterness, and the healthy partner is not of the selfish variety, the marriage has a chance to really be enhanced. As you said, there are many ways to show love and affection, sex being only one of them.
Janice ----- Original Message ----- From: wim from holland To: [email protected] ; TMIC Sent: Sunday, June 28, 2009 7:55 AM Subject: RE: [TMIC] Sex It is good now and then to pick up this subject again. All growen up people and we have all to deal with it. Nobody is an exeption in that, to talk about it is just like subject like 'going to the toilet'. Nobody seen you doing it, but verery body knows and understands it happens. My TM is between t6 - t10. You can say threre is no sex at all. Tm struck me at the age of 43, lucky we had 3 kids already. From that period on ( 6 month before) sex became more and more a problem and from the day of TM there was none. Because of the spasme I had du the temp differences, nice laying against to each other was also not possible, after a minut my legs started to spasm and I was kicking her. After a while also the lust was gone. Sometimes I forsed my self to concentrate on it, but it ended with thinking on shopping lists and bills I had to pay. Lucky for me, my wife had seen that the love was still the same, but only the sex part was gone, we had both our tears about that. Now 12 years later we are still married, show our love in many ways to each other ( don't forget that part). Kids are all out of the house and we can do what we like, within all restricktions of the TM. The not understanding part of the outside world hits us harder as what we made out of it. Wim from Holland. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ From: [email protected] Date: Thu, 25 Jun 2009 10:02:40 -0400 To: [email protected] Subject: [TMIC] Sex Some Interesting points have been brought up in this discussion, so I'm gonna chime in. Understand, I'm only speaking for myself, but there may be some points to ponder here. Ok, when I first got married again, and she came to Ohio, things went well the first night we were together, but, after I got to see her demeanor and attitude, things went quickly down the tubes. It didn't take long for her to tell me she hated me, and wished I was dead. I suppose part of that was because I forced her to go to work. In any case, with me, not all men, physical attraction was the main purpose to get involved. One needs to take time to find out what kind of person lives inside the one you want to tie up with, and, is that the same person that's projected to the world, or are they different? Are they one person at home, and another to the outside world. If so, then that's a phoney. Since this wonderful probelm of TM has so graciously decided to rule my life, I've begun to see that looks don't mean a helluva lot. Oh, not the physicality doesn't matter, but it shouldn't be uppermost. In your youth, maybe, but as you age, you take on a different outlook. I know for myself, attitude plays a big role. If your a weasel of a person, nothings gonna happen, no matter how hard I try, or what pill I take. If, and if, I feel the desire, and your receptive, possibly. Also, age plays a role in this. I find the oder I get, the less desire I have. As far as feelings go, meaning sensation, if my partner has diminished sensation, I'll do what it takes to try and get some back. It's like, if you don't use it, you lose it syndrome. Maybe that'll work, maybe it wont, but, if you have feelings for you partner, you'll at least try. Men have a way of thinking, well, I can't feel anything or if you can't feel anything, what's the use. Oh yeah, what about at least giving it a shot. Your mind may come into play here in that, you remember what it was like, maybe it'll be that way again. But, if you don't try. you'll never know. One thing I've found out through my trek in life is, men need to know they're needed, and women need to know they're loved. If those two needs are met, the rest should fall into place. If you love each other, then damnit, show it. It's never too late to experiment. Take those old tapes that are playing in your mind, instilled by parents who say, certain sexual techniques if you will, are taboo, and throw em in the shit can. There's nothing taboo about loving someone, and showing them that you do. I gotta do more thinking on this matter, but these are the thoughts that have been running through my mind since this subject came up. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shop Popular Dell Laptops now starting at $349! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Heb jij de nieuwe Messenger nog niet?! Download 'm hier
