On Sat, 2018-01-13 at 22:55 -0800, Mason Hock wrote: > Facebook is designed to addict its "users" with what its former > vice-president describes as "dopemine-driven feedback loops." > > https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/dec/11/facebook-former-executive-ripping-society-apart > > Your family's rationalizations for subjecting themselves to Facebook's abuse > are typical of any kind of addict. It is important to understand how > difficult it is for an addict to acknowledge that they are no longer in > control of their own lives. > > It sounds like you have tried to reason with them and it has not worked. This > is unsuprising but you should not give up. While you cannot control the way > they think, you can provide context that may help them eventually reach the > same conclusion independently. > > It will also help to identify the need that Facebook fulfills for them and > suggest healthier alternatives. A friend recently told me that he began > transitioning to vegetarianism not by removing meat from his diet, but by > introducing tofu into his diet. It is easier to eliminate something from your > life when you have the security of a familiar replacement. Depending on your > family's situation, there are several replacements you may try to introduce > them to before you attempt to convince them to abandon Facebook completely.
Yes. As a vegan, I can also attest to this. It's easier to stop eating a food when it's crowded out, rather than taken out. When there are so many different types of new beans, grains and milks to try, it's easy to just "accidentally forget" to consume the old stuff. > (1) Offline interaction. If you live near your family, you may propose > spending more time with them in person. You do not have to present this as a > replacement for Facebook, because it is worthwhile in itself. If you do not > live near your family, frequent phone calls may be enough. You say that your > mother is angry at you for avoiding Facebook. Perhaps this is because > Facebook has convinced her that it is her only way to have a relationship > with you. If so, it is understandable that you avoiding Facebook would scare > her. If you can show her that Facebook is unecessary to maintain > relationships she might feel less dependent on it. Facebook employs the same techniques to stay in people's life. When I quit, it sent me email saying "Your friends miss you." > (2) Online alternatives to dedicated "social media." Email and XMPP can serve > many of the same functions as Facebook with less risk of those needs being > associated with a proprietary interface. Email photos to your family. > Encourage them to chat with you via XMPP. Maybe act a little annoyed at > *them* if they refuse to connect with you this way. Facebook did not invent > chatting, blogging, or sharing photographs. Their innovation was aggregating > these technologies into an addictive interface. You can show your family that > they do not need rely on Facebook for these features. These won't work as a replacement. During the course of in-person interaction, the need for them will naturally grow, and only then should you introduce them. "Well, if you really NEED to do this online instead of in person, I GUESS we can use Syncplay and VLC." -- Caleb Herbert OpenPGP public key: http://bluehome.net/csh/pubkey
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