The Remote Patrol for Wednesday, February 12, 2009
by Thomas Allen Heald, long enough to reach the ground
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings

TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY
Which of the following series has won the most NAACP Image Awards?
A) "The Arsenio Hall Show"
B) "In Living Color"
C) "Living Single"
D) "Law & Order"
E) "Touched by an Angel"

The correct answer is up for your consideration until tomorrow.

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8 p.m.
Al Gore wins the Chairman’s Award at the "THE 40TH NAACP IMAGE AWARDS" 
(Fox) for apparently renewing his office's subscription to both Ebony 
and Jet Magazine.

Morgan Fairchild and Joan Van Ark guest on "MY NAME IS EARL" (NBC), 
which for some reason has Randy accidentally dating a guy named Jim. 
Well, at least it can be the show's submission for the 41st NAACP Image 
awards. Seriously, guys, Al Gore? Is this another quick Chris 
Brown/Rhianna substitute?

There have been 18 millionaires created, though few as interesting as 
either Rupert Boneham or Richard Hatch. Both of whom think I'm a pretty 
nice guy. "SURVIVOR: BRAZIL NUTS" (CBS) will probably create another 
dullard tho. (Sigh.)

"HOUSE OF CARDS" (CNBC) reminds you that you have no money left in the 
stock market and thus aren't watching the channel in the daytime.

Apparently the meerkats have to stop an asteroid from killing us all now 
that we have an African American President in "ANIMAL ARMAGEDDON" 
(Animal Planet).

Another order of "CHOWDER" (Cartoon Network) and at 8:30 p.m., 
"FLAPJACK" (Cartoon Network) are fresh from the kitsch-en. Order up!

9 p.m.
Puffy Daddy Diddy Comby Sean Hoppity Hooper Combs returns with "MAKING 
THE BAND 4: SEASON THREE" (MTV), which still has no updates on O-Town.

All the evidence is coated in cooking oil on "CSI: KFC" (CBS).

9:30 p.m.
"30 ROCK" (NBC) celebrates Valentine's Day with both Liz and Jack hoping 
their dates are just ... that ... into them, or whatever the deal is 
with that crappy movie based on Greg Behrendt's phrase.

Louis Gossett Jr. is a gentleman while former "ER" (NBC) star Eriq La 
Salle directs tonights episode as an officer.

10 p.m.
"WHAT DARWIN DIDN'T KNOW" (Science) includes "What the heck is up with 
Joaquin Phoenix?" and "Why half the people who performed on the Grammys 
have careers."

Gepetto returns on "ELEVENTH HOUR" (CBS), and we all know what that means.

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TALK SHOW DEATHMATCH
* John Sununu drives his Isuzu to "The Daily Show."
* Tavis meets Graham Nash at the still.
* The Jonas Brothers are less solid as a rock than Jon Delfin's 
neighbors Ashford & Simpson on the Late Show. Sorry you took me on that 
walking tour, aren't ya Jon?
* Jay pretends Bill Cosby is still relevant / sells the 25th anniversary 
Cosby Show DVD.
* Jimmy surfs with Demetri Martin, Marisa Tomei, and Matthew McConaughey.
* Craig chuckles at Lewis Black's sardonic remarks and Shirley Manson's 
tales of being an evil robot.
* Alec Baldwin, Eliza Dushku, and They Might Be Giants flood Conan's agenda.
TONIGHT'S WINNER: Conan with a three guest knockout punch.

QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
What did "The Soup's" Joel McHale play in college? Football. Yes, he 
knows you think less of him. But read his interview in the March GEEK 
magazine anyway.

---
But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or discuss 
mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net, or give 
TVorNotTV a tweet on Twitter. "The Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 
Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd.

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