Hi Peter,
Thanks. I will follow your suggestions.
It does bring up an interesting point - do I edit the text the client
sends me? On the one hand, I want the site to be a good reflection of me
(and my work) but on the other hand, when I made edits and sent it back
to them, they made more edits (back to the way it was) and sent it back
to me.
Thank you for looking (and reading!)
Riva
Peter MacGregor wrote:
Nice clean easy to navigate site.
I'd move "About us" up to position two on the menu list - it's the
first thing people might want to know having found the site! I
personally always put contact us last - on the grounds that the rest
of the options should answer questions and only if that is not the
case might one wish to contact the company.
Can I suggest a very careful proof read of the site? I didn't read it
all - but there is at least one place where East Main st is shown with
lower-case S for Street. Also in a number of places the wording is a
bit cumbersome - including the same word such as physical several
times in one sentence, never mind in one paragraph, which doesn't make
for easy reading!
Some of the "Wellness" (I don't know that word!! LOL) tips are
bizarre! Are they saying that if we wear a helmet all the time we're
going to be healthier and avoid Parkinson's? That's how it reads to me
and I doubt the British Medical Association would endorse THAT
claim!!! (Nor the American equivalent come to that!!)
It is never too late to start exercising - typo in the text
Stretching and flexibility - so why not give examples of what to do?
I'd also seriously question the claim under Housework - my wife has
been a specialist cancer care nurse for twenty-five years and teaches
others. Her reaction to that claim was "Complete fairy-tale".
For all of his claims he should have very clearly set out the evidence
for the claim or he could find himself in trouble with people suing
because "You said if I did housework I wouldn't get cancer" "Your said
if I wore a helmet I wouldn't get Parkinson's" and so on - especially
in USA where you sue each other at the drop of a hat!
Green tea may be just what you need if you skin is ..... (typo)
In a study, people who engaged in more amusing activities and higher
blood levels of cells (typo)
(Sorry - I know you probably didn't write the text, but I'm pedantic
about correct use of English and structuring of sentences etc. I know
we are two nations bound etc etc. .... but customer friendliness is
paramount I'm sure!)
Those are the ones I've spotted which lead me to believe there are
probably more buried in the longer stretches of text.
Cheers
Peter MacGregor
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