"Now here's a story. A guy in Brazil goes spear fishing, and he accidentally
gets shot in his own head with the spear. Well, they operate on the guy. He's
unconscious. They pull the spear out and he's going to be fine. And you know
the first thing he said when he came to was, 'Well, that's the last time I go
spear fishing with Dick Cheney.'"
- David Letterman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"George W. Bush will throw out the first pitch on opening day for the Texas
Rangers. Apparently, now that Bush is not president, he doesn't have more
important places to be booed at."
- Pedro Bartes
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Bush Library Downsized To Informational Kiosk
http://www.derfmagazine.com/news/politics/545.html
BARTIN CREEK MALL, AUSTIN, TX - Blaming the struggling economy and a general
lack of interest, planners of the George W. Bush Presidential Library have
decided to discontinue plans for a library in favor of an informational mall
kiosk which will feature chronicles of the Bush Presidency in pamphlet form.
Also refrigerator magnets and complimentary mints will be available.
Library planners steadily downsized the plans for a sprawling nine acre
complex. They first considered a single family house suburban location, then a
three room trailer in Waco, then an abandoned Ford Focus located off the
Interstate outside of Dallas. Ultimately, they decided an informational kiosk
at the Bartin Creek Mall in Austin was the most appropriate solution.
The site will be twenty square feet in total size, located on the second floor
between the Sunglass Hut and across from the Cinnabon. In addition to general
informational pamphlets the kiosk will also feature items from the White House
including hand soaps from the Lincoln Bedroom, the official presidential
stapler Bush used while in office, and an autographed photo of the President
standing with Chuck Norris, which is on loan from the Chuck Norris museum.
The kiosk will be staffed by Bill Stallsworth, a retired security guard senior
citizen who used to work at the Mall's information desk. Bill is thrilled to
have the position saying, "This job is really gonna keep me on my toes. I
expect to have a lot of visitors, especially when Cinnabon has their free
samples out." Mr. Stallsworth has been trained to answer all questions from
visitors, which may range from the No Child Left Behind Act to how to find the
Mall's bathrooms.
The final plans for the layout are being developed by the Thompson Corporation,
a company that previously engineered the Dan Quayle Vice Presidential Museum
and Hawaiian Shaved Ice Stand in Huntington Indiana.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"By golly, you know what it is? April Fool's Day. Happy April Fool's Day,
everybody. It is crazy when you think about it. Bush has only been out of
office 10 weeks and he already has his own national holiday."
- David Letterman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"George W. Bush will throw the first pitch on opening day for the Texas
Rangers. Bush decided to invite AIG executives to the game so he can share the
boos..."
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Barack Obama is taking his first overseas trip as President tomorrow. He is
headed to the G20 economic summit. And he's been rehearsing his opening line to
foreign leaders. 'Hi, I'm not George Bush. Hi, I'm not George Bush.'"
- Jimmy Fallon
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Unflappable
http://thehill.com/images/stories/weyants/2009/April/cartoon040109.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"President Obama is heading on his first official visit to London. The English
are thrilled. They are especially looking forward to once again having a
President who speaks their language."
- Janice Hough
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Dear World,
It was like that when I got here.
Sincerely,
Barack
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Royal Faux Pas: Queen Fondles First Lady's Rear
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef01156fc10a22970b-350wi
I know it must be exciting for the stodgy old British to be visited by the very
handsome and young President and First Lady, but my goodness if they shouldn't
keep their littles hands to themselves!
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
And then the Queen said, "Let's do stay in touch, dear!"
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Obama Plays Peacemaker in French-Chinese Smackdown Over Tax Havens
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2009/04/source-obama-pl.html
According to sources inside the room, President Obama just played peacemaker in
a spat between French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Hu Jintao, President of the
People's Republic of China.
In the finaly plenary session among the G-20 leaders, Sarkozy and Hu were
having a heated disagreement about tax havens. ...
The senior adminstration official said that Mr. Obama pulled Mr. Sarkozy aside,
took him to a corner, "and discussed possible alternatives," the senior
official said.
Once they arrived at one, President Obama "sent a message to the Chinese" that
a counter-offer was on the table. The Chinese spent some time considering the
offer. But they took a few minutes.
So Mr. Obama, with the assistance of translators, suggested that he and Mr. Hu
have a conversation as well. They, too went to the corner to talk. After a few
minutes, Mr. Obama called upon Mr. Sarkozy to join them.
"Translators and sherpas in tow, they reached an agreement," the official said.
"There was a multiple shaking of hands." ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
European Vacation
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=db61f010339900d365f82155dbfd8640
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"President Obama will attend the G-20 Economic Summit this week in London..
It's different from when George W. Bush went and said 'Gee', 20 times"
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Joe The Plumber Admits He Knows "Little" About EFCA, Gets Jeered By Workers
http://tinyurl.com/cc2u45
Oof. Looks like Joe the Plumber's campaigning against the Employee Free Choice
Act in Pennsylvania didn't go so well.
Mr. Plumber, whose appearances were organized by the anti-EFCA group Americans
for Prosperity, admitted he knew "little" about the legislation after being
confronted with questions at one of the events yesterday in Harrisburg by a
Pennsylvania progressive group. He was also heckled by dozens of Pennsylvania
union workers, according to a local report. ...
Pressed on the specifics of the law, Mr. Plumber repeatedly refused to answer,
and finally lost his cool, telling his questioner: "Drop it, brother, drop it.
I never said I was an expert, man." ...
"Rat! Rat! Rat!" some [union members] shouted. Another yelled: "Real plumbers
are for card check!"
According to the Patriot News, Mr. Plumber admitted at one point that he hadn't
read the bill.
The tough time Mr. Plumber endured was apparently too much for him. He was
scheduled to appear at a subsequent rally against EFCA in Philadelphia, but
according to the SEIU, which had several organizers on the scene, he was a
no-show.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"I'm not an expert, I just play one on the GOP talk circuit."
- Mr. the Plumber
The GOP: A Celebration of Ignorance!©
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Say Wha?!?!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR9lhvAE1gQ
Is this the best they have, or do they just not give a shit anymore?
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Party leader Joe the Plumber doesn't like the Employee Free Choice Act but he
doesn't feel like explaining why. Mainly because he hasn't bothered to read it.
He's a busy boy, you see, and it's very time-consuming to travel around the
country explaining why he doesn't like things he doesn't know anything about."
- Bill in Portland Maine
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Joe The Plumber.... part of the GOP Stimulus Plan.
"100% employment for GOP spokes,uh,plumbers!"
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Now I know why Joe The Plumber is a Republician....
He doesn't read.
He doesn't care.
Get off his back.
He's a real guy.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"There was kind of an awkward moment yesterday as President Obama was leaving
to go to the G20 summit. Hillary Clinton called and said, 'Can I run the
country while you're gone? Please, can I?'"
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Give-aways
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=6856e701f997c07961864d646ba682da
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
On Budgets And Europe
http://www.thenation.com/blogs/jstreet/422300/on_budgets_and_europe
. . [Sen. Judd] Gregg [R-NH] introduced an amendment (defeated) that would
have required 60 Senate votes for budget resolutions that don't meet the
European Union standard of limiting debt to 30 percent of GDP.
"We're in such a bad situation in this nation right now... that [the Europeans]
actually look good," Gregg said.
[Sen. Bernie] Sanders [I-VT] pounced.
"I'm glad to hear that my neighbor from New Hampshire is suddenly interested in
Europe," he said. "And maybe we can take a hard look at the fact that virtually
every European country has a national health-care program guaranteeing health
care to all of their people, spending substantially less per capita than we do
in this country -- maybe we can add that. And maybe we can look at the fact
that while we have 18 percent of our kids living in poverty, our European
friends in some cases have 3 or 4 percent of their children living in poverty.
And maybe while our families have to spend $40,000 a year to send our kids to
college, they do it virtually free. So I like the idea of opening up the
discussion about the pros and cons of Europe, but it is broader than my friend
from New Hampshire is talking about." ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Hit and Run
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnRyLIBNPgc
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Word of the Day: Budgetish
http://www.americablog.com/2009/03/word-of-day-budgetish.html
Budget-ish
Adjective
1. Of or resembling a budget. Lacks specificity such as numbers and/or ideas.
Usually encased in blue glossy folder and 19-pages, including cover pages and
table of contents.
Noun
2. State requisite for GOP press conference.
Origin; 21st century English. From GOP budget proposal, March 2009
"It was not a budget in the sense that it had numbers. It was more budget-ish."
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Party leader Rep. John Boehner approved a GOP budget proposal that basically
says, "Let's give the Bush plan another 50 years to work." He was too
embarrassed to unveil it himself, so he sent out his second-stringers to twist
in the wind."
- Bill in Portland Maine
http://crooksandliars.com/jon-perr/april-fools-gop-budget-new-windfall-wealt
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Economic depression cannot be cured by legislative action or executive
pronouncement."
- President Herbert Hoover, Message to Congress
Hoovervilles, however....
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Look At The Cost!!!
http://cagle.com/working/090330/bagley.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The reason that Americans voted overwhelmingly in favor of Democrats in the
last two elections and overwhelmingly against Republicans is because they want
Democratic policies and not Republican policies. They drove Republicans out of
office in massive numbers because they don't want Republicans and their
policies governing the country. ... The political establishment has never come
to terms with, and the media establishment just refuses to acknowledge, how
deeply unpopular and discredited the GOP is among most Americans in the wake of
the eight-year Bush disaster."
- Glenn Greenwald
*************
It Was An....
http://cagle.com/working/090331/englehart.jpg
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