Wedding was in the fall, and it was freezing cold outside. Not exactly
toasty inside the church either. So we do the processional, and
bridesmaids and groomsmen are arranged up and down the steps up to the
altar on either side. Steps are marble. Shoes are cloth, thin-soled.
So, ceremony starts. What had been a 20 minute rehearsal with the
deceptively off-the-cuff remark by the priest: "and here, I'll say a
few words about marriage" became an hour-long drunken ramble (I swear,
he had been drinking) on matrimony in the middle of the twenty minutes
we'd gone over the night before. After 15 minutes I couldn't feel
anything below my knees. When we went to walk out, I informed the
groomsman who was escorting me that he was going to have to virtually
hold me up. We faked it pretty well.
The entire bridal party beelined it for the bar the moment we got to
the reception. It was brutal.
--- In [email protected], "hermespal" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
wrote:
>
> Well, there's the one where the bride decided to get her chin waxed
> the day before the ceremony, along with the bikini wax for the
> honeymoon, and of course she'd never done it before. Bad idea,
> particularly as she was on Retin A. Her father, who has a disposition
> about as calm as a toy poodle, was hysterical. Fortunately liberal
> application of ice reduced swelling and expert makeup covered the
> redness for the ceremony. But, same evening, the bride leaned into the
> car to get her ribbon bouquet for the rehearsal (in a dark parking
> lot) and the poor bridesmaid who had just exited the back seat closed
> the back door--on the bride's hand, which was wrapped around the strip
> between the driver and back door. You can imagine the hysteria that
> ensued after that.
>
> And yeah, I was that poor bridesmaid.
>
> Pretty much everything went okay after that, except for the one
> bridesmaid who never wears makeup, has worn a dress maybe three times
> in her life, and objected to being dressed and made up to look like
> the rest of us. Well, in truth, I wasn't particularly pleased to have
> to have my hair in a bun, wear identical pearls, dresses and dyed
> shoes to match, but I kind of figured that was the sacrifice I made by
> saying yes when she asked me to be in it.
>
> The hair came down at the reception. ;-)
>
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