Thank you so much for the advice.  I'm putting "sitting" into action.    I 
remembered Wu-Wei today.   I tried for the first time.  It was a little 
difficult, because a lot of my friends are very controlling.   I went with the 
flow as best as i could.  It was really interesting,  I wanted to interfere at 
every turn.  However, when I felt the impulse arise,  I retreated.  What a good 
counteraction.

  Question:  How can I eliminate clinging?    I find that when I have a good 
time with friends,  I just want to repeat the experience over and over.    That 
seems impossible.  
   
  Lately,  I've noticed myself behaving that way, with my uni friends.   I kept 
trying-overtrying-to repeat the experiences had, but I wasn't able.   And, when 
I wasn't able,   I became frustrated, irritated and glum.   So, Friday,  I 
decided to let-go.   I let the cell-phone alone,  I didn't email, or txt msg.  
I just sat.   Intially,  I had to will myself to sit,  I kept wanting to jump 
up, grab the phone, and msg   But,  I managed through and kept on sitting.  You 
know what?   It felt good.  My head felt lighter, and things seemed clearer.  
My friends were understanding too.
   
  Feedback?
dkotschessa <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
  --- In Zen_Forum@yahoogroups.com, "greentealeaf111" 
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> I've noticed every time I become emotionally attached to a person or 
> thing, situation, etc.  I experience heartache.   I feel that's 
where 
> I'm at right now.   I've forgotten how to implement detachment.  I'm 
> noticing more clingy behavior.  Please help me get back on track 
with 
> the Zen teachings.  I feel like they are only remedy to my current 
> state.  
> 
> Sometimes, when I'm in the height of attachment,  I reject Zen as 
cold 
> and unfeeling because it puports detachment, silence, and wu-wei. I 
> was practicing Zen so well, last year,  but I've forgotten the way.  
> Please reply...anyone.

I prefer the term non-attachment to detachment.  The word detachment 
just has too many negative connotations for most people.  
*Indifference* is really what you are worried about.  And indifference 
is the "near enemy" to detachment.   

The "near enemy" of a state is sort of it's evil twin!  For example, 
pity is the near-enemy of compassion.  It looks a little bit like 
compassion, and can sometimes trick you, but it's not the same thing.

So it is with indifference and non-attachment, or the even better word 
Equanimity.  (Such a purty word too!)

As far as your practice goes, well, you may just need to sit more and 
that's all there is to it.  Sit sit sit!  Loneliness is just another 
one of those emotional storms in your brain/body.  Just acknowledge it 
and go back to your practice.  Some people say you shouldn't sit too 
much, and that sitting more isn't exactly better.  They are allowed to 
think that if they want, but I say more is better.  So if you want to 
get back to it, sit!  Take a day off, go to the woods or something.  
Take some books maybe, walk around, sit, walk, read.  Don't get lost.  
Take a cell phone just in case. :)  Then sit every day in the morning 
or before you go to bed or both.  

As far as the teachings, "forgetting" is exactly what you want to do, 
so... congratulations on forgetting the teachings!  I read a lot, but 
I forget the teachings as soon as I put the book down.  

-DaveK





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