Good point, Rose.  
I read an interesting book, "The Price of Priviledge", a few years ago.  In 
essence, it was a discussion of how kids in today's western affluent  cultures, 
are being raised with a sense of entitlement.  Yet we are producing a 
generation of disconnected and unhappy  youth. In an  attempt to raise 
self-esteem, the norms shifted to time-outs instead of a spanking. Every  
children gets a trophy so no one feels left out. The emphasis on praise and 
positive reinforcement,  turned out a plethora of child-development 
guidelines.   Not all of that is bad, per se, but the  point of that book was 
to demonstrate that if we reward kids for everything, there is no true sense of 
achievement. Part of life is learning how to lose, and still go on to try 
However, I watched a program on the history channel last night that discussed  
tribal culture life on remote islands. Their  work load  to even survive made 
me feel very humble.  But I also know there are kids in my own city that are 
abused, neglected and hungry. So--as you say, lets hope there is a better 
balance. For me, such questions  do bring me to zen.  How to understand why we 
were born in the circumstances we find ourselves ? 
A good weekend to all..

--- On Fri, 11/12/10, Rose P <> wrote:

From: Rose P <>
Subject: Re: [Zen] Would zazen cure their malaise?
Date: Friday, November 12, 2010, 12:57 PM


You're on to something there Ed, with your comments below and also your comment 
about zazen possibly being of benefit with this sort of mindset. It's not just 
some of the the girls who are being raised like this though, unfortunately.

My mother was bordering on the hostile, well no, she was just plain hostile 
when I was a kid, so I guess (I would hope!) there's some middle ground 

How did you fare in the parent department? Were you in luck?


--- On Fri, 11/12/10, ED <> wrote:

From: ED <>
Subject: Re: [Zen] Would zazen cure their malaise?
Date: Friday, November 12, 2010, 7:01 PM


Surely your mummy and daddy raised you to feel/think that you were/are a 
princess and very, very special, (more special than all the other little girls 
who were also raised by their mummies and daddies to feel/think that they were 
princesses and very, very special?) No?

PS: Bill, in your estimation how many decades of zazen does it take to diffuse 
the stink of the self's deluded feelings of specialness?
--- In, Rose P <things_r...@...> wrote:
> I saw this article Ed. As a British woman, I would prefer less adventure in 
> my life, and don't mind housework :) Adventure imo is waaay overrated - maybe 
> this is why some of these women feel unsatisfied, they believe they're 
> missing out on something. As for wearing red, I've never noticed a difference 
> in mood from doing this. Maybe I'll give it another
> Rose

> Would zazen cure their malaise?  --ED

> ============================================

> Millions of British women bored by their lives because of 'endless housework, 
> no money and a dull sex life' 
> By Daily Mail Reporter
> 11th November 2010
> Millions of women have complained they are stuck in a rut because their lives 
> are too ordinary, new research claimed yesterday. 
> Six in ten disenchanted women in Britain say a lack of money, boredom with 
> the same routine and appearance and a general humdrum has made their lives 
> deathly dull. 
> Of the 4,000 women polled, 28 per cent said they felt more 'ordinary' than 
> they did five  years ago. 
> Stuck in a rut: Women complained a lack of adventure and endless housework 
> had turned their lives humdrum
> The report reveals how a 'malaise' is affecting the way women look, feel and 
> style themselves and their surroundings. 
> The unsatisfied lot blamed a limited social life and lack of adventure in 
> style and the bedroom as the key reasons for their malaise. 
> A lack of confidence which makes women feel insecure about how witty or 
> clever they feel was also blamed. 
> To make it worse, four in ten women are dreading a winter of discontent as 
> they say the cold season is when they feel most average.
> A quarter of women admit that feeling generic affects their confidence and 
> holds them back in life and work. 
> One in five fret that their dress sense is slipping and fear they are 
> starting to look like their mothers. 
> The report came from research carried out by fashion internet site 
> The general malaise is also infecting women's wardrobes with black being the 
> most common colour in half of women's wardrobes. 
> Those polled also admit to a pedestrian uniform of jeans and a t-shirt (37 
> per cent) or an unflattering ensemble of jogging bottoms and a cardigan (35 
> per cent), with only one in ten women regularly wearing something bright and 
> bold. 
> Something as simple as wearing red can boost a woman's confidence, according 
> to research
> Behavioural expert Judi James said: 'The research shows how easy it is for us 
> to fall into an ordinary trap. Worrying about jobs and finances makes us want 
> to take fewer risks which in turn can make us feel more ordinary and have an 
> affect on our happiness, confidence and self-esteem. 
> 'Making small but regular changes like breaking bland habits, consciously 
> adjusting body language to be more upbeat, and using mood-enhancing colours 
> in both dress and decor can be an easy and instant way to reboot positivity 
> and happiness levels.'   
> The report, entitled Very Ordinary Britain, quizzed women aged 18 to 65 on 
> how happy they were with different aspects of their life. 
> A lack of time, energy and a fear of speaking up and rocking the boat means 
> that one woman in three is sticking with the status quo.  
> Most claim they are happy in their current relationships - but one in ten 
> felt like they could do with ditching their current partner and having a 
> change. 
> A fifth said they were bored of their sex life, while 48 per cent said they 
> would be happier with life if they had more decent clothes to wear.   
> More than half said they would feel better if they treated themselves to a 
> whole new wardrobe or a make-over. 
> Nearly all admit that adding colour to their appearance makes them feel 
> happier and more attractive to the opposite sex. A third (32 per cent) think 
> wearing colours has helped them in job interviews, and a fifth (21 per cent) 
> think it makes them work harder.  
> For two fifths of women, wearing the colour red is the biggest counter to 
> feeling extraordinary. 
> A disenchanted four in ten said they would do things differently if they had 
> their life again and a quarter said they would be happier if they were more 
> spontaneous - with half wishing they could book the next flight at an 
> airport. 
> Gareth Jones, retail director of, said: "We understand it is easy 
> to slip into routines of ordinary dressing and in turn this can make females, 
> in particular, feel quite uninspired.' 
> Never have enough money
> Same routine
> Boring dress sense
> Lack of social life
> Endless housework
> Eating the same things at mealtimes
> Lack of holidays
> Boring job
> No new hobbies or interests
> Dull sex life
> Source: Daily Mail




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