Bill,
You have described 'monkey mind' very well, and it is just this activity that
zen mediation (shikantaza) seeks to quiesce. ('Quiesce' = 'to render
temporarily inactive or disabled'.) This 'monkey mind' is what is obscuring
Buddha Nature. When the 'monkey mind' (I often call it in my posts the
'discriminating mind' or 'rational mind' or 'dualistic mind', etc...) is halted
Buddha Nature is what is left. Buddha Nature is the foundation. It is then
that you can become aware of Buddha Nature. And then your zen practice begins
really begins...
Counting your breathes in an attempt to focus your 'monkey mind' down onto just
10 things, not the limitless variety of things you called 'chaos'. Just 1, 2,
3, etc... After you can do this fairly well you should then just concentrate
on your breathes as 'in' and 'out'. That's further focusing the 'monkey mind'
down to just 2 things. Then you go to just 'following the breaths', that is
the breath as a whole - in and out together, just a flowing of breath. That
takes you down to just 1 thing. By then you should have quiesced your 'monkey
mind' enough that as your relax more and more you suddenly go to the final step
- 0 things, Buddha Nature. That is 'kensho'.
You can also get to that point by the use of koans. Koans engage the 'monkey
mind', like putting it on a treadmill or hamster wheel, and letting it tire
itself out until it quiesces itself either out of exhaustion or boredom. You
can do this with repetitive chants or bowing also, and I'm sure there are other
techniques.
The point is when this 'monkey mind' is halted Buddha Nature is revealed. In
some zen literature is likened to the parting of clouds letting the sun shine
through. The sun was there all the time, but you couldn't see it for the
clouds. The clouds are the obscuring actions of the 'monkey mind'.
Please forward $400/month to my PayPal account.
Thanks...Bill!
--- In [email protected], William Rintala <brintala@...> wrote:
>
> I am a perpetual beginner when it comes to meditation. I've been doing it
> for
> 40 years, mostly Vipasana in structure. Cultivating a Mind-Body Awareness
> through guided meditations with various teachers and proponents of Yoga such
> as
> Ram Das (aka Richard Alpert) and Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati. I was drawn to
> Zen
> by its simplicity and by the works of Alan Watts. I have attended 2 weekends
> of
> Sesshin with a group affiliated with the American Zen Association, at
> the New
> Orleans Zen Temple where Robert Livingston Roshi is the Abbot. I am not a
> member
> there though, they wanted $400 a month to be a member and you have to be a
> member for at least 3 months before you can receive dokusan from Livingston
> Roshi. It just felt like a scam to me. I've also done some sitting with the
> Blue
> Iris Sangha http://blueirissangha.org/Â they follow a Vietnamese teacher
> named
> Thich Nhat Hanh. The group has just moved to Lien Hoa Temple which is now
> too
> far away for me. So I try an do it on my own while I am looking for someone
> closer.Â
>
>
> My Zazen experience -
>
> I understand that you simply need to count your breaths but here's what I
> experience.
>
>
> 1 - Everything feels good. No pains, cramps, gas, bladder spams, etc.
> 2 - I focus on my nose as the breath comes in and goes out. 1,2,3,4,5....Â
> I
> rarely get past 5.
> 3 - First I feel a sense of detachment and I can't feel the air moving in
> or out
> of my body at all. Focusing on my breathing becomes more like trying to
> focus
> on the blood moving through my veins, I know that it's happening but where?
>
> 4 -Â Then my mind takes off like a dog chasing a car, but really more like a
> dog
> trying to chase many cars. It often reminds me of the way my grandmother's
> ringer washer would agitate cloths. Just a chaos of thought fragments.
> 5 - I become aware that I am afloat in this chaos and bring my mind back to
> trying to count my breaths 1,2,3,....
> 6 - by the end of a half hour I feel less like I am caught in the agitation
> of a
> washing machine and more like I'm a cork bobbing in very rough water.Â
>
> All in all the experience is very stressful and discouraging. Reading what
> you
> have all posted here I am encouraged that my experience isn't unusual however
>
>
> I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she said "Oh, you have Monkey
> Mind!"  Monkey Mind! So what can you do about Monkey Mind?  Â
>
>
> Any feedback would be appreciated.
> Bill not Bill!
>
>
>
>
> Find what makes your heart singâ¦and do it!
>
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