Boris, I think you have ventured into the tricky landscape of selling your ideas to people. I suspect Tom C. is very right about what 'tone' and manner you used. 'I suggest' is pretty direct language from a vendor to a client. 'You might want to think about doing something like this...' or 'One way to do this could be...' or 'It's just my 2 cents, but it might be easier to...' or the old classic 'Forgive my poor English skills/ Russian directness/ geeky social skills...' My bet is that you are projecting an image of being too DIRECTIVE in your meetings and that you need to be more CONSULTATIVE. (Think of it like an old friend suggesting you might want to do this or that to get along better with your girlfriend) It's not a matter of good technical work, but an issue of sweet talking the client. You are of an age and experience level where these skills will make a big difference. Listen to your boss. Ask for his/her feedback on how each meeting goes. Take this as advice from another technical expert who has stumbled and fallen over these issues many times. :-) Regards, Bob S.
On Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 7:54 AM, Tom C <caka...@gmail.com> wrote: > Boris, > > If I had said exactly what you said, I would feel exactly as you feel. > > When one specifically states that something is a suggestion, I don't > know how it can be interpreted otherwise unless it is almost > deliberately misinterpreted. Words are chosen, usually with the intent > of accurately expressing the thoughts of the speaker. > > Now if you gruffly said "I SUGGEST YOU THIS & THAT...", then speech > can be colored by tone of voice. Or, if a debate had preceded your > words, then possibly they could have come across with a tone of > finality, as opposed to suggesting just one possible option. > > ... or it could be the listener is/was not prone to listening to suggestions. > > Tom C. > > On Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 3:05 AM, Boris Liberman <bori...@gmail.com> wrote: >> Having returned from the trip to USA, my boss pointed out that I spoke >> rather harsh language. Here is an example. >> >> I would say something like "I suggest that we do so and so" and >> according to my boss "I suggest" was interpreted specifically as an >> order, not as a suggestion or as an indication of one option among >> several possible courses of action. My boss indicated that wording it >> something like "Perhaps we could proceed like so or so" would have >> been interpreted properly. >> >> Few questions: >> >> 1. Is indeed this is the case? To the point, my trip was to Maryland >> not far from Washington, DC, if that matters. >> 2. Is there any place where I could read about common phrases so that >> I would at least word things in exact way in which I want myself to be >> understood. As you realize, it is rather frustrating to say something >> and be understood very differently than originally intended... >> >> Thanks in advance. >> >> P.S. Replies off-list will be appreciated as well. >> >> -- >> Boris >> >> -- >> PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List >> PDML@pdml.net >> http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net >> to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and >> follow the directions. >> > > -- > PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List > PDML@pdml.net > http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net > to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow > the directions. > -- PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List PDML@pdml.net http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow the directions.
