What are you suggesting Bob? :-) On Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 10:44 AM, Bob Sullivan <rf.sulli...@gmail.com> wrote: > Boris, > I think you have ventured into the tricky landscape of selling your > ideas to people. > I suspect Tom C. is very right about what 'tone' and manner you used. > 'I suggest' is pretty direct language from a vendor to a client. > 'You might want to think about doing something like this...' or > 'One way to do this could be...' or > 'It's just my 2 cents, but it might be easier to...' or the old classic > 'Forgive my poor English skills/ Russian directness/ geeky social skills...' > My bet is that you are projecting an image of being too DIRECTIVE in > your meetings and that you need to be more CONSULTATIVE. > (Think of it like an old friend suggesting you might want to do this > or that to get along better with your girlfriend) > It's not a matter of good technical work, but an issue of sweet > talking the client. > You are of an age and experience level where these skills will make a > big difference. > Listen to your boss. Ask for his/her feedback on how each meeting goes. > Take this as advice from another technical expert who has stumbled and > fallen over these issues many times. :-) > Regards, Bob S. > > > On Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 7:54 AM, Tom C <caka...@gmail.com> wrote: >> Boris, >> >> If I had said exactly what you said, I would feel exactly as you feel. >> >> When one specifically states that something is a suggestion, I don't >> know how it can be interpreted otherwise unless it is almost >> deliberately misinterpreted. Words are chosen, usually with the intent >> of accurately expressing the thoughts of the speaker. >> >> Now if you gruffly said "I SUGGEST YOU THIS & THAT...", then speech >> can be colored by tone of voice. Or, if a debate had preceded your >> words, then possibly they could have come across with a tone of >> finality, as opposed to suggesting just one possible option. >> >> ... or it could be the listener is/was not prone to listening to suggestions. >> >> Tom C. >> >> On Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 3:05 AM, Boris Liberman <bori...@gmail.com> wrote: >>> Having returned from the trip to USA, my boss pointed out that I spoke >>> rather harsh language. Here is an example. >>> >>> I would say something like "I suggest that we do so and so" and >>> according to my boss "I suggest" was interpreted specifically as an >>> order, not as a suggestion or as an indication of one option among >>> several possible courses of action. My boss indicated that wording it >>> something like "Perhaps we could proceed like so or so" would have >>> been interpreted properly. >>> >>> Few questions: >>> >>> 1. Is indeed this is the case? To the point, my trip was to Maryland >>> not far from Washington, DC, if that matters. >>> 2. Is there any place where I could read about common phrases so that >>> I would at least word things in exact way in which I want myself to be >>> understood. As you realize, it is rather frustrating to say something >>> and be understood very differently than originally intended... >>> >>> Thanks in advance. >>> >>> P.S. Replies off-list will be appreciated as well. >>> >>> -- >>> Boris >>> >>> -- >>> PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List >>> PDML@pdml.net >>> http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net >>> to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and >>> follow the directions. >>> >> >> -- >> PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List >> PDML@pdml.net >> http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net >> to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and >> follow the directions. >> > > -- > PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List > PDML@pdml.net > http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net > to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow > the directions. >
-- PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List PDML@pdml.net http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow the directions.
