{hugs}. Everyone said what I would like to. You are keeping her
safe, you are doing the best thing.
(and thanks for the info about brains, that explains a lot)
On Feb 3, 5:40 am, "[email protected]" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Yesterday was a tough day and I feel like dumping it on someone, so
> here I go. I went to visit my mom. She is now living in a nursing
> home about an hour from me. She has dementia. My siblings and I
> moved her there last summer.
>
> She couldn't live alone anymore. And she can't live with any of us
> because she wanders. Well, she more than just wanders, she takes
> off. Even when we have her over for dinner, which she loves, she'll
> take off. I don't know where she's going. Neither does she.
>
> She needs 24 hour supervision.
>
> So, we found a wonderful place for her to live. She has her own room
> with private bath, it's a brand new building, the staff are wonderful,
> there are enclosed courtyards where she can go outside. I honestly
> feel like God led us to this place.
>
> So, you would think that with finding a beautiful place for her to
> live and the fact that every doctor, social worker and nearly every
> family member agreed that she needed to be there that I could rest
> easy that the right choice was made. I can't. I still feel guilty.
>
> Yesterday I went to see her. I go every week and I bring her home
> with me for the day when I can. Yesterday she was really sad. She
> was still in her pajamas when I got there. She got up and started to
> get around to go out with me. Then she turned to me, looked me right
> in the eye and said, "I just want to go home. I really just want to go
> home." It breaks my heart.
>
> I know she wants to go home. Wouldn't you just want to go home? I
> wish she could be home but she can't.
>
> And this, I cannot resolve in my mind. She should be home, she can't
> be home, she should be home, she can't be home--- that's how it goes
> in my brain.
>
> I read recently that men tend to be more successful than women when
> they diet because of a difference in men's brains. They did a study
> and found that once a man makes a decision about something it turns
> off the emotional part of the brain related to that decision. Women,
> however, will still continue to experience the emotions related to
> that decision even after the decision is made.
>
> I want a man's brain.
>
> Thanks for letting me vent. jess
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