We went through a version of this with my father-in-law, who died last November. What I learned about aging (and probably life in general) is that sometimes all the options suck. And then you vacillate. In our case, my FIL had enough control that he was the one vacillating, which was very frustrating for us at the time, but not nearly as gut- wrenching as the situation became once we were in charge. You do the best in a bad situation but it doesn't stop you from wishing there were better alternatives and from second-guessing yourself, especially when you are making the choice for someone else. All that means is that you're a conscientious and empathetic person -- not that you chose the wrong option.
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