I employ and teach the method that Angela suggests... but not always. I am old school enough that I may sit a dance after a refusal of an offer...but then I rarely refuse an offer to dance unless I really do need a rest or I have some other obligation. I think George Marshall's presentation in the video of his beginner's class is worth considering. This issue is addressed a little after the 11 minute mark: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14nxFdcaKWA
Bob Green St. Louis <http://www.avg.com/email-signature?utm_medium=email&utm_source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail> Virus-free. www.avg.com <http://www.avg.com/email-signature?utm_medium=email&utm_source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail> <#DAB4FAD8-2DD7-40BB-A1B8-4E2AA1F9FDF2> On Sat, Dec 16, 2017 at 2:24 PM, Angela DeCarlis via Callers < [email protected]> wrote: > I think the story you tell is a great reason why the older etiquette of > having to sit out is silly and outdated -- I'd rather someone who doesn't > want to dance with me just say "no thank you!" And continue about their > business. > > As a caller, I teach that "yes, thank you!" and "no, thank you!" are both > perfectly acceptable answers if someone asks you to dance. I also point out > that if someone declines your offer to dance, too never take it personally. > > To clarify, however, being rude is still totally unacceptable! My mom was > turned down for a dance recently with the line, "no, sorry; I'm *very* > particular with who I dance with!" Nope! Don't be that guy! > > On Dec 16, 2017 3:11 PM, "Alexandra Deis-Lauby via Callers" < > [email protected]> wrote: > >> This is Cdny’s etiquette page. It addresses saying no but not in great >> detail in terms of historical practice. >> >> http://cdny.org/what-is-contra/contra-etiquette/ >> >> Sent from my iPhone >> >> On Dec 16, 2017, at 2:39 PM, Kalia Kliban via Callers < >> [email protected]> wrote: >> >> Hi all, >> >> Those of us who started dancing 2 or 3 decades back probably remember the >> rule about sitting out the dance if you turn down a partner offer. A very >> competent male dancer I know who started around the same time I did (late >> 80s) recently confessed to me that he never asks anyone to dance because he >> doesn't want to put folks in the position of thinking "If I don't dance >> with this guy then I have to sit one out. Oh crap, guess I'll have to >> dance with him." For the record, he's a totally solid and delightful >> dancer. >> >> To what extent has that earlier etiquette norm either survived or been >> replaced, and what has it been replaced with? In your dance community, do >> you have a written statement of the etiquette around this? Our community's >> statement doesn't directly address this issue. >> >> Kalia >> _______________________________________________ >> List Name: Callers mailing list >> List Address: [email protected] >> Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >> >> >> _______________________________________________ >> List Name: Callers mailing list >> List Address: [email protected] >> Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >> >> > _______________________________________________ > List Name: Callers mailing list > List Address: [email protected] > Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > >
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