On 12/16/2017 2:10 PM, Alan Winston via Callers wrote:
BACDS Code of Conduct says:
http://bacds.org/conduct/CodeOfConduct.pdf
"Ask a partner kindly. Accept their answer cheerfully. If you are
repeatedly declined by a prospective partner, it is best to give them
space.
Feel free to decline a dance with someone with whom you feel
uncomfortable. If you would prefer not to dance with them, a simple "no
thanks" is appropriate. We encourage you to dance with a variety of
people both new and familiar, but your safety and comfort come first.
-------------------
So it doesn't explicitly address this, but I think it doesn't address it
because the norm is now understood to be that there's no obligations on
the person being asked.
But the issue is those dancers who came into the scene when the norm was
different, and who still carry the old assumption. I truly hadn't even
considered this problem until my recent conversation, but it pointed up
that even though those older conventions have changed, if nobody
explicitly points out that they've changed, we're leaving a lot of
dancers working with old information.
It's an extremely specific point of etiquette, and the number of dancers
affected by it may be small (or may be huge, I truly don't know). But
it exists and I'm looking for clarity on the issue within my own dance
community, and also looking for ways to address it as I teach.
Alan's points about declining an offer to dance with grace and brevity
are excellent.
I think I got some of that by looking at the George Marshal beginner
session that's on youtube.
I'll check that out in a bit. He's generally a good one to look to for
inviting and graceful teaching.
Incidentally, some brand new dancers come in with the "must sit out if
declining a dance" idea already installed; it turns out that it's there
in Jane Austen.
Ah. Interesting.
Looking forward to hearing from more of you.
Kalia
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