> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dana [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Sent: Friday, March 18, 2005 10:34 PM
> To: CF-Community
> Subject: Re: You know it's been a tough day at kindergarten when ...
> 
> oh come on though this child is 5. And she refused to play a game with
> jelly beans. You best believe I'd be upset too if my child were put in
> handcuffs over something like that. Throwing stuff in a trash can ok,
> we are talking behavior problems sure! What happened to timeout and
> the principal's office! The lunatics are running the asylum.

I didn't read why she was in trouble in the first place.

But I do think you're being a bit disingenuous - she not only "threw stuff
trash can".  She hit, repeatedly, several people, threw things and had
(reportedly) nearly an hour to calm down.  This was also not the first time
that the police were required to calm the child.

The child WAS in a timeout in the assistant principles office - then she
began hitting and kicking the assistant principle after throwing things from
her desk.

Although she was five I also remember that she was over 4' tall - that's a
sizable five-year old.  She could very well do some damage (ask a five year
old to punch or kick your hand as hard as they can sometime - kids can be
amazingly strong).

Impulse control and violent rage are only slightly less dangerous in
children than they are in adults.  If the police officers felt they could be
injured (a very real possibility even with so young a child) or that the
child could injure herself then I feel they were well within their rights to
restrain her.

Also let's be clear: restraining a child is not an easy thing - even one
that young.  Professionals generally use a wrap-technique: from behind hold
the child's opposite wrists and wrap their arms across their body.  Then sit
down (so they can't kick you) and lean back (so it's more difficult to
head-butt you).

This pretty much impossible to do safely in a car (it was in the car that
the child's legs were restrained after she refused to stop kicking).  Even
in this position the child can still squirm and either break free (which
usually leads to a punch) or potentially injure themselves or you.

(Also, as an aside: it's always taught to restrain the child until they're
calm for more than 60 seconds.  Many parents go into a fit when a caregiver
refuses to release their child upon demand - but a good caregiver will wait
and ensure that the child is calm enough to release.)

Without more facts I won't say anybody is at fault, but I can definitely see
how the situation could have escalated to the point it did with nobody BEING
at fault.  I've been in similar situations.

In both cases that I was injured by children (one girl punch me in the face
and one 10 year-old slashed my arm with a bread knife) the kids were still
enrolled in public school - on the cusp to be sure, but still in school.
Many schools are actually much better than people give them credit for and
will put up with disruptive kids longer than most private schools would.

No parent likes to think that their child can be dangerous and I've yet to
see a parent pleased when they hear that their child has been restrained.
However sometimes its required to keep the child from hurting themselves or
others.

Jim Davis





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