> -----Original Message----- > From: S. Isaac Dealey [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Sunday, April 24, 2005 3:11 PM > To: CF-Community > Subject: RE: just plain wrong > > > A troubled kid on the other hand might throw a chair > > through the window then start heaving all their > > belongings out after it (if not themselves). They > > might grab a shard of the glass and use to slash the > > draps and stab their pillows. > > Which gets back into my original comments about weapons being > involved. The situation described didn't involve any weapons. The most > destructive behavior described was tossing crap on the floor and > standing on a desk. Boo-hoo. Oh no! A child is on a desk! I need a cop > to fight this battle for me.
Now I'm confused - what are we talking about? Your statements were not specific to that situation but to all kids. I was addressing only the latter. If we're talking about just that kid then I agree - I would have expected the educators to handle the situation alone. But you were saying all five-year olds in all cases - that's just not true. > It has to be taken in context of course. Sure, in a situation that > involves weapons of some kind having someone trained to deal with a > weapon situation is probably a good idea. And I wouldn't object to > people taking training or studying how to better deal with weapon-free > situations, but I find the idea that people could (and I suspect some > people do) think that training for those situations is necessary > honestly disturbing. Do we just start arbitrarily requiring that > everyone be trained to handle any common situation that someone found > unpleasant? It could help. All child care workers have required training: pediatric CPR, Mandated Reporting, Child Restraint, etc. I've let my certifications lapse, but most are available (many for free) from your local Red Cross. I'm not sure why the very idea of learning more about a situation and proven methods to address it should be seen as a bad thing? > > Good call - but I'm sure you can see where some people > > see violent behavior and instantly think "police" even > > if that's not the technically correct choice. It's the > > same reason that people see a cat in a tree and think > > "fire department". > > Stupid people. Again - that's insulting. Calling ANYBODY that reaches out for help "stupid" is just so wrong on so many levels. > > Think over your life about some of the ridiculous > > things you've seen police called for. Many people, > > when faced with scary or violent situations of any > > ilk first think "police". > > I spent a night in jail once. My brother in-law (martial-arts trained > and about twice my weight) heard raised voices in the other room. A TV > tray with a plate of food on it got knocked over accidentally and he > launched into the room on top of me and started punching me in the > face repeatedly (broke my tooth) under the assumption that I was > beating his sister. I spent the night in jail for defending myself > because my ex called 9-11 out of fear for me. I wouldn't have called > myself, I think she overreacted, albeit less so than her brother whom > I count among the "irretreivably stupid". I got to spend the night in > jail with him because I bit his arm when he shoved it in my mouth. As much as I feel for you I simply don't see how this relates? > > There's no shame in getting help with your kids if > > you feel you need it. It just seems like you're > > saying there is. People shouldn't EVER feel like > > they're failures if they can't handle everything > > on their own. > > Perhaps I'm jaded for not having had that luxury... I'm sorry - it's a cop-out if you say it wasn't available to you and you wanted it. As I said, most local mental-health associations and Red Cross centers have classes and programs for very little or no money. The Internet offers many free resources as do many schools, YMCAs/YWCAs, hospitals and day care centers. The respite care program that I worked at provided child care for troubled kids. Kids that couldn't get "regular" sitters. We charged on a sliding scale from $0.50 - $3.50/hour depending on income. The YMCA at which I ran children's programs had several "scholarship" programs to provide summer camp or after-school care to kids who's families lacked the means. Most "Big Brother/Big Sister" programs have special needs participants upon request and are cost-free. This stuff isn't a luxury. > As a child my father was distant, violent and drugged (he's still > distant, my suspicion is the other 2 are also consistent), and my > mother expected God to solve all her problems. My sister was my most > responsible guardian until I was in my teens and now I don't talk to > her because she doesn't like the fact that I split up with my ex. She > stays with her husband who allowed their 2 yr old daughter to drown to > death in their bathtub under his "supervision". He left her in the tub > while he went downstairs to smoke a joint with some friends; the > downstairs neighbors were the first people to complain when the water > started leaking into their apartment. > > In general life has only become more of a challenge as I've gotten > older. Now that I'm 30 I certainly don't have anyone telling me that > help (for anything) is available, desirable and warranted. Instead I > have threats of jail time for not consistently paying $1,600/mo in > child support for the past 5 years, _especially_ when I've been out of > work (apparently when you're not working you obviously have more money > and don't need the job so you can better afford the drain). > > Unfortunately lately I'm aware that there's nothing I can do about the > fact that my ex is now resorting to drugging herself and the kids > (prescription) because she's unhappy. The people in your life obviously have not sought help - don't you think it would be better if they did? > So yes, personal responsibility is a real issue for me. Sorry - but I call bullshit. Taking a class, getting help and knowing your limitations are the height of personal responsibility. Allowing yourself to be overcome, plodding forward when you don't know what you're doing and living in lazy ignorance are all a shirking of personal responsibility. Jim Davis ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Purchase Captivate from House of Fusion, a Macromedia Authorized Affiliate and support the CF community. http://www.houseoffusion.com/banners/view.cfm?bannerid=52 Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:155172 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
