I've had some time for introspection. Personally I find that the writing process
helps me to deconstruct my thoughts and my emotions, so I'm preparing to post my deconstructed thoughts in another thread. Before I do that I want to make a few things perfectly clear: I am a man of my word. I have read the recent entries on these threads via the archives (it's mildly frustrating to guess who's saying what in some cases). I will continue to answer personal email. I did not - get punkd - run away - back down - lose a fight I am not a child. I was not then and am not now fighting anyone. I was then and am now engaging in conversation (however confrontational it might have been). I was not intimidated and no one "put me in my place". Had I been intimidated I would have posted a lip-service apology on cf-talk as had been requested (and may have called the police as was suggested by Tim). As with anyone else, had I been intimidated any apology I may have appeared to make would not have been a genuine apology. As such imo it's better that I was not intimidated, since I was able to offer a genuine apology motivated by my own feeling that my comments warranted an apology. You'll all have to make up your own mind whether you believe I was intimidated or you believe the apology was genuine, because the two are mutually exclusive. The strangest correction I have is to Tim's apparent cognitive dissonance over my job search situation. Yes, Tim sent me a lead or two. In spite of what he's said, I contacted them and as far as I recall none of the leads Tim sent me said I expected too much money (Tim, feel free to rebut if you have an email that contradicts this). On the contrary they offered me potentially more than what I described as my minimum salary. I have been told by one or two people that I want too much money, but they are in the minority and none of them were leads from Tim. One of them expected me to be grateful for a job in Richmond at $20k less than my last full-time job, so I find it difficult to take her seriously when there are other people offering me what I'm asking or more. As I've said before, I don't spend all my time wallowing in self-pitty. I address my problems with action, when action is fruitless I vent my frustrations and I move on to the next problem. Oh and... where did anybody get the bizarre notion that I was complaining about people using personal information about me in their replies? I pointed out in a previous thread that I don't consider the job situation to be relevant in these matters. I was no more than annoyed by Tim's having dragged it over to cf-talk where it doesn't belong in an attempt to ruin my career. I was amazed he had the gaul to drag my girlfriend into it and think that was just peachy -- she did nothing to him or anyone else. I have however posted personal information on the list, and just as it is available for people to use against me in live conversation it's also available for people to use against me here and I accept responsibility for that. I don't recall ever telling anyone it was unethical or even not to use it. I do recall rebutting certain specific points, although I simply ignored many comments simply because I didn't consider them relevant and was limiting the amount of time I spent on responses. Others have expressed different opinions about my having been dissected in this way, and I see their concern in spite of the fact that I personally am not more than annoyed by it. I would be more concerned that others would be put off by the threats of physical violence that I dismissed. I have not yet reinstated my subscription preferences, so I'm still reading the list via the archives. I probably won't reinstate them for a month, less because of the need for introspection and more because I expect to be in a hotel on contract for much of the next month (and without a laptop), and will probably also change my cf-talk preferences because I don't expect to have much access to email. After this contract things will change of course, I'll probably be out of state, but I hope to be picking up a laptop and maybe taking my desktop with me. At that point I'll figure out whether I have time to be involved in the community list based on my workload and living situation. s. isaac dealey 434.293.6201 new epoch : isn't it time for a change? add features without fixtures with the onTap open source framework http://www.fusiontap.com http://coldfusion.sys-con.com/author/4806Dealey.htm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:204352 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
