Gee Denstar... And I thought I could rant and rave.....
Now that is not saying your adivice or comments are going to be ignored either, the problem is that we know he's been depressed for awhile. But it's only been the last few months that has seen him retreat, as a friend who has known him almost all his life I am doing the best I can with what knowledge I know. The hardest part, as I think you indicated is how:-( So much to digest again:-) -----Original Message----- From: denstar [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Monday, 29 September 2008 8:28 AM To: cf-community Subject: Re: Need some advice on serioulsy depressed friend On Sun, Sep 28, 2008 at 3:57 AM, CyberAngel wrote: > Wow denstar... Yeah. :-) Been down this road a few times. Happy to try to help. > Ok let me answer a couple of the things. Yes he is on medication, and is on > the current legal maximum dose of anti depressants. Well what he can buy > legally I suppose, that side of things never gets me. We have to buy the > medication, at the moment because he literally has gotten to a point where > he is just curled up day after day, night after night. I don't believe medication is the end-all, be-all, that a lot of docs do, but they have a role to play. Diagnosis is a huge factor in treatment, so first off, really dig into WHY they docs think he should be treated with X. Does it jive with what you know of your friend? This is important, because the wrong diagnosis can lead to the wrong medications, or at the least, ineffective treatment. There are many many kinds of medication, all targeting various areas of the brain/body, and doing different things to one's chemistry. This is the main area to research, IMO. The wrong ones can make things worse, or have really bad side-effects, or do nothing but complicate treatment. What's sucky, is that it's not really an exact science. It seems a lot like witch-doctoring, in my experience. Many times, you're dealing with relatively new drugs, and it was not uncommon for me to know more about them, and their interactions, than the doctors did. That's why researching, and having an advocate, is so important. Messing with people's brain chemistry is a tricky business. And there are some scary drugs (don't let the research freak you out too much tho). And there are doctors who are too busy to really care. And it's very hit and miss. Finding the right balance can take months. A good chemist/psychologist is key, and you want someone who can devote more than 15 minutes to the problem (as I said, it can take months, and you want someone who knows, by memory, how your friend has been doing on X dosage of Y for the last three weeks, etc..). If they believe in cross-discipline stuff, it's even better, as mental health is really a big-picture kind of deal, and a lot of doctors like to focus on their own little piece of the pie, so to speak. Sometimes the person needs to be on the meds for extended periods (I don't subscribe to the "you'll have to take this the rest of your life" mentality-- it's pointless and scares people away), and sometimes they just need them when they start to feel down. Coming to terms with the medication, and not seeing it as "evil", is important. Impress that it's alright to need some chemical help sometimes. Getting a feel for mental states is part of learning to live with a "different" way of thinking. Once your friend is back on his feet, it's much easier to avoid getting so bad. It's a process-- which you need to constantly remind your friend of. Might seem incredibly shitty today, but This Too Shall Pass. Give it time. Work for it, and you'll get there. Seems to be how life rolls, in general. It sounds like trying a different type of drug, perhaps, might be an idea for your friend. Sometimes it takes a little of this, a little of that, but the meds are some scary stuff, and everyone is different. Watch that shit close, basically. Try to use intake (diet,exercise,funny movies,SLEEP!), once out of the funk, to control mental state. Prevention is a lot easier than treatment. Slow and steady tho, slow and steady. Water is seriously important, too. =] > Sometimes it's hard to know if he is with us or not, by that I mean he > acknowledges people but will take awhile to respond. Sounds catatonic, almost. If he stops eating or drinking, I'd worry. Duh, right? That's the main reason to commit someone, in my opinion. If they won't eat for too long, or you cannot prevent them from hurting themselves, or others. He may just need some time, a safe place to chill, and some good mellow vibes. I'm not a doctor tho, and I've clashed with doctors over this stuff before, so, well, you'll have to figure out what to do on your own. Listen to that inner voice... what is it saying? Think about yourself, too. Don't get lost in your friend. > It is not easy to watch, because we actually feel helpless. Next to being trapped in there yourself, it's the worst feeling you can experience. > Can you elaborate more on the health plan, I am not sure I understand that? > Nothing has been mentioned to us about that, what I do know is we have a > list that we adhere to keep a vigil eye on him. You said he was working, so I was thinking maybe he has a health plan that covers some mental stuff. Time off, drugs, maybe treatment at a nice facility... Officially getting treatment can label him (if he hasn't been labeled already), which is something to keep in mind. > You have given us a lot to take in here, so let me digest it:-) Heh, here's more. :-) > And I actually feel like a rat talking here, but I know how supportive you > guys are. So I guess taking a small bit of abuse, would be beneficial if it > helps me grip the situation some more. You haven't done or said anything that should make you feel bad. Learning what you can is good, my friend. I'm not a doctor, nor an expert. I have strong feelings about sanity, and mental health, although I try to not let those feelings blind me. I went into a drug/lack-of-sleep induced psychosis once. Hell, maybe it was a stroke. It wasn't fun. Watched The Madness of King George while getting back to myself. LOL! That was a trip. I was lucky, and was able to get back on my feet without much of anything besides family and recovery time. I'd spent a great deal of time contemplating reality/sanity before my experiences, so wasn't too upset when I lost my grip. I knew it was all relative anyways. That probably helped. Had I been institutionalized, I'd be carrying the crazy label, instead of just applying it to myself, as I've done throughout my life. We're all a little crazy, although society likes to act like it's just a minority. Some more than others, I reckon, but still. Being different isn't a bad thing. Mine wasn't depression, per se, but I've got an interest in the mental side of things, I guess. It's all sorta related, I think. Take it for what it's worth, and I hope it helps, somehow. Props for being there for your friend. -- The mental act of sensation which issues in reflex movement is so simple as to defy analysis. Samuel Alexander ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;207172674;29440083;f Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/message.cfm/messageid:271272 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5
