I am sympathetic, and wish you and your son the best in life and relationships.
>>Life has too many circles... I have found in my own life (and the people around me) that the most dangerous things are the cycles. It's one thing to have bad luck, its another to relive the same situation time and time again. And it happens so innocently, time and time again. (the scariest part of 9/11 for me is knowing that we have entrenched at least another 2 generations of war and hatred on our children.) >>Then on vacation in Kaua'i he told me he'd hated me since he was 9. Sometimes words have a tough time communicating emotion. >>And like a lot of supposedly smart people, people sometimes think I sound >>like I'm talking down to them. It doesn't take a smart person to talk down to someone. Eric From: Ben Braver <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: CF-Community <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Subject: RE: Seeking a little sympathy Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 11:22:26 -0800 Thanks for the compliment, Tim. We may not agree on issues, but I respect you. I can be stubborn, too. And like a lot of supposedly smart people, people sometimes think I sound like I'm talking down to them. They don't like it (particularly wife), even if I apologize & say not intended. He was 22 in Nov. Yes, he knows we have been good for him - in terms of support. But that doesn't mean he has to like me. And whether I like him or not, I'm still his parent, and believe I have certain obligations as such. When he was 9 he sassed one time too many and too much, and I hit him, knocked him down. I don't think that was right, but it happened. He was always challenging the discipline. Also was going to Mom to try to undermine Dad. When I was 10 or 11, my Dad smacked me, under almost identical circumstances. I don't think it was "right", but as I got older I realized that I really provoked it. Life has too many circles... -Ben At 02:14 PM 2/21/03 -0500, you wrote: >I don't know, how old is he? That just sounds F'd up. Maybe let him fall on >his face and then he can see how good for him you really were. > >While we haven't met, I do feel as though we all get to know each other >reasonably well in here. You seem like a really great guy. Scares the hell >out of me. My three year old already tells me he hates me when I discipline >him. > >Tim > >-----Original Message----- >From: Ben Braver [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 2:04 PM >To: CF-Community >Subject: RE: Seeking a little sympathy > > >At 01:58 PM 2/21/03 -0500, you wrote: >>That's what I meant :) >> >>That for all the trials and tribulations my father and I endured earlier in >>life, we are now great friends. > >That's what I thought was happening, until last summer. >We were going to lunch & movies, watching tv, bs-ing. >Then on vacation in Kaua'i he told me he'd hated me since he was 9. > >-Ben > >> >>Tim >> >>-----Original Message----- >>From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 1:56 PM >>To: CF-Community >>Subject: Re: Seeking a little sympathy >> >> >>Or it might work out to where you have a great relationship with your dad >>like i did with mine. >>It just depends what life stores in the cards for us >> >> >>----- Original Message ----- >>From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> >>To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> >>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 1:52 PM >>Subject: RE: Seeking a little sympathy >> >> >>Ben, >>A little encouragement. My father and I couldn't stand each other >>for years. I have to admit my own part fully, I was wild and liked to >>party. I was emancipated at 16 and we didn't speak for a couple of years. >>I think his letting me fall flat on my face, and all the struggles that we >>had in our relationship, only served to make me a better person, and to >>cement the relationship that my father and I now enjoy. >> >>I only hope that I have the strength that men like you and my dad >>show now that I have my own sons. >> >>Tim >> >>-----Original Message----- >>From: Ben Braver [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 12:06 PM >>To: CF-Community >>Subject: Seeking a little sympathy >> >> >>hi gang, >> >>Another real bummer with the 22-year-old son. >> >>He's been working as a banquet cook and fills in at the pantry station in >>the line restaurant sometimes. >>It's a "boutique hotel" with a huge, deluxe fitness club attached. >>The restaurant serves the hotel, the club, and hopefully the general >public. >>But the sales and marketing person (who just got fired) did a lousy job of >>publicizing it to the community. >>Between that and the economy, business has been lousy. >>Most of the restaurant staff have had their hours cut. >>Yesterday, my son found out he's being laid off (via a voice mail message). >> >>So, it's gone from bad (no roommate and not enough hours to make ends >>meet), to worse (no job). >>This is the third horse he's had shot out from under him since getting out >>of the cooking school. >> >>He's pretty bummed out. >>So am I - his moving home would create a virtual (or real) war zone. >>And subsidizing him until he gets up to speed on a new job (or jobs) and a >>roommate would be hard financially, especially when we're finally getting a >>handle on the budjet. >><heavy sigh> >> >>My wife went over to "just be there" last night. >>(He only wanted "Mom" there.) >>She suggested he get real and go for a job at Starbucks or something just >>to make rent. >> >>Yes, I know the economy is rough right now. >>But I cringe at the idea of financing an education at the California >>Culinary Academy for him to end up at Starbucks. >> >>I think the problem may be that he doesn't have fast enough knife and >>"production" skills to keep up with the chefs' expectations - he loves food >>and cooking, but isn't the most coordinated person. (You should see his >>handwriting!) And he doesn't have the "fire" (drive) and confidence to >>charge into the typical line kitchen and take it by storm. (Pardon the >>mixed metaphors.) >> >>Yeah, I'm sure it will work out for him and us. >>Just feeling a little bummed and looking for some kind words from a bunch >>of great people. >> >>Have a nice weekend, everyone. >> >>-Ben >> >> >> >> >> > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?forumid=5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?method=subscribe&forumid=5 This list and all House of Fusion resources hosted by CFHosting.com. The place for dependable ColdFusion Hosting. Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
