Thanks for the compliment, Tim.
We may not agree on issues, but I respect you.

I can be stubborn, too.
And like a lot of supposedly smart people,
people sometimes think I sound like I'm talking down to them.
They don't like it (particularly wife), even if I apologize & say not
intended.

He was 22 in Nov.
Yes, he knows we have been good for him - in terms of support.
But that doesn't mean he has to like me.
And whether I like him or not, I'm still his parent, and
believe I have certain obligations as such.

When he was 9 he sassed one time too many and too much,
and I hit him, knocked him down.
I don't think that was right, but it happened.
He was always challenging the discipline.
Also was going to Mom to try to undermine Dad.

When I was 10 or 11, my Dad smacked me, under almost identical circumstances.
I don't think it was "right", but as I got older I realized that I really
provoked it.

Life has too many circles...

-Ben



At 02:14 PM 2/21/03 -0500, you wrote:
>I don't know, how old is he? That just sounds F'd up.  Maybe let him fall on
>his face and then he can see how good for him you really were.
>
>While we haven't met, I do feel as though we all get to know each other
>reasonably well in here.  You seem like a really great guy.  Scares the hell
>out of me.  My three year old already tells me he hates me when I discipline
>him.
>
>Tim
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Ben Braver [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 2:04 PM
>To: CF-Community
>Subject: RE: Seeking a little sympathy
>
>
>At 01:58 PM 2/21/03 -0500, you wrote:
>>That's what I meant :)
>>
>>That for all the trials and tribulations my father and I endured earlier in
>>life, we are now great friends.
>
>That's what I thought was happening, until last summer.
>We were going to lunch & movies, watching tv, bs-ing.
>Then on vacation in Kaua'i he told me he'd hated me since he was 9.
>
>-Ben
>
>>
>>Tim
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
>>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 1:56 PM
>>To: CF-Community
>>Subject: Re: Seeking a little sympathy
>>
>>
>>Or it might work out to where you have a great relationship with your dad
>>like i did with mine.
>>It just depends what life stores in the cards for us
>>
>>
>>----- Original Message -----
>>From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>>To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 1:52 PM
>>Subject: RE: Seeking a little sympathy
>>
>>
>>Ben,
>>A little encouragement.  My father and I couldn't stand each other
>>for years.  I have to admit my own part fully, I was wild and liked to
>>party.  I was emancipated at 16 and we didn't speak for a couple of years.
>>I think his letting me fall flat on my face, and all the struggles that we
>>had in our relationship, only served to make me a better person, and to
>>cement the relationship that my father and I now enjoy.
>>
>>I only hope that I have the strength that men like you and my dad
>>show now that I have my own sons.
>>
>>Tim
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: Ben Braver [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
>>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 12:06 PM
>>To: CF-Community
>>Subject: Seeking a little sympathy
>>
>>
>>hi gang,
>>
>>Another real bummer with the 22-year-old son.
>>
>>He's been working as a banquet cook and fills in at the pantry station in
>>the line restaurant sometimes.
>>It's a "boutique hotel" with a huge, deluxe fitness club attached.
>>The restaurant serves the hotel, the club, and hopefully the general
>public.
>>But the sales and marketing person (who just got fired) did a lousy job of
>>publicizing it to the community.
>>Between that and the economy, business has been lousy.
>>Most of the restaurant staff have had their hours cut.
>>Yesterday, my son found out he's being laid off (via a voice mail message).
>>
>>So, it's gone from bad (no roommate and not enough hours to make ends
>>meet), to worse (no job).
>>This is the third horse he's had shot out from under him since getting out
>>of the cooking school.
>>
>>He's pretty bummed out.
>>So am I - his moving home would create a virtual (or real) war zone.
>>And subsidizing him until he gets up to speed on a new job (or jobs) and a
>>roommate would be hard financially, especially when we're finally getting a
>>handle on the budjet.
>><heavy sigh>
>>
>>My wife went over to "just be there" last night.
>>(He only wanted "Mom" there.)
>>She suggested he get real and go for a job at Starbucks or something just
>>to make rent.
>>
>>Yes, I know the economy is rough right now.
>>But I cringe at the idea of financing an education at the California
>>Culinary Academy for him to end up at Starbucks.
>>
>>I think the problem may be that he doesn't have fast enough knife and
>>"production" skills to keep up with the chefs' expectations - he loves food
>>and cooking, but isn't the most coordinated person. (You should see his
>>handwriting!) And he doesn't have the "fire" (drive) and confidence to
>>charge into the typical line kitchen and take it by storm. (Pardon the
>>mixed metaphors.)
>>
>>Yeah, I'm sure it will work out for him and us.
>>Just feeling a little bummed and looking for some kind words from a bunch
>>of great people.
>>
>>Have a nice weekend, everyone.
>>
>>-Ben
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
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