At 02:27 PM 2/21/03, Ben wrote:

>So are parents or spouses sometimes :-)

Ain't that just so true.  My father is critically ill.  Within the next few 
days he has to decide whether or not to have major heart surgery.  They 
have given him only an 80% chance of surviving.  He is terrified to have 
the surgery, and equally terrified that he will die without it.

I have always been very close to my dad.  I love him with all my 
heart.  But my siblings aren't as close, and it just tears me up to realize 
how much dad wants to spend time with them, but to them he is just not a 
priority.  I fear that if he does not survive the surgery, they are going 
to end up filled with regret at not resolving all the outstanding issues, 
and not spending any quality time with their old man while he is still here.

I am in the middle on this, and I try to explain it to them.  But old 
issues get in the way, and I am so weary from care giving and mediation 
that my heart is breaking over all of this.

I hope that you and your son can resolve with bitterness between you while 
there is still time.

Love,
   Maureen

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