My mom smacked me once, too. At some point as an adult you have to realize that mistakes happen. It'd be one thing if someone had a pattern of smacking - that's abuse. But, an isolated incident is a mistake, pure and simple. Hopefully he'll figure that out some day.
-d ----- Original Message ----- From: "Ben Braver" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 1:22 PM Subject: RE: Seeking a little sympathy > Thanks for the compliment, Tim. > We may not agree on issues, but I respect you. > > I can be stubborn, too. > And like a lot of supposedly smart people, > people sometimes think I sound like I'm talking down to them. > They don't like it (particularly wife), even if I apologize & say not > intended. > > He was 22 in Nov. > Yes, he knows we have been good for him - in terms of support. > But that doesn't mean he has to like me. > And whether I like him or not, I'm still his parent, and > believe I have certain obligations as such. > > When he was 9 he sassed one time too many and too much, > and I hit him, knocked him down. > I don't think that was right, but it happened. > He was always challenging the discipline. > Also was going to Mom to try to undermine Dad. > > When I was 10 or 11, my Dad smacked me, under almost identical circumstances. > I don't think it was "right", but as I got older I realized that I really > provoked it. > > Life has too many circles... > > -Ben > > > > At 02:14 PM 2/21/03 -0500, you wrote: > >I don't know, how old is he? That just sounds F'd up. Maybe let him fall on > >his face and then he can see how good for him you really were. > > > >While we haven't met, I do feel as though we all get to know each other > >reasonably well in here. You seem like a really great guy. Scares the hell > >out of me. My three year old already tells me he hates me when I discipline > >him. > > > >Tim > > > >-----Original Message----- > >From: Ben Braver [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > >Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 2:04 PM > >To: CF-Community > >Subject: RE: Seeking a little sympathy > > > > > >At 01:58 PM 2/21/03 -0500, you wrote: > >>That's what I meant :) > >> > >>That for all the trials and tribulations my father and I endured earlier in > >>life, we are now great friends. > > > >That's what I thought was happening, until last summer. > >We were going to lunch & movies, watching tv, bs-ing. > >Then on vacation in Kaua'i he told me he'd hated me since he was 9. > > > >-Ben > > > >> > >>Tim > >> > >>-----Original Message----- > >>From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > >>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 1:56 PM > >>To: CF-Community > >>Subject: Re: Seeking a little sympathy > >> > >> > >>Or it might work out to where you have a great relationship with your dad > >>like i did with mine. > >>It just depends what life stores in the cards for us > >> > >> > >>----- Original Message ----- > >>From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > >>To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > >>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 1:52 PM > >>Subject: RE: Seeking a little sympathy > >> > >> > >>Ben, > >>A little encouragement. My father and I couldn't stand each other > >>for years. I have to admit my own part fully, I was wild and liked to > >>party. I was emancipated at 16 and we didn't speak for a couple of years. > >>I think his letting me fall flat on my face, and all the struggles that we > >>had in our relationship, only served to make me a better person, and to > >>cement the relationship that my father and I now enjoy. > >> > >>I only hope that I have the strength that men like you and my dad > >>show now that I have my own sons. > >> > >>Tim > >> > >>-----Original Message----- > >>From: Ben Braver [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > >>Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 12:06 PM > >>To: CF-Community > >>Subject: Seeking a little sympathy > >> > >> > >>hi gang, > >> > >>Another real bummer with the 22-year-old son. > >> > >>He's been working as a banquet cook and fills in at the pantry station in > >>the line restaurant sometimes. > >>It's a "boutique hotel" with a huge, deluxe fitness club attached. > >>The restaurant serves the hotel, the club, and hopefully the general > >public. > >>But the sales and marketing person (who just got fired) did a lousy job of > >>publicizing it to the community. > >>Between that and the economy, business has been lousy. > >>Most of the restaurant staff have had their hours cut. > >>Yesterday, my son found out he's being laid off (via a voice mail message). > >> > >>So, it's gone from bad (no roommate and not enough hours to make ends > >>meet), to worse (no job). > >>This is the third horse he's had shot out from under him since getting out > >>of the cooking school. > >> > >>He's pretty bummed out. > >>So am I - his moving home would create a virtual (or real) war zone. > >>And subsidizing him until he gets up to speed on a new job (or jobs) and a > >>roommate would be hard financially, especially when we're finally getting a > >>handle on the budjet. > >><heavy sigh> > >> > >>My wife went over to "just be there" last night. > >>(He only wanted "Mom" there.) > >>She suggested he get real and go for a job at Starbucks or something just > >>to make rent. > >> > >>Yes, I know the economy is rough right now. > >>But I cringe at the idea of financing an education at the California > >>Culinary Academy for him to end up at Starbucks. > >> > >>I think the problem may be that he doesn't have fast enough knife and > >>"production" skills to keep up with the chefs' expectations - he loves food > >>and cooking, but isn't the most coordinated person. (You should see his > >>handwriting!) And he doesn't have the "fire" (drive) and confidence to > >>charge into the typical line kitchen and take it by storm. (Pardon the > >>mixed metaphors.) > >> > >>Yeah, I'm sure it will work out for him and us. > >>Just feeling a little bummed and looking for some kind words from a bunch > >>of great people. > >> > >>Have a nice weekend, everyone. > >> > >>-Ben > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?forumid=5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?method=subscribe&forumid=5 This list and all House of Fusion resources hosted by CFHosting.com. The place for dependable ColdFusion Hosting. Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
