Hey everyone, I went to my oncologist and gynecologist today.  They 
both felt a mass in my right breast.  I have been doing well with the 
gleevec, or so I thought.  My WBC are at 11.5 also, they usually stay 
around 8.  SO, I'm a little concerned and letting my mind overwhelm 
me.  I know that I need to have faith and think positive but darn I 
just can't help but be a little scared.  I'm so tired, I just don't 
want to do this anymore.  I keep reminding myself that God will only 
give me as much as I can handle, but I'm not thinking I can handle 
anymore.  I'm in a pity me mode, and keep running through my head all 
I have given up already and for the first time since I was dx with 
cml am wondering why me. There are so many out there that have it so 
much worse so not only am I feeling all the above, but I feel guilty 
for feeling bad about it, and feeling guilty for not just letting it 
go and letting God deal with it.  I can't balance any of it today.  
My mind is screaming "I'm to young for this crap."  Well so much for 
the age advantage <smile>  Thanks for listening.  


Amy in Lubbock








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