All,
I’ve been lucky as well, but I can offer up some good tips:
1. If you race the boat, get her on to the racing team. I know this may create
the Seinfeld-esqe paradox of “Worlds Colliding”, but her comfort level will
increase drastically when she sees the boat heeling while under the control of
you and your able crew. A lot of her discomfort is based on safety concerns,
and when she’s out with you, she may think you are faking it by pretending to
enjoy the heel. Seeing it happen regularly to the delight of you and others
will go a long way.
2. Give her the wheel from time to time. Let her feel the power and control.
And don’t appear nervous - if she sees you enjoying the angle while she’s
driving, she’ll come to enjoy it while you are.
3. Get her a big, comfy chair. We have one of these on board:
http://www.westmarine.com/buy/west-marine--high-back-go-anywhere-seat-navy-blue--10967917.
Yes, it may interfere with getting to the winch handle. But when she’s
comfortable on board, she’ll gladly move when you make adjustments. Plus, a
comfy seat will cradle her and make her more comfortable. There’s a reason why
they have bucket seats and not benches in sports cars.
4. Let her add her personal touches on board. This past weekend, David Risch,
possibly to protect his masculinity hard-core racing image, was very quick to
point out that the frilly blue throw pillows in the cockpit were all Diane’s
idea and not his. Now I know how much we all like our boats to look fabulous,
but not, you know, FABULOUS, but, even still, just having them there, for her,
will make the boat that much more inviting to her. Good move, David. And yes,
the Enterprise has throw pillows on board too (but way more manly than the ones
David has.) :-)
5. Attend a Rendezvous. She’ll talk with the other spouses because, frankly,
she doesn’t want to hear the story that you’re telling the other guys about how
you braved the latest storm or finished a race with a leaking bilge pump. And,
surprisingly enough, you’ll find that they’re not talking about fashion,
flowers, frilly things or how much men suck, but about their experiences on
their boats — the exciting times, the scary times and how they felt when things
went wrong. They won’t feel alone and they will enjoy it all, even the heeling,
that much more.
All the best,
Edd
Edd M. Schillay
Starship Enterprise
C&C 37+ | Sail No: NCC-1701-B
City Island, NY
Starship Enterprise's Captain's Log
On Sep 22, 2014, at 12:39 PM, Gary Nylander via CnC-List
<[email protected]> wrote:
> I've been lucky. My first admiral was gung-ho for almost anything thrilling,
> so sailing on the windows was not a problem. We used to take our Coronado 15
> dinghy out into the ocean from Marina del Rey and up to Santa Monica and back
> - surfing down the side of waves on the way back. (she then co-drove the IMSA
> 911)....
>
> Second admiral was much the same way - another 911 person - now the co-owner
> of Penniless - and running second in the Wednesday night B fleet (has a first
> place trophy from a few years back).
>
> Current admiral was raised by a father with an old Alden 46 yawl. After many
> summers spent sanding and varnishing, he would take it out when the wind was
> over 15, so it would move. Now, she doesn't like it when the rail is not
> close to the waves.
>
> As I said, I'm lucky.
>
> Gary
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Jean-Francois J Rivard via CnC-List
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Monday, September 22, 2014 9:41 AM
> Subject: Stus-List wife dosen't like it when the boat leans
>
> I'm in the same boat (Pun intended)
>
> The kids dig it, every one except the dog and my wife loves to hang out on
> the rail when the wind pipes up. No matter how much I tell my wife that the
> lake winds and little chop are not even close to being a challenge for a boat
> that was meant for offshore racing / cruising she just sits there worried..
>
> My biggest problem is that she does not participate much anymore. The few
> times she was grinding or doing something she kinda got into it. We tried
> her at the helm many times, she does not have much of a feel for it and
> typically looses focus which turns into luffing / half tacks.. When I try
> to talk her through it, she takes it as a personal dig on her sailing skills.
> Obviously, she's a bit short on skills, she's have never sailed before.
>
> My next attempt is to get her to take lessons from the local guy at the
> marina. (We're overdue for formal stuff) I meant to do it last year but much
> needed boat maintenance / updates drained the available funds. I figure
> (Hope) she'll be more receptive to the instructor's advice and instructions.
>
> I think if we can get her busy on the boat, she'll enjoy it better.
>
> -Francois
> 1990 34+ "Take Five"
> Lake Lanier, Georgia
>
>
>
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