Michi,

since you're asking us to point out what we don't like about your
style of arguing, I will try to express my feelings about some
of your statements. Sorry that I'm citing only selected paragraphs,
neglecting their context, but I refer only to the style, not the
contents.


Michael Wechner schrieb:

> But my question was, why do you think my questions are rude? Is it the
> tone? Is it that I seem to imply something? Is it that I might be
> right?

In Thorsten's place, I'd feel offended by this. You're suggesting
that he either behaves in an immature way or that he tries to argue
by emotional appeals, distracting from the meaning of your statements.
And you're being polemic, which may cause negative feelings towards you.
You're putting Thorsten in the position to defend himself. I guess
that was the reason why his last mail was this harsh.

[...]

> Just as an example and I am not comparing you or any other person with
> George Bush, but do you also
> think it is offending to ask George Bush why the war in Iraq is happening?

IMO this is arguing by emotional appeals. You say you don't want
to compare anyone to G. Bush, but what you really do is generate
an association to cause a negative bias. The situation you mention
(asking about the Iraq war) is not at all comparable to our discussion,
it feels grotesque to mention it in this context. At least in my
eyes this causes a negative emotion towards your style of discussion.

[...]

>> So why aren't you the leading example? Seems you are just waiting
>> that this projects will fail, to be able to say "I told you so",
>> aren't you?

> not at all and I don't see any reason why I should hope for this.
> At least not as long as it is still called Lenya, which is a combination
> of the names of my first two sons ;-)
> (but please don't take my last sentence too seriously)

Well, which amount of seriousness is appropriate here?
After all, you wrote this sentence. I understand it like you claim
a special position as the originator of the project. It feels like
you're appealing to our guilt - neglecting your suggestions means not
giving you the due respect as the originator of the project.

[...]

> I can only ask you to read my questions and statements as they would
> have been written by someone else and that you don't assume too much
> about myself and I am sure you will view things differently.

When I read something by someone I know, I always have the person in
mind. And I think it's a pity if you have to tell people to neglect
the association between your statements and yourself.


Well, if we would only put that much effort in technical
discussions ... :)


-- Andreas


-- 
Andreas Hartmann, CTO
BeCompany GmbH
http://www.becompany.ch


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