Hi, My changes and follow-up comments inline below marked with [mo]
Chapter 1 Is there an implicit assumption that user is running Windows? I think that it isn't a bad asumption, but that we should make it more explicit, or even flag it "If you're using Windows..." [mo] Thanks for this comment, I've made this more clear in the introduction. Intro "Specifically, the three major operating systems in use today, the Solaris. Operating System, Linux, and Windows operating systems," What about MacOS ? Sounds a little too much like Sun Marketing? We might want to take out the definite article here. [mo] Agreed, fixed. But, I haven't added MacOS because we don't even go there yet. However, I think we should definitely put MacOS and parallels on our list for items to cover in the next revision of the kit. OpenSolaris Installation Prerequisites "The following prerequisites must be met before you can install a laptop with the OpenSolaris software using the instructions in this document:" This is a bit strident, what about "should", instead of "must" ? Generally, we could make it seem more optional - be aware that if you don't do this, you lose your data. [mo] Agreed, this was requested by another reviewer, so I've replaced 'must' with language that is less authoritative. To Back Up the Disk Drive Scan and defragment your disk. Re-partitioning the Disk Drive To Re-partition Your Disk 1.Power on the laptop. 2.Choose Control Panel from the Start menu. 3.Double-click the Administrative Tools icon. 4.Double-click the Computer Management icon. 5.Expand the Storage list and select the Disk Management node. Should say "If you are using Windows" or similar? [mo] I think the introduction makes the Windows assumption clear now, but let me know if you want me to add more content within the procedure. Next Steps If Windows booted successfully, click the Installation tab for further instructions about how to install the OpenSolaris software on the new partition. ..what if it doesn't ? ;) We shouldn't leave the user high and dry. If recommendation is to desist, we should say that, or we should direct people to the OpenSolaris laptop community. [mo] In the previous section titled 'Troubleshooting' I do tell them what to do if Windows doesn't boot, maybe you reviewed an earlier copy here? Chapter 2. Installing the OpenSolaris Software Er, this may be a deliberate mistake, but the title seems to say chapter 1, not chapter 2. [mo] Just a formatting issue that will be fixed at production. Creating the OpenSolaris Installation Images We could also suggest "ISO Recorder" for Windows, it's free and works really well. [mo] THanks, I've added this to the list. Chapter 2 To Install the Solaris Express: Community Release Software 2. Press the Enter key to boot Solaris. The System Identification screen appears. 1. Specify Yes or No for Network Connectivity. 2. Specify a host name. 3. Specify a time zone. 4. Specify country or region. 5. Specify date and time. 6. Specify root password. Shouldn't we advise people to set No for Network Connectivity? I'd defer to Stephen, but I think this is easier to set up post install than pre. I'd like to know his thoughts. [mo] At least one other reviewer stated that they always configure network setting at installation, so I think it is better to leave this option in the steps of the procedure. It would be good to give some drawbacks & benefits for either choice, so I'll try to dig some up. I don't think that there is a clear resolution from Troubleshooting to Next Steps; troubleshooting would indicate that you revert to Windows, but really, we're saying either a. give up or b. do the install again (?) [mo] yep, I know. I asked this question in initial interviews and the response was to 'phone home', so I will add a link to the laptop community here suggesting the user send email to the list if they're stuck. Also, on further questioning, the subject matter expert said that a very low percentage, less than 10% should fail, so I think this is an OK position to take--not perfect--but OK for a document of this type. Chapter 3 Configuring the OpenSolaris Software This links seem a bit off, they direct to the wrong places, the Xorg for nVidia seems to be in the wrong place, configuring networking went to configuring screen resolution and vice versa. [mo]Right, navigation will be fixed at production, please use Next links to move around, not the TOC. If I had more time, I'd make these perfect for review, then rework them again for final. For the benefit of other community writers: From a doc dev perspective this situation isn't ideal and is caused by using a test tool to convert to HTML(it mangles the olinks), so this data will feed back into the tool development so others won't have to grapple with this when using same DocBook->HTML tool chain. Baby steps. wget - where is this command? which shell do you have to be in to use it? [mo] Looks like it is in SFW, but I am no expert, I don't believe you need a particular shell, but I haven't had this comment from other reviewers. I took this instruction from the laptop community web page and confirmed it with a subject matter expert. If more comments come in about this, I'll let you know. Thanks! Michelle Patrick This message posted from opensolaris.org
